Statement_of_a_true_alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: My world
Posts: 379
Statement_of_a_true_alcoholic
I was advised that I should write this thread as it might help others as well as myself.
Those of you that know me, know that I've been a member of SR since September 09. I remained sober for 7 months and then relapsed. 'Big announcement'. Keeping low key since.
I've been fighting the fight of alcohol v sobriety for over three years now.
30 months of which I spent 'dry'.
Thinking back now, apart from the initial pink cloud, which was an amazing feeling, everything I did for my sobriety was half a...d.
4 days rehab (I mean pleeaase), the occasional meeting, few weeks of therapy, etc. etc.
The only thing I ever did whole heartily and where I gave it my all is drinking - 30 years of it.
Then I found SR and things were going well until my alcoholic mind, once again, convinced me that I couldn't deal with the stresses of life which we all have. Last week I reached a point where I was exhausted, physically and emotionally and I turned to another member of SR for help.
He (he knows who he is) has been wonderful and I can't thank him enough. When I first signed up, I actually put down the place where I live
(SSN on request
).
Now I am glad I did, because he lives not far from me and persuaded me to give AA another try. He recommended places and times and even agreed to
meet me at one.
I had nothing to lose, my way didn't work. We went to a meeting yesterday and before I even got a chance to meet him, I had a wonderful lady introduce herself to me, given me a free book on how to live sober, told me about her 26 years sober (wow) and when I asked about step 1 and that I, even when not drinking, felt that my life was still unmanagable, she said it's because I haven't changed. I'm still the same person that was drinking. I know it sounds silly, but a light came on. I thought my life had to change. Boy did I have that one wrong. It's me that needs changing.
Another lady gave me her phone number as a temporary sponsor.
I respect every religion and the people believing in it; however
my main concern was (still is a little) that I don't believe in any God (sorry shoot me, slap me on the head, I simply don't). When I mentioned this to the lady she burst into laughter and told me not to worry about it.
This morning I was actually sad that this place only holds a meeting once a week. I actually want to go to more.
I was dreading the moment when we all hold hands and say the Lord's prayer, but it was okay. I did what I promised myself to do - I kept an open mind and just felt the belonging, the people that suffer just like me.
I didn't say the prayer, but I felt the warmth from everybody and that was enough.
I guess there's still hope for me. I will keep you informed.
I apologize for the length of this thread.
Those of you that know me, know that I've been a member of SR since September 09. I remained sober for 7 months and then relapsed. 'Big announcement'. Keeping low key since.
I've been fighting the fight of alcohol v sobriety for over three years now.
30 months of which I spent 'dry'.
Thinking back now, apart from the initial pink cloud, which was an amazing feeling, everything I did for my sobriety was half a...d.
4 days rehab (I mean pleeaase), the occasional meeting, few weeks of therapy, etc. etc.
The only thing I ever did whole heartily and where I gave it my all is drinking - 30 years of it.
Then I found SR and things were going well until my alcoholic mind, once again, convinced me that I couldn't deal with the stresses of life which we all have. Last week I reached a point where I was exhausted, physically and emotionally and I turned to another member of SR for help.
He (he knows who he is) has been wonderful and I can't thank him enough. When I first signed up, I actually put down the place where I live
(SSN on request
). Now I am glad I did, because he lives not far from me and persuaded me to give AA another try. He recommended places and times and even agreed to
meet me at one.
I had nothing to lose, my way didn't work. We went to a meeting yesterday and before I even got a chance to meet him, I had a wonderful lady introduce herself to me, given me a free book on how to live sober, told me about her 26 years sober (wow) and when I asked about step 1 and that I, even when not drinking, felt that my life was still unmanagable, she said it's because I haven't changed. I'm still the same person that was drinking. I know it sounds silly, but a light came on. I thought my life had to change. Boy did I have that one wrong. It's me that needs changing.
Another lady gave me her phone number as a temporary sponsor.
I respect every religion and the people believing in it; however
my main concern was (still is a little) that I don't believe in any God (sorry shoot me, slap me on the head, I simply don't). When I mentioned this to the lady she burst into laughter and told me not to worry about it.
This morning I was actually sad that this place only holds a meeting once a week. I actually want to go to more.
I was dreading the moment when we all hold hands and say the Lord's prayer, but it was okay. I did what I promised myself to do - I kept an open mind and just felt the belonging, the people that suffer just like me.
I didn't say the prayer, but I felt the warmth from everybody and that was enough.
I guess there's still hope for me. I will keep you informed.
I apologize for the length of this thread.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Awesome and inspirational share.
And that's how this program works.
Just by sharing ur ESH, experiences,
strengths and hopes of what it was
like before during and after alcohol.
Hi im Sharon and Im an alcoholic.
By the grace of my HP and people
like u here in SR I havent found it
necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and u I am truely grateful.
This program is addicting as u
continue to give it away others
will pick it up and u stay sober
a day at a time.
And the cost for this recovery
program.
FREE...!
And that's how this program works.
Just by sharing ