fakesmiles

Okay - I did great for 2 weeks. I felt unbelieavable and then, one evening I decided I could have just one drink because I deserved it. Who the hell was I kidding? Why does my brain trick me like this? I know I can't drink normally, but my brain tells me it will be different this time! So, I drank for a good month or so - not every night but almost. I have to start over, again.

Anna

Welcome back!

pinkgurl87

Welcome back!! Keep coming back that's what matters. Keep trying don't give up you can do this. Celebrate the sucesses and learn from the bad stuff. Your starting over that's important

Dee74

Hey again fakesmiles

Yeah we'll think anything sometimes to get that drink...

it wasn't until I started posting here regularly that I had something tangible to check against when my brain told me it was 'ok' to drink.

Keep posting here - especially when you get those ideas again

D

Dream2bClean

Hi! Im on a new start too just 3 days here so know you are in company and you can do it!
May I ask if your using any support besides SR? I am going to AA (for the first time) and absolutely love it (all 2 meetings so far but really love it and know its going to play the biggest part notonly in helping me just to stay stopped on the drinking but also to actually recover. I have started to pray and rebuild my relationship with God and cant wait to actually feel that security all the time, and then of course SR too!
I know its not easy but I am hoping with my plan and doing what EVERYONE who is successfully SOBER and HAPPY tells me what to do, praying for a sponser by tomorrow night at a womans meeting (at least a temop one, I dont care just someone qualified that can start me on the steps), I will have a home group by next Monday (if I dont find one I like better before then) and have been at least (attempting_ to pray morning and night and whenever I feel the need throughout the day, and you will see me on this board A LOT just rambling away b/c it helps and no one had told me to stop yet, as a matter of fact i have gotten noting but love and as you can see by my join date (2004) I have been on and off sr for many years (which someone kindly pointed out to me earlier that had a big impact for me)
So I just wanted to let you know Im here for and with you. I have faith you can do it...
Do you have a plan yet to continue to stay stopped this time?
Let me know if you ever need anything, I know I am knew and still in my own struggling phase, but I am here so thats about all I have to offer but Im here...
Best of luck! <3 Dream

fakesmiles

Thank you for the encouragement! I do not have a plan. I am going to try to get to this site every nite and talk to people. I can not get myself to go to AA yet. That is a really big step for me. I am changing my daily habits and drinking tea at night instead of the drinking. Funny thing is, I start up again when I think I have it under control. It's so stupid. I don't deserve a drink. I deserve not to.
Fakesmiles

artsoul

That's a great start, fakesmiles. There's pages and pages of posts from people who have cried out for help here at SR in the past, and I've read alot of them just to convince myself that there's no compromising when it comes to alcohol. I don't have a very good memory either!!:ghug3

Brucel

It talks about that mental twist in the Big Book. Seems we all got it. By the way welcome home. The support of others is the basis of AA. I tried it alone for a LONG time and found no clarity until I looked at it through someone else's eyes. Pray for the strength to go to a meeting and then just listen. It might help. I hope so. God Bless.