Emmy69

I'm a little over 90 days sober and in general I feel great and am so glad I made the decision to become sober. But the last couple of weeks I've really been struggling with my anger. It's like my control switch is broken. I really get angry quickly and way out of porportion to the situation. Missing a putt playing golf. Sitting in traffic. Stuff like that gets me really feeling anxious and ****** off. It's not that I'm angry about not drinking or that I feel like I'm in a place where I have an overwhelming desire to drink. It's seems more situational and a reaction to daily occurences

Now, I've never been the Lebowski "laid back dude" person either, but I was always in control. But this snap anger thing is weird and a little troubling and I was just wondering if others have run into this as well.

least

It could be PAWS: Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. That's just your body and brain relearning to function normally without alcohol. Google PAWS for lots of info. What you're describing sounds like what PAWS can do.

Congrats on 90 days sober!!

Anna

It could just be part of the process of recovery where you have to learn new ways to cope with negative emotions.

Are you getting lots of exercise?

Sometimes journalling can help too. For me, I found listening to music helped calm me.

Dee74

I know I got a little tetchy somewhere around 90 days...none of us are doctors of course but this PAWs page is good reading anyway...

Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) Digital Dharma

D

Draciack

I can't speak about PAWS but I found out about a week ago (still in early sobriety) that I never really had a control switch for anger. For me, alcohol was the switch and without it I have to channel anger in a more healthy fashion. But that's just me.

Congrats on 90 days sober

Brucel

Happy 90 days!!! When I first sobered up and was going thru pretty much what you described I heard a tape of a guy describing his emotional state. He said he had ended up a grown-up man, in a grown-up body, with grown-up responsibilities--at the intermittent becon call of childish emotions. That floored me cause it WAS me. This too shall pass, but remember, you can't think your way into right acting. You just act as if and your mind will follow and that anger should go away.Again, way to go on the 90!!!!

HumbleBee

I remember being pretty sensitive at 90+ days. OK, yeah, I was pissed off. LOL.

Others have said they felt that way at 9 months.

Still others have said they hit a short-fuse wall at 15 months.

Early sobriety is when the most physical and emotional changes are taking place. I think it's just part of the re-adjustment process; we're re-acquainting our bodies and minds to living without a substance abuse crutch, whether things are going well for us or not.

We can't heal what we don't feel.

I struggled for a long time with no end in sight, hiding from the realities of my life with alcohol. It's been worth it for me to learn how to tolerate some emotional discomforts and re-adjustments that continue to lead to a better way of life.

I used to just take a nap, or if at work, stepped outside for some fresh air, listened to soft music, and most importantly, just b-r-e-a-t-h-e.

This too, shall pass.

NewBeginning010

When a lot of people quit drinking it is usually the first time in a long time that they have experienced real feelings & emotions for years without any substances to numb things out (alcohol or drugs). Over 20 plus years for some of us.

Its going to take some time to adjust mentally & physically to your new way of life. It is worth it in the end that is for sure.

Take Care,

NB

Tommyh

I was very pizzed off at dang near everything
only thing that helped me was the 12 steps

coffeenut

About 60 days in I was horrible. I thought I was fine.....my dear husband let me know otherwise. It seemed when I was stressed at all in there....man I was mad.

I agree with Anna....getting some exercise was so important for me. Not only did it help let off steam, it helps me sleep better.

Congrats on your sober time!

Emmy69

Thanks all for the encouragement and advice. I read those links on PAWS and it really hit home. I realized in the last few weeks I've cut back on the exercise I was doing. I've also been eating a lot of chocolate. Both of those could contribute to my anger issues. Also I did discover when I was experiencing an "episode" if i could get myself to do some deep breathing it helped.

It's so great to be part of this community. You've given me some ammunition to help me get under control again.

Thank you all so much!

topspin

Emmy ,

I have noticed I sometimes will feel some "over the top " kind of emotions,

(my magnifying mind ) ...blowing things out of proportion , mentally. Worst case scenario imaginings and all, .... might be just some mental processes left over from my days of drinking.

Before I got sober my pattern was so predictable. Normally , before I would have my first drink, ...sometimes I really couldn't "think " of any good reason to drink ; ...just would . Many times I noticed a pattern building up to that first drink. I'd start dredging up the same old crap in my mind to get angry (or depressed )about, ....and then proceed to drink.

That's why I rarely listen to blues or country music right now in early sobriety; even though I love blues music.


.

Chops

lol, I am still sometimes that way at 2 years +, its gotten alot better though. I do not curse (to myself) the school bus as it stops for kids anymore...

progress not perfection

Norther

I have heard that anger rises out of a sense of entitlement to something better - ego - and out of fear that you are not being highly enough regarded/ treated right by the world - fear, ego and pride. I get angry in traffic, as if everybody else should get offa my road. It's insane. Others have the right to drive, rain has the right to fall, my wife has a right to her feelings, particularly to her anger over my past wrongs. I have to remind myself of these things, because I am in the erroneous habit of assuming that the universe revolves around me. To the very limited extent that I have gotten better in this regard, it has been because of the steps.

(We're both in New Hampshire, I see. Weird weather, huh?)

Rusty Zipper

good going on 90 days emm

try giving the PAT program a shot

P-Patience
A-Acceptance
T-Tolerance

hey, what do you have to loose?

littlefish

A couple of people have made references to AA. I use AA and working the steps really helped me understand where my anger was coming from. I too was ANGRY!

I am not however recommending AA as the only way: there are other programs available and there is therapy too, which I also used and found really useful. Still do. Perhaps a program of some kind would give you a way to discuss your feelings and get some feedback.
Congrats on your 90 days!!!!