Finally
Grab the wheel!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 7
Finally
WOW does it feel good to finally admit it and start the work! Been drinking for 20+ years, everyday for 2, and at least a 1.75 each weekend for the last 1. Unfortunately it's a family tradition, Grandfather passed from liver damage, my Dad is a 1/5th a day guy, so many terrible memories as a kid, this can't continue.
I'm 8 days in - longest in at least 5 yrs, thrilled with all that's good - emerging sense of adventure - looking at my children, neighbors, and friends differently - wife is so proud, however, I'm terrified of how much I enjoy the first high from a stiff drink, and really scared about thinking I can handle it. Shame carried me through the first few AF days, for me, now is the hard part.
I hold a professional job, enjoy my involvement with the local parish, love my 2 kids & adore my wife. I guess I'm lucky to finally face this before I screw everything up bad, I have had 1 DUI 3 yrs ago, and did get "laid off" thankfully a nice severence, but it could be a lot worse as some of you know. My bottom is I had two consecutive weekends with blackouts, followed up by survival mode bloody's each of the last two Sunday mornings. Finally last Sunday, after drinking steadily from 8am, I did my "gas station special" 32 oz sprite w/ 1/2 pint vodka (I was taking my daughter to her softball game). I thought I was discreet pouring it in, when from the backseat she said "you sure have had a lot of that today?" I just about broke down, instead used it as a reason to drink it all on the 20 min ride.
Here's to becoming a better Dad, Husband, and Friend, look forward to sharing the journey with you all!
I'm 8 days in - longest in at least 5 yrs, thrilled with all that's good - emerging sense of adventure - looking at my children, neighbors, and friends differently - wife is so proud, however, I'm terrified of how much I enjoy the first high from a stiff drink, and really scared about thinking I can handle it. Shame carried me through the first few AF days, for me, now is the hard part.
I hold a professional job, enjoy my involvement with the local parish, love my 2 kids & adore my wife. I guess I'm lucky to finally face this before I screw everything up bad, I have had 1 DUI 3 yrs ago, and did get "laid off" thankfully a nice severence, but it could be a lot worse as some of you know. My bottom is I had two consecutive weekends with blackouts, followed up by survival mode bloody's each of the last two Sunday mornings. Finally last Sunday, after drinking steadily from 8am, I did my "gas station special" 32 oz sprite w/ 1/2 pint vodka (I was taking my daughter to her softball game). I thought I was discreet pouring it in, when from the backseat she said "you sure have had a lot of that today?" I just about broke down, instead used it as a reason to drink it all on the 20 min ride.
Here's to becoming a better Dad, Husband, and Friend, look forward to sharing the journey with you all!
New Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 162
Welcome StLSMD! I can definitely relate to the family tradition, finally became a force to be reckoned with, with me as well. Like AG, I have found tons of support here on SR as well. it's a great place to be, I mean literally, you have encouragement & a place to vent/share at your fingertips. Take full advantage! You need it, but most importantly we need it too. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
Hi StLSMD
I remember the feeling of relief when I decided to admit it to myself and start doing something about it. You've come to a good place - you'll find a lot of support here
Congratulations on your eight days.
D
I remember the feeling of relief when I decided to admit it to myself and start doing something about it. You've come to a good place - you'll find a lot of support here
Congratulations on your eight days.
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi StLSMD! 
Keep posting and reading - this is a great place. I can relate to feeling of relief, too, just being able to be honest with someone about my drinking. I knew I couldn't stay sober on my own either; coming to SR was a Godsend. You can do it!
Keep posting and reading - this is a great place. I can relate to feeling of relief, too, just being able to be honest with someone about my drinking. I knew I couldn't stay sober on my own either; coming to SR was a Godsend. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 83
StLSMD,
It's nice to see a post like yours, although a horrible situation, drinking and driving with the daughter in the car, and her knowing you drink too much. When I read posts like this I think this will be my future if I don't work to get sober now, and make it work for me. I wish you the best, keep going!
Cheers
Lithobid
It's nice to see a post like yours, although a horrible situation, drinking and driving with the daughter in the car, and her knowing you drink too much. When I read posts like this I think this will be my future if I don't work to get sober now, and make it work for me. I wish you the best, keep going!
Cheers
Lithobid
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Remember how you felt when your daughter said that to you. Don't ever let go of that feeling. When you want a drink, remember that feeling and how horrible it was, and how you don't ever want to feel like that again. Feelings and emotions are powerful things. They can guide us to do either the wrong thing or the right thing; I think it's up to us to decide how to use them.
Great work on your early sobriety! Thanks for joining us here. It's a great place to be.
Great work on your early sobriety! Thanks for joining us here. It's a great place to be.
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