The day you stopped drinking
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 174
12/4/2010
Went out on a Friday, drank myself silly, got home and drank vodka till I passed out. Woke up the next day and went straight to the shop and got 8 cans of beer. Polished them off and went in search of booze in my house. Found a bottle of Baileys and a bottle of wine. The next day I went straight down to the shop and got 6 cans. By this stage I had started crushing up my lexapro anti-d's and snorting them. Drank the cans and found a big bottle of whiskey in my house. Next morning I was in bits, found another big bottle of whiskey and I couldn't believe my luck.
Fast forward to 8pm when I wanted to die. My jaw was practically clenched shut from the lexapro, I had run out of cigarettes and my parents had found me in my room looking like a skeleton with a carpet of empty beer cans and bottles of booze. The sad thing was that this was an extremely regular occurrence for me (and regular sight for my parents) when I went out - the 'party' would end a few days later in a pit of horribleness and shame.
I told my girlfriend and my parents that I was pretty much a full blown alcoholic and that I was done with drink. My dad couldn't believe I could drink so much for days and still be walking and talking.
I had an exam 3 days later which I had done absolutely zero study for. I knew the withdrawals would last for days like they usually do - the nightmares, anxiety, depression, sweats, the shaking etc etc etc. I was done. I managed to study on the day of the exam (recently got my results, I passed the year by 0.5%) and was literally shaking violently as I went in to the exam.
This was the story of my life for the previous 5-6 years. I messed up so many times, was arrested, was hospitalized, had been a bad boyfriend (over and over) that this was literally small potatoes compared to some of the stuff. All I knew was if I continued to drink my life was going to stay in the toilet. I knew/know that I'm much better than that. I didn't even know who I was when I looked in the mirror any more.
Game over, I was done. And, I've never been happier. I still have my amazing and beautiful girlfriend after 2+ years of my **** (Don't know how she stayed with me but I'm damn lucky, she has helped me so much) and my relationship with my parents has never been better. I never knew life could actually be this beautiful and my future is looking extremely bright.
Went out on a Friday, drank myself silly, got home and drank vodka till I passed out. Woke up the next day and went straight to the shop and got 8 cans of beer. Polished them off and went in search of booze in my house. Found a bottle of Baileys and a bottle of wine. The next day I went straight down to the shop and got 6 cans. By this stage I had started crushing up my lexapro anti-d's and snorting them. Drank the cans and found a big bottle of whiskey in my house. Next morning I was in bits, found another big bottle of whiskey and I couldn't believe my luck.
Fast forward to 8pm when I wanted to die. My jaw was practically clenched shut from the lexapro, I had run out of cigarettes and my parents had found me in my room looking like a skeleton with a carpet of empty beer cans and bottles of booze. The sad thing was that this was an extremely regular occurrence for me (and regular sight for my parents) when I went out - the 'party' would end a few days later in a pit of horribleness and shame.
I told my girlfriend and my parents that I was pretty much a full blown alcoholic and that I was done with drink. My dad couldn't believe I could drink so much for days and still be walking and talking.
I had an exam 3 days later which I had done absolutely zero study for. I knew the withdrawals would last for days like they usually do - the nightmares, anxiety, depression, sweats, the shaking etc etc etc. I was done. I managed to study on the day of the exam (recently got my results, I passed the year by 0.5%) and was literally shaking violently as I went in to the exam.
This was the story of my life for the previous 5-6 years. I messed up so many times, was arrested, was hospitalized, had been a bad boyfriend (over and over) that this was literally small potatoes compared to some of the stuff. All I knew was if I continued to drink my life was going to stay in the toilet. I knew/know that I'm much better than that. I didn't even know who I was when I looked in the mirror any more.
Game over, I was done. And, I've never been happier. I still have my amazing and beautiful girlfriend after 2+ years of my **** (Don't know how she stayed with me but I'm damn lucky, she has helped me so much) and my relationship with my parents has never been better. I never knew life could actually be this beautiful and my future is looking extremely bright.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Originally Posted by TFANC52 
May 25, 2010...Checking into a detox facility at 8pm tonight.
I'll never forget. Waking Sunday morning to an unbelievable tale of my behavior, told to me by my own child. I only know one way to make sure that doesn't happen to me again, today I will not drink.
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
June 20 '08. I will never forget it.
Without giving out every gory detail....I was working out and felt the need to stop at a landmark in our town. I sat down and a feeling of complete and utter calm came across me. I told myself I needed to stop drinking....now. Keep in mind it was a Friday Night!
Kept on with the work out until I got home....and then I sat outside and had a 'conversation' with what I now believe is my higher power. It was the most spiritual moment I have ever had in my life. I knew I was done.
And, I am. Was it easy? Hell no. But every single time I think of that day, I do believe there was some kind of an intervention on a spiritual level and I came out the winner in this.
I'm quite sure this makes no sense to anyone but me, but I guess that doesn't matter. I finally got it after 30 years of solid drinking. I am so very grateful....especially to SR.
This is an Awesome Thread!
