People w/ lotsa clean time on newcomer board
 

I am very thankful that you all still come here and that there are tons of people with tons of clean time on this board. Otherwise (in a situation of my own so only speaking for myself) it could end up like the blind leading the blind. Which I only say b/c of a comment I made to someone, that if someone w/out a lot more clean time than me wouldnt have responded after with a MUCH more reasonable response.
I know I am being vague, but I just really want to say THANK YOU for you all being here, b/c I have no idea what the he#$ I am doing and w/out you I don't think I ever would, b/c of you all i have hope, and at times right now thats all I have to hang onto!
SO THANK YOU ALL, I CAN NOT WAIT TO BE ONE OF YOU!
<3 Dream :ring:tyou

The good thing about SR for me is that we all play our part - the oldies and the newbies :)
We're a real community and that's why I think people keep coming back :dunno:

D

From an AA standpoint, we have newcomer meetings. in order for these meetings to work people with sober time who have worked the program must be there. Also, we more or less are committed to helping alcoholics. The fact that this is onlne and not face to face changes very little. I would imagine that lots of recovered alkes who are not in AA feel the same way on these issues.

I remember sitting in AA meetings always feeling like one of the "strugglers" - likening myself to the one or two others who were having a bad time and always relapsing.

Then one night, I found myself listening to one of them talk and really feeling for them, thanking whoever that I was not like that any more.... Eh? Then it hit me. I seemed to have crossed some line between struggling and recovering - and I didn't even notice. Kind of sneaked up on for no eother reason than I kept doing what I had to do - ie not drinking a day at a time. It was a good feeling/realisation and I am sure you can get it too. Just keep at it and don't be too hard on yourself.

So glad that we have this place to talk - I know it's a big part of my recovery and wouldn't be without it.

Stu.

This raises what might be considered a vague and pointless question but here goes... "when is one not considered a "newcomer"?

I don't think there is any hard and fast rule, however in my experience newcomer meetings cover the first 3 steps.

Hi Dream, glad u found us here, I suppose yes there are some clean and some not, but then there,s also a place for us co dependants, thats why I like SR so mucnh, it is so diverse and boy one learns alot, and i am glad we can all pull together and be there for each other! This is a hard road and who wants to walk it alone? Be strong, keep posting!

I think we could all be considered newcomers to each new day of sobriety?? Never lived this day before. For me this feels a safer attitude.

Don't think even a long time sober would stop me posting on here. Folks on day one or two or three etc. perhaps don't realise how much they help others a bit further on to STAY sober. We really are all in this together.

There are no rules on what makes a newcomer on SR, ozgoddess :)
I'm still learning stuff everyday :D

D

In my opinion, whether you are a newcomer or someone with some time under your belt, all of us benefit from each other's struggles and successes. I like coming to the newcomer's section because it constantly keeps me grounded. Reading the struggles that the newcomer's go through helps me remember that I was there not too long ago and I can end up back there if I drink.

This might be controversial but I think no addict is ever cured. If you are truly an addict, which I am, I will always be battling addictions until the day I die. Until that day, I will take one day at a time. For me, I need some form of fellowship every single day to keep me on the right path. So for all the people who are on day 1, 2, 3 or even 4, I thank you for having the courage to post on here because you are helping me even if you dont realize it.

Dream, I think it helps to see people with so much time interacting here too. You should also remember that pennies add up to dollars. I only have 6 months, but I have gained from listening to someone with 6 days or hours before, I think. Feelings are never "wrong," but if we could just keep learning to progress to the next segment of them...It makes it so that the simple ("don't drink") does look simple, when it never used to. We don't let ourselves see the simplicity when we stay stuck in a small period of thoughts that challenge sobriety. That's when we have to outthink the momentary thoughts and shovel them out.

My sponsor is 25 years sober, you should see him when this guy comes to the meetings i used to go in Spain who has 40 years sobriety...its like my sponsor is all fresh faced and new again...how cool is that:-)

I found it very important in early recovery (earlier recovery lol) to really vet who i listened to, i found it difficult actually and i was very lucky to have my sponsor who filtered all the crap for me because there is a lot of it about...we are all very sick people until we change y'know and although sometimes our heart is in the right place the advice we give to another can literally kill them...buyer beware i guess;-)

I know Toronto won't mind me saying this but for me i have nothing to learn anymore from someone with 6 hours or days as far as sobriety goes but that certainly doesn't mean that they might not have something else to share that may definitely get me thinking...i hope that comes across as it is meant...

Yes, and it does come across that way, and I thought of you while I was writing it too. I suppose I meant not "how to live in sobriety," but more like seeing more about experienced pain or gratitude or something else that can crystallize even further.

