Tao

I am married now 3 years to a man who has been sober for about 12 years. When I met him, he was 47, never married, and no long term relationships. We've had a pretty good relationship up till now....and as I've looked to build closer, more intimate connection with him...all sorts of "stuff" has come up. We are in couples counseling, and looking at childhood wounding ect.

We seem to have no ability whatsoever to really openly and honestly talk about feelings...he says he can't and has no capacity to. He said just today he'd rather divorce than think he could ever build those skills.

I'm of course, devastated...and have no idea how to help him. I don't know enough about how the alcoholic is hard-wired to really know what is true here.

I just asked him if he was willing to stick with counseling, and he reluctantly said he is...but pretty much admitted he simply cannot do relationship.

What do I need to understand? Is true closeness and intimacy impossible with someone who was lost in the bottle for ten years??

Dee74

The two threads are now merged here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ng-spouse.html

D