Without giving out every gory detail....I was working out and felt the need to stop at a landmark in our town. I sat down and a feeling of complete and utter calm came across me. I told myself I needed to stop drinking....now. Keep in mind it was a Friday Night!
Kept on with the work out until I got home....and then I sat outside and had a 'conversation' with what I now believe is my higher power. It was the most spiritual moment I have ever had in my life. I knew I was done.
And, I am. Was it easy? Hell no. But every single time I think of that day, I do believe there was some kind of an intervention on a spiritual level and I came out the winner in this.
I'm quite sure this makes no sense to anyone but me, but I guess that doesn't matter. I finally got it after 30 years of solid drinking. I am so very grateful....especially to SR.
This is an Awesome Thread!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I've had so many 'last days' I can't remember them all, but the most recent one (six months ago) I just remember feeling desperate and lost and hopeless. I felt sick and tired of always feeling sick and tired and knew it had to stop for good... six months later and still happily sober!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
April 6 2007.
My stories elsewhere here but yeah - I thought I was dead. I'd fallen over and hit my head three times in one day and still wanted more booze.
Turns out later I'd actually had a couple of mini strokes.
I thought maybe adding a site like this to the mix might help me actually do something...and the people here really did...and still do.
D
My stories elsewhere here but yeah - I thought I was dead. I'd fallen over and hit my head three times in one day and still wanted more booze.
Turns out later I'd actually had a couple of mini strokes.
I thought maybe adding a site like this to the mix might help me actually do something...and the people here really did...and still do.
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Jan. 14, 2008 I had been on a binge all during the holidays. I started out determined to just have a few over Christmas, & failed miserably. Soon, 24/7 drinking was needed to stop the hangovers & shakes. This time I tanked quickly - I couldn't get enough. I kept one by my bedside to stop the shakes during the night. In the end, there was no sleep because I was terrified to close my eyes for fear I wouldn't wake up.
I don't know why that time was different, but I just knew it was the end of the road for me. I woke up one morning and could hardly stand - I gripped the edge of the bureau and cried out for help...promising if I could be raised up out of this one more time, I would do anything to get well. It worked - I was already reading posts on SR, but not taking it seriously enough. I began reading with a new attitude & respect for all those who had made it out of hell. I'm not sure I would have stayed off it without this amazing community. I was no longer alone, and that meant everything to me.
(Thank you for a great thread AWOL)
I don't know why that time was different, but I just knew it was the end of the road for me. I woke up one morning and could hardly stand - I gripped the edge of the bureau and cried out for help...promising if I could be raised up out of this one more time, I would do anything to get well. It worked - I was already reading posts on SR, but not taking it seriously enough. I began reading with a new attitude & respect for all those who had made it out of hell. I'm not sure I would have stayed off it without this amazing community. I was no longer alone, and that meant everything to me.
(Thank you for a great thread AWOL)
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Earth
Posts: 94
May 6, 2010 - Had been drinking steadily for about the past two years starting with three black and tans at the pub after work and then progressing to anywhere from two - six additional beers after i got home. The drinking increased a lot for various reasons. I stopped smoking weed a couple of years ago, my wife and I have more financial resources, my job has been extremely stressful and my home life has its ups and downs. What was once a moderate to heavy drinker slowly progressed into what I consider dependence or alcoholism. The marijuana smoking and weekend drinking during my twenties seemed to mask the alcoholism that was probably always there. Drinking gradually became more satisfying than weed over the past ten years and ultimately the alcohol became my drug of choice.
Anyway, things have been extremely bad for quite some time and alcohol was my medicine. I've contemplated quitting many times over the past six months or so. I even got some klonopin a few months ago for the impending withdrawal but left it on the shelf for a later time. Finally, on the morning of May 6th, I basically lost my mind during my ride to work with my wife. She has expressed concern about my drinking but somehow thought the answer was to cut down. I just lost it that morning and made it clear to her that I had to stop today. I managed to detox myself over the next few days with the assistance of klonopin and haven't had a drink since. The first week was rough but things are getting better everyday. I no longer feel dependent but the triggers are still there. I'm starting the 12 steps and feel I'm confronting my addictions honestly for the first time in my life. Deteriorating health, stressed family relationships, underachieving with life goals all played a role in my decision, but ultimately, I was just fed up and filled with self loathing. Today, I feel I am becoming a better person. I am less irritable, more cheerful, and optimistic. It is a long road ahead. I've started the 12 steps and started the Big Book. I am slowly breaking down my ego and trying face life on life' terms. SR has been my greatest support so far.
