My high school year book
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 73
My high school year book
I was cleaning up and came across my high school year book. 1969! (Ya, I know, I'm a dinosaur). What struck me was the notes my classmates wrote to me and the number of references to alcohol.
"Have a great life, but stay sober"
"Party on!"
"It's Miller time"
"King of the Harvey Wallbangers!"
You get the idea. There were more. Wow. I was only 17 when I graduated. Not sure why I started drinking so early. I never thought of myself as a drinker back then, just doing what I thought the other kids were doing. But apparently my classmates thought otherwise. Even then moderation wasn't in my vocabulary.
Looking back through all those years of drinking it's hard not to be a little depressed. What might I have accomplished if I worked harder on my career? How many more friends would I have today if I was a better friend myself? Would I be closer to my family if I reached out to them once in a while?
Alcohol takes it's toll slowly, in baby steps that you don't even see. That can over time add up to a life of "what ifs". Damn.
The good news is June 1, 2010. 90 days sober. Thank you folks of SR, I couldn't have done it without you!
"Have a great life, but stay sober"
"Party on!"
"It's Miller time"
"King of the Harvey Wallbangers!"
You get the idea. There were more. Wow. I was only 17 when I graduated. Not sure why I started drinking so early. I never thought of myself as a drinker back then, just doing what I thought the other kids were doing. But apparently my classmates thought otherwise. Even then moderation wasn't in my vocabulary.
Looking back through all those years of drinking it's hard not to be a little depressed. What might I have accomplished if I worked harder on my career? How many more friends would I have today if I was a better friend myself? Would I be closer to my family if I reached out to them once in a while?
Alcohol takes it's toll slowly, in baby steps that you don't even see. That can over time add up to a life of "what ifs". Damn.
The good news is June 1, 2010. 90 days sober. Thank you folks of SR, I couldn't have done it without you!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Try to focus on the now, Emmy.
The past is always closed to us - we can't change it.
Right or wrong whatever we did has bought us to this day, and to who we are now....and we can do whatever good we like today
Congrats on your 90 days Emmy
D
The past is always closed to us - we can't change it.
Right or wrong whatever we did has bought us to this day, and to who we are now....and we can do whatever good we like today
Congrats on your 90 days Emmy
D
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
Originally Posted by Emmy69
Alcohol takes it's toll slowly, in baby steps that you don't even see. That can over time add up to a life of "what ifs". Damn.
The good news is June 1, 2010. 90 days sober.
The good news is June 1, 2010. 90 days sober.
Ah, the old what ifs....I learned long ago that it's self-defeating to look back on my past as if it was a waste.
Honestly.
If it weren't for my past, I know I would not have learned the things I did (and that I continue to learn every day) that have made me the person I am today...less self-involved, less of a people-pleaser, less emphasis on trivial matters, more giving, more empathetic, more energy; spiritually and physically, and on and on and on.
And, of course, we can always be grateful that we stopped drinking when we did, rather than look back another 20 years from now and ask, why? that is, if we even lived to reflect on it anytime in those addt'l 20 years.
The artist in my avatar passed away at 98 yesterday. Her personality matched her coming into the world on Christmas day, 1911, where her mother's attending doctor remarked, "Madam, you are quite ruining my day."
Here's some of her quotes that I like:
I have been to Hell and back and let me tell you it was wonderful.
I am a lonely runner, but I am a long distance runner.
Every day you have to abandon your past or accept it...
My [bad] memories are moth-eaten.
Congrats, Emmy! It's awesome being on this journey with you!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 73
Thanks all for your words of encouragement. Especially you Humble. Your comments always seem to hit home and make total sense. Must be the NH connection!
I was feeling in a bit of a funk today. But I really am feeling so much better since I quit it's amazing. Energetic, optimistic, excited about the future! On to 120!
I was feeling in a bit of a funk today. But I really am feeling so much better since I quit it's amazing. Energetic, optimistic, excited about the future! On to 120!
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
YEA!!!!! 90 days is fantastic! Or should I say "groovy?" haha - We're in the same generation, my friend, and I haven't been all I could have been either, but Humble's post and your attitude says it all: today's a great day to be sober and we know the value of life because it. See you at 120!!
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Congrats on the 90 days:-)
As for the past im convinced if i hadnt spent all that time drinking i would be something like a fighter pilot with a part time business on the side that would run itself making me a multi billionaire, i would have figured out how to draw models to me like bees to honey, have an amzing family that would make the waltons ashamed and i think probably they would have created a new medal just for me, something from the UN for heroic services to the world...actually probably aliens would have made first contact because of me and the medal would be for services to the galaxy...and i would speak 10 languages now including alien...maybe running the world...
Or i could have got run over walking the dog on the way to the benefits office?!
Joking apart who knows what would have happened, probably not much to be honest...we are all where we were meant to be and where we are supposed to be today:-)
I know what you mean though i lived in the past and thats where i stayed until i did the work to change my perceptions of the past and clear it up...i dont understand how to deal with the past any other way apart from trying to ignore it and that never worked for me...
As for the past im convinced if i hadnt spent all that time drinking i would be something like a fighter pilot with a part time business on the side that would run itself making me a multi billionaire, i would have figured out how to draw models to me like bees to honey, have an amzing family that would make the waltons ashamed and i think probably they would have created a new medal just for me, something from the UN for heroic services to the world...actually probably aliens would have made first contact because of me and the medal would be for services to the galaxy...and i would speak 10 languages now including alien...maybe running the world...
Or i could have got run over walking the dog on the way to the benefits office?!
Joking apart who knows what would have happened, probably not much to be honest...we are all where we were meant to be and where we are supposed to be today:-)
I know what you mean though i lived in the past and thats where i stayed until i did the work to change my perceptions of the past and clear it up...i dont understand how to deal with the past any other way apart from trying to ignore it and that never worked for me...
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Awesome achievement on 90 days!!
Yes the past is the past. Although I got sober at 23, I spent much of the last few years of my drinking ruing the past and how I had ballsed it all up. Also I was very upset and bitter towards myself for having to suffer with my mental health/emotional stuff at such a crucial age. This bitterness and pain would have killed me if I hadn't have gotten sober and then got into recovery so that I could begin healing and trying to make sure that my future is not wasted. (literally)
I am what I am and it is what it is. There is nothing I can do about that and I accept where I am now and I am very grateful for having the oppurtunity to be able to do things properly now. I truly never thought I would get another chance so I am deeply grateful. As long as I am sober then I can make my future a happy one. I work on my stuff and it's getting better all the time. One day at a time.
peace.
Yes the past is the past. Although I got sober at 23, I spent much of the last few years of my drinking ruing the past and how I had ballsed it all up. Also I was very upset and bitter towards myself for having to suffer with my mental health/emotional stuff at such a crucial age. This bitterness and pain would have killed me if I hadn't have gotten sober and then got into recovery so that I could begin healing and trying to make sure that my future is not wasted. (literally)
I am what I am and it is what it is. There is nothing I can do about that and I accept where I am now and I am very grateful for having the oppurtunity to be able to do things properly now. I truly never thought I would get another chance so I am deeply grateful. As long as I am sober then I can make my future a happy one. I work on my stuff and it's getting better all the time. One day at a time.
peace.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Up, Up and Away
Posts: 434
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Try to focus on the now, Emmy.
The past is always closed to us - we can't change it.
Right or wrong whatever we did has bought us to this day, and to who we are now....and we can do whatever good we like today
D
The past is always closed to us - we can't change it.
Right or wrong whatever we did has bought us to this day, and to who we are now....and we can do whatever good we like today
D
And, Emmy, congrats on the 90 (91 now) days sober.
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