Im still addicted
 

Im here cause i dont wanna be addicted anymore. I have been addicted to alcohol for about 12 years. I guess i am one of those people they call a functioning alcoholic. I drink daily, but I have kept a job the entire time. Relationships, are a different story. Now, in the last year I have also become addicted to hydrocodone. I want to quit. definitely, the hydro, but if i could the alcohol too.

I am just not sure where to start. I am so used to covering up my addiction, i dont know how to go to anyone and actually say i have a problem.

I am scared, because i did try to go without the pills and the anxiety was so bad i thought i would bust open. I cant deal with that feeling. Is there anything that can make it easier, or am i doomed to kill myself with my addictions.

loser

You are only doomed if you continue down this path.

Can you get to a meeting? What about detox and rehab?

Getting clean and staying clean is hard work, but staying where you are now is harder.

i wish recovery was so easy
 

I dont have the money for rehab, more than that i cannot take the time off of work for recovery. If i dont work i cant pay my bills. Not to mention the obvious, if my bosses found out about my addiction, i would not have a job. Im one of those in between people, I make to much money to qualify for any help, and not enough to pay for it on my own.

I hate sounding like such a whinner, I am just not sure where to go or how to help myself without destroying what i have.

Hi and welcome to SR, you have made your first positive step, have u discussed any of this with your doctor? there are things which they can do for you to help relieve symptoms. Try reading and posting on here, there are so many people who can help and support you. Nobody is a loser, we all have different troubles to deal with and being honest about them is the first step to recoery! (((HuGS))) ''In all these things we are more than conquerors through HIM who loved us'' Rom. 8 v 37.

:welcome to SR We cant do your recovery for you but we can do it with you. A great start would be to have an honest/open meeting with you doctor.

This might also be a good next step www.NA.org - the website for the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous

Glad to have you with us, we are all struggling with addiction in one way or another.

Take Care,

NB

HI feellikealoser - welcome:grouphug: I'm glad you found SR - it's a great place for support. I can relate to your posts - I felt like I was in a big hole, trapped by alcohol, with no way out (self-employed, couldn't afford to go to treatment, etc). But thanks to the support here, I've been sober over a month now.

I thought I was functional, too (no one really knew about my problem and I didn't lose a job, family, etc), but now that I look back on it, I wasn't functioning very well at all. I was miserable and walking a fine line in alot of respects, including my health.

I think everyone is right about going to your doctor (or finding one that specializes in addiction/detox if you can). As you probably suspect, the combination of alcohol and drugs can make for a dangerous withdrawal.

If we can do it, you can do this too. A new life awaits you!:day6

Definitely have a chat to a doctor. Many people detox on their own under a doctor's supervision.

It's so great that you found your way here and are seeking help. As others have said, we are have all struggled with addiction at some point. Recovery is an ongoing journey and lifestyle. It's not just about giving up drinking/using.

I totally agree with seeing a doctor and asking for help in getting thru the alcohol/hydrocodone withdrawal. Sometimes meds can be given for a short time to lessen the horrible anxiety of withdrawal. Please get medical help just to get safely and comfortably thru w/d. Then start working on a recovery program, whether AA/NA, or another program, or counseling, or whatever. Just work on your recovery every day, one day at a time, and you'll soon start feeling better.:)

feellike a loser, please start by changing your name, beating yourself up is only a means to an end, start being positive if you can. I have been a functional alcoholic for many years and it's progressing where I am running into problems and becoming non functional. thought pattern is a major one in my opinion.

you arent a looser. The addict mind, the disease we all have, will invent any reason at all to keep you addicted. It has too, because actually there is no logical rational reason to carry on. So your disease mind will fill you with thoughts like 'i'm doomed to be an addict', 'i need to keep on using to cope with the anxiety', 'i cant quit, its too hard'. Just recognise that these thoughts are themselves part of the illness, may make them easier to deal with.

I suffered with terrible anxiety, but bizarrely, these became alot better after I stopped using. I've found that alcohol was responsible for many of the unpleasant symptoms, psychological and physical, which I was using as an excuse to continue drinking in the 1st place! I just made the decision to let go of it all.

67 days sober and counting...

good job priceyjunk, I'm finding too that alcohol is the root of most of my problems, I hate this substance