:)

I like to borrow a concept from Shunryu Suzuki in my recovery. Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind.

Or Recovery Mind, Newcomer's Mind.

I have some clean time and am on step 4 currently, but try to maintain the fresh perspective and willingness that i had at the beginning. When i think i know something or am an "experienced" practicioner of something then i cut myself off from the infinte possibilites and the open minded willingness that i had at first due to my desperation.

I love the Newcomers Board. It's great because there is no hierarchy and everybody is of equal importance. Whether they have 20 hours or 20 years!

I can always gain insight and knowledge from anybody, regardless of how much clean/sober time you have. In fact I find some of the rawness and true thoughts and feelings of someone just starting out very powerful and beneficial to me. For me newcomers is what it's all about... giving people hope that recovery from alcoholism/addicition is indeed possible.

Keeps my recovery real and down to earth... which is where I like to keep myself.

I also love the more varied nature of the newcomers board. There are no right or wrong methods to recovery, just real people with real recovery passing on their insight and wisdom to others still struggling.

Thanks for the post!

I don't have a TON of time, however, the newcomer helps me too. Reading how some of you are struggling takes me back to when I was there, and it does REMIND me that I don't ever have to go back there again if I make the right choices. Recovery is one thing that really has a connection that goes as one circle. It stars and ends right in the same place. :)

Always keepin' it GREEN!!!!!

I remember when I first came to SR. Hearing from people that had sober time was very important to me. I needed them. Dee is one inparticular that was about a year sober about the time I got here....I hung on to every word he said! :)

And now I come because I really want people to know sobriety can happen. You can be a 30 year drunk and turn your life around. There IS hope. You can do this.

Oh, and I also come to newcomers because Newcomers help me with my sobriety as well. It is a journey.

Its crazy Coff... I go back reading my posts from when I first started using SR in 2004 (goodness gracious) and its sad to see only a couple familiar names still around,out of all of the people that I frequently spoke to.

I hope they are all still sober but when I read those sweet messages I have to wonder and worry about them. Its A LOT of people that would have had to have gone back out.

Its also sad b/c at that time I was only batteling Benzos and Alcohol and now I have been to the point of injecting all kinds of stuff, snorting all kinds of stuff, and still an alcoholic.

It would have been much easier to get clean back then as opposed to now, but I chose to keep going.

<3 Dream

People come and go Dream...lives change over 6 years too - I like to think most of the folks who move on from here move on to good things :)

D

and now....:whoop right?
:lmao

j/k, j/k, I kid...:c031:

D

Your right Dee, I like to think that too!

<3 Dream

I should read and post in the newcomers forum more often.
I usually stick to the substance abuse forum, but there is not a whole lot of feedback there, not sure why.

I had almost 2 years, would have been on June 7th. I went back out there for 3 weeks.
Realized I wasn't missin' a damn thing!

I'm very glad I snapped out of it and came back to recovery, and I thank SR for being here for me!

amen!

I learn something valuable from everyone here. I learn what to do from those with more sober time than me and I learn what not to do from those who have 'gone back out'. It helps to remind me of where I came from and what is possible if I stay sober.:)

I know, thread jacking, but he is awesome, isn't he? Dee has helped bail me out when I've been having a rough time, and I feel that the best that one can do over the internet, really looked out for me. This site is all that much better because of him. Dee....:You_Rock_

quit it!

LOL

D

Probably depends on who is doing the considering.

For me, it was when I realized that the obsession was gone, replaced by a spiritual awakening.

blessings
zenbear

If not for those with long time experience, I'd not be clean and sober today.

The 12th step of our program is quite clear that we need to give it away in order to keep it. Expanding on that, I've found that the more I offer love to others in the form of gentle direction, the stronger it gets and the more it is returned to me. My gratitude obliges me to give back what was so freely given to me. I do that by sharing my own experience, strength and hope....not by telling others how to "run their program."

I don't confer status to time sober, but I do regard recovery as a skill set; and, the longer I practice it the better I get at it. Thus, those with lots of time sober are probably worth listening to (but not always). I've also known people with long time abstinence but nothing like what I'd consider "recovery." Generally, these are folks who attend meetings but have never felt the need to do the steps. (my opinion, of course).

whenever someone asks me to sponsor them, I express my gratitude to them. anyone who is shy about seeking sponsorship (as I was) might consider how much of a blessing you will be to the sponsor. I find it impossible to be a teacher without also being a student, and every time I work with a newcomer, I'm working with myself as well. Hopefully, the day I stop growing will be the day I die.

I suppose....to be kind of glib....in terms of growth, we each and all water and fertilize each other. One drunk helping another....that's the magic.

blessings
zenbear