coming_clean

i've been on and off with smoking weed (Drug of choice) for such a long time now, with so many day ones, i kinda lost faith in my own strenght to overcome my addiction.

However I'm on an emotional low, this is like a record, but not a good one. I just don't care about things anymore. I now it's the weed numbing me, but I dont care about that either. I don't care about my girlfriend, about myself, my hygiene, my body, my life. I'm not depressed, I don't want to die, I just don't care right now. Nobody knows this, on the outside i'm a happy self-confident guy.

I know it's the weed messing with my serotine levels and general fitness, so THIS JUST HAS TO GO.
I realise now that if I smoke one more joint I will kill myself, (spiritually, mentally).
I'd rather be all alone with no loved ones, friends and family but sober, then all these good people around me with this disease. With the disease i'm dead anyways.

THIS IS GONNA STOP TODAY.

seven more hours and I can go to bed...

coffeenut

You're right. It does have to go.

I hope you sleep well.

NEOMARXIST

People. Places and things.

I had to change them all to stand any chance whatsoever to remain sober/clean.

On days like this when it is a Friday evening and scorching hot and everbody is out drinking round the pub beer gardens then I wouldn;t have stood a chance unless I totally changed and accepted changing people, places and things in my life.

It takes a lot of work staying sober/clean and a total lifestyle over-haul but I didn;t have a choice. I too was dead inside and was sick of the people, places and things when the initial buzz of the booze and drugs wore off.

All The Best

artsoul

Yeah, this is what addiction does to us. It robs us of our ability to deal with life. I'm glad you've made a decision to get yourself back. You can do it.

Dee74

You can make this one the very last day one if you want J.
Think about the things you can do differently this time, what outside supports you can add

D

Kjell

What Neomarxist said.

I had to go to any length and will always have to go to any length.

Good luck! You know the best part of all of this? You never have to smoke week again.

coming_clean

I made it I made it I made it I made it I made it...

I feel so crappy right now from detoxing and a slap in the face called life, but on the other hand so content and happy I made it through this day...

I don´t know if I want to cry or laugh...

Hello i´m Julien, i´m an addict ......i´m here because i want to be sober...I need to be sober.....

good night everybody...

Dee74

Congrats mate
D

Kjell

One day at a time. Today was a great day then.