Anyway, things have been extremely bad for quite some time and alcohol was my medicine. I've contemplated quitting many times over the past six months or so. I even got some klonopin a few months ago for the impending withdrawal but left it on the shelf for a later time. Finally, on the morning of May 6th, I basically lost my mind during my ride to work with my wife. She has expressed concern about my drinking but somehow thought the answer was to cut down. I just lost it that morning and made it clear to her that I had to stop today. I managed to detox myself over the next few days with the assistance of klonopin and haven't had a drink since. The first week was rough but things are getting better everyday. I no longer feel dependent but the triggers are still there. I'm starting the 12 steps and feel I'm confronting my addictions honestly for the first time in my life. Deteriorating health, stressed family relationships, underachieving with life goals all played a role in my decision, but ultimately, I was just fed up and filled with self loathing. Today, I feel I am becoming a better person. I am less irritable, more cheerful, and optimistic. It is a long road ahead. I've started the 12 steps and started the Big Book. I am slowly breaking down my ego and trying face life on life' terms. SR has been my greatest support so far.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 651
4/25/10
I had been guzzling Budweiser for decades. The last 4 years were the worst. I became a reclusive drunk. My house was littered with beer cans. I went on vacation and spent the week on a binge from hell. I hardly ate and stayed drunk until Saturday Night. That Sunday Morning the hangover was horrific. I had sworn off alcohol before like most alcoholics but would pick back up even worse a few days later.
This time something clicked and my body knew I was serious. It said "oh hell no you dont"!!! "You dont feed me beer for 26 years and then quit"!!! Three days of hell followed! I couldn't sleep, threw up everything I ate, had violent shakes, stomach cramps and night sweats. I finally showed up to work and came clean with my boss. He was cool about and let me have the rest of the week off to go see a doctor, start AA, and get my **** in order.
Good God I feel so much better than when I drank. My worst day sober is better than my best day drunk. I'm on step two about to move to step three. One day at a time for the rest of my life.
Oh yea today is my 30 day aniversary! I can't get to AA till Thursday to get my chip.
I had been guzzling Budweiser for decades. The last 4 years were the worst. I became a reclusive drunk. My house was littered with beer cans. I went on vacation and spent the week on a binge from hell. I hardly ate and stayed drunk until Saturday Night. That Sunday Morning the hangover was horrific. I had sworn off alcohol before like most alcoholics but would pick back up even worse a few days later.
This time something clicked and my body knew I was serious. It said "oh hell no you dont"!!! "You dont feed me beer for 26 years and then quit"!!! Three days of hell followed! I couldn't sleep, threw up everything I ate, had violent shakes, stomach cramps and night sweats. I finally showed up to work and came clean with my boss. He was cool about and let me have the rest of the week off to go see a doctor, start AA, and get my **** in order.
Good God I feel so much better than when I drank. My worst day sober is better than my best day drunk. I'm on step two about to move to step three. One day at a time for the rest of my life.
Oh yea today is my 30 day aniversary! I can't get to AA till Thursday to get my chip.
not little, a stranger no more
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: in the crowd
Posts: 410
June 8th 2009
It was a Monday waking up completely hungovermiserable, depesssed and full of anxiety. The day before I had been driving from visiting family and I couldn't wait to get home so I could drink without anyone notocing. Drank a six pack at home plus some liquor.
Then ran out of it and decided to go to a bar. It was a binge like many others before- at that point alcohol wasn't numbing out anything anymore, it basically had stopped working. Little did i know at that point that much of what I was experiencing was cuased by alcohol itself. I was at a point where I thought that I was ready to kill myself. But tehre was also something inside me that still wanted to hang on to life- how ever desperate it felt at that moment. I knew then that I was done.
In the course of the last 11 plus months, I have become sober, started therapy, started going to meetings and am back to university. At the beginning of the month, I will also be moving out of the place I am living because I have realized that the flatmates I have are not good company and into a little flat on my own, and I am so looking forward to this. The beginnnig was pretty rough, partly because it took me nearly 5 months from getting sober to get some outside help. Life isn't always perfect, but it was well worth it.
It was a Monday waking up completely hungovermiserable, depesssed and full of anxiety. The day before I had been driving from visiting family and I couldn't wait to get home so I could drink without anyone notocing. Drank a six pack at home plus some liquor.
Then ran out of it and decided to go to a bar. It was a binge like many others before- at that point alcohol wasn't numbing out anything anymore, it basically had stopped working. Little did i know at that point that much of what I was experiencing was cuased by alcohol itself. I was at a point where I thought that I was ready to kill myself. But tehre was also something inside me that still wanted to hang on to life- how ever desperate it felt at that moment. I knew then that I was done.
In the course of the last 11 plus months, I have become sober, started therapy, started going to meetings and am back to university. At the beginning of the month, I will also be moving out of the place I am living because I have realized that the flatmates I have are not good company and into a little flat on my own, and I am so looking forward to this. The beginnnig was pretty rough, partly because it took me nearly 5 months from getting sober to get some outside help. Life isn't always perfect, but it was well worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Atlanta Georgia
Posts: 46
May, 21, 2010 I drank about 20 or so coors and almost a handle of jack. Decide I was gonna show my neighbor my gun and as I was handing it to him I accidently shot through his apt. Cops come a bunch of drunks with guns, I get three tickets almost go to jail. Tell the detective after Im uncufed, I need am ambulance. Why? Im done, done with doing stupid things and feeling guilty due to my alcohol and drug addiction. Then I woke up the 22 in detox. This thurs. hopefully rehab for 30 days if they have room. Im actually gonna do all the steps this go around, take advice and surrender. I know now I cannot do it myself.
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