Day 3 -
 

Hi everyone,

On Day 3 today and DO NOT want to drink to ease these horrible withdrawal symptoms so I thought I would get involved and post here.

This is not my first attempt....In fact it's probably about my 20th. I first realized I had a problem 5 years ago and went to rehab. Stayed sober 9 months, drank for a few days and then another 6 months. Since that time, I put together a month or two or three and then I'm back to drinking. The last year in particular has been a nightmare of new lows and bottoms.

This past week I REALLY went to a new rock bottom. I'm living with my sister now (the LAST place I have to go) and I went out and drank for a couple of days, wound up in jail and said and did a lot of really crazy things to my friends and family. The worst part is I don't even remember half of it.

SO, my family has me pretty much on lockdown and has taken all of my access to money, transportation etc. I resisted this very heavily in the first day but yesterday I really realized how far down I have gone and that death is just around the corner if I continue.

continued..
 

Oops! I hit enter and posted before I was finished.

Before I sound too much like I'm whining and feeling sorry for myself, I just want to say that I want recovery today more than I ever have. I CAN do this and reading everybody's posts and encouragement really helps me.

The nightsweats are HORRIBLE and I am still shaky but I know that to drink again is to die. I do not want that poison in my body and mind anymore. I keep reminding myself that this withdrawal will be over soon and that I never ever have to go through it again.

As a chronic relapser, I have been to detox and treatment a LOT of times. The thing is, somewhere in the back of my mind I always had a plan that down the road i could drink again when nobody was looking. Today, I am frightened at the thought of even leaving the house and I don't have that plan. I am praying and reading the Big Book and trying to start this whole thing from a fresh perspective and forgot everything that I thought that I knew about AA and recovery. I am truly a newcomer once again and I need to surrender 100%. For today, I AM surrendering!

Thanks for listening - I just needed to write all of this down in order to cement it even further in my mind. Strangely, I am almost grateful that I have just been through what I have because it has really helped me to realize the gravity of my situation.

To any other newcomers, let's do this together! We can do it. The the oldtimers, thank you so much for helping us get there one day at a time!

Peace,

Steven

Steven,

Congrats on deciding to live sober. I was told if I wanted different results, I had to take different actions. What actions are you going to take differently this time?

Thanks dgillz,

I am willing to do whatever it takes. Listen, take suggestions, go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, stop being so stubborn, admit to myself that I truly am an alcoholic and that my life is vERY unmanageable.

Those are just a few of the things that I know I need to do. However I also 'know' that I don't 'know' a thing about how to do this. So I'm ready to let others who have gone before me help me and do my part.

I hope I'm on the right track - for today, I am not going to drink and that feels good.

Sounds good, Steven. Welcome to SR.

Will your family be able to take you out to a meeting? The sooner you make contact with AA the best and get lots of phone numbers, so you can build up a support network around you - particularly if you are unable to get far on your own.

Welcome, Steven! I know all about multiple attempts, too. I've tried every which-way to drink reasonably and failed - I didn't accomplis a thing except to get myself in a worse state. Been to treatment a couple times too. I had to give up, finally, because I knew serious consequences and health issues were waiting on the doorstep. My life was miserable. Know I know that if I ever decide to test my sobriety again, there's a good chance it will end tragically.

I hope you'll check out the May Class of 2010 thread (in the Newcomer's Daily Support section). There's a bunch of us who are newly sober this month and are giving each other that extra bit of support/friendship that we need to get through the first days.

Congrats on Day 3!!!!! :c011:

Welcome to the SR family and congrats on deciding to live sober.:) It takes a lot of effort, a lot of changes, and some sacrifice, but it's SO worth it. The physical withdrawals should be easing soon and then the work begins at staying sober one day at a time. :grouphug:

Welcome to SR, you will get lots of support here. Congratulations on Day 3! and for having the courage to be honest and willing to change your life for the better. Just keep posting and reading. You can do and will with determination make it through the rough patches.

Congrats Steven on 3 days!!

((Steven)) - Welcome to SR!!

My bottom was pretty low before I finally surrendered, but the good news is, we never have to go back there again! SR is full of people who understand what you're going through, and I wouldn't have 3 years of recovery without their help...glad you're here!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Welcome Steven

I had a lot of those 'one day I'll drink again' 'recoveries' too but the last one was different...I finally scared myself.

I'm very very glad I did :)

Look forward to seeing you around
D

I hate the night sweats and I know they'll be paying me a visit tonight. I too am a chronic relapser.

Ok, Day 3 is coming to a close and just wanted to thank everybody for their comments and posts! I feel better knowing that I'm not alone.

Also, I am starting to feel much better physically which is helping me to have a positive outlook mentally. Hoping I won't sweat too much tonight but if I do, I'll just remember that it's my body recovering.

Goodnight all - and to those going through the same withdrawal as me, we can do this. See you all tomorrow!

Steven

Glad to see you are here Steven!! You will find plenty of useful info and tons of support here at SR.

Yayyy for winding down day 3. I know those first days were brutal for me but I held on and man did it get better!!!! Just focus on one day at a time and ohhhh don't forget your vitamins and thiamin supplement. I drank mostly gatorade to replenish my body.

Looking forward to your journey and know that we are here 24/7 so post away!