aasharon90

Hi, Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP, the fellow-
ship of AA, 12 Steps and Principles
of an awesome program of recovery,
I havent found it necessary to pick
up a drink of alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely grateful.

The first steps of recovery consists
of learning how not to drink a day
at a time. Once u are on the road
of recovery then u can start tackling
other issues rocking ur world.

We have to deal with people, places
and things on a daily bases that
ruffle our feathers.

With a few number of ODAAT collected
together to get me where I am today,
i remain sober but still am disturbed
by past events that got me drinking
in the fist place.

I love to continue blaming family
members and classmates who were
cruel to me for yrs.

Of course working the steps helps
to allivated the pain and resentments
we hold against them.

Still.....yrs later, we r all much older
and yet i still feel as young as i did
back in the day.

Most people connect on Facebook
these days to catch up on old school
friends and keep in touch with family.

Sure it fun....for most, yet how can
i connect to them whom were so
cruel to me back in HS and didnt want
anything to do with me.

To go to a reunion when i barely spoke
to any of them. Then on top of that
my brother and i went thru school to-
gether and graduated n together.

He was just as cruel and my mom was
to me and thus favored the school mates
more than he did his own sister.

I dont think i can ever forget how each
played a part in my life which almost
lead to my departure of this world almost
20 yrs ago.

Sure im cardial to them as best as i
can be, but i dont have to like them.

Today, im sober and happy which is
important to me. Others may see me
otherwise which is not important.


Living life on lifes terms without
drinking.

NEOMARXIST

You're sober and happy. That's all that matters really. You cannot buy happiness. I hear people all the time on about material possessions. That ain't happiness that's just a novelty buzz. Soon wears off. Like drink and drugs.

Happiness to me is contentment and relative peace of mind. My mind used to feel like it was a washing machine going round and round. It feels great to have it slowed down and stable.

For what it's worth I stay away from Facebook. Not good for my sobriety. I don't need to be told or shown how great everybody elses life is. It is great now I don;t compare my insides to everybody elses outsides. Facebook epitomises that for me. My recovery comes first. SR is of more value to me at the moment in my life. Real people and real life.

I had a great school life. I truly loved school. I used to actually want to go to school when I could have had time off for being ill. I loved the people and the banter and things we got up to. Thats what made it so hard for me at my lowest. I went from having it all in many ways to losing everything. Apart from a roof over my head. That would have gone as well.

Peace

Gypsy Feet

I have had some past behaviors crop up recently that caused me some discomfort. Now I see that I was being shown some defects of character that I was still hanging on to, as they use to serve me well as a defense. Today I am going to practice self love, and remember that all of these people are mirrors held up so that I can see myself more clearly.

aasharon90

"Happiness is contentment and
relative peace of mind....."

That sounds nice. Thank you.

"Practice self love." Also sounds
nice. Thank you too.

AA is the only place I
can be who I am...myself.....

I went to sleep last night
thinking about the class
reunion and how id fit in.

I could see myself and my
new spouse showing up on
our motorcycle and walking
in with leather and lace...lol

But then i knew how uncomfort-
able id feel. Sure i could walk
in with my head held high,
shoulders back, secure, confident.

And yet how fake would i feel.

I learned over the yrs after being
hurt so much to put a barrier around
me to ward off demons if u will,
cruel, hurtful, snutty, stuckup people.

To walk in even after all these yrs
and pretend like nothing happened
would be a lie.

And i know i dont have to prove
myself to anyone. I dont have to
explain anything either.

And to avoid confrontation would
mean not going.

Why place myself in a uncomfort-
able position.

Na....my serenity is more important.

hendershot

Just on facebook: you don't need to have an account. I don't because I don't like the idea of being sucked into it. Plus I have a tendency to judge how people look on the outside with how i feel on the inside. Everybody on facebook seems like a happy success story and I feel worthless by comparison. But whatever your reason, you should feel no social obligation to participate.

AlwaysGrowing

Interesting topic.. For my 18th Bday I publicly thanked people who were key my first year in receovery. I was open to all my friends on FB about it. I don't advertise it but I don't hide from it either. Some coworkers have asked questions as they have loved ones that are active.

While I do have old 'friends' they were drinking buddies some were and actually are real friends. I think mostly that has to do with being in the Marine Corps and being that "Band of Brothers". Others from school, well I've have visited one evening while in town but drinking and hanging out isn't my thing today....

AG

Toronto68

It makes sense to me why AA (or this site for that matter) would feel like a place to be "at home" more than Facebook or a renunion. Facebook is a photo album version of online journals (way more marketable) and between it and Twitter, you get to see people competing for attention over every other whim that passes through their minds. And it starts out with the expectation that you need to have a minimum of happiness, I suppose. I originally liked it OK as a way of seeing what is going on with people from different corners of my life all in one place, but it's quickly becoming a nuisance at times, so perhaps I had better limit the usage. Here, you have someone without a determinate expectation on how happy someone is. What we did with schooling and what we own and whom we know doesn't amount to too many genuine beanhills here. And if you spend time talking with them about something that is so personal...well, which is the closer friend, in that sense? For us, sobriety-affirming friends count in a way they didn't in the past, and so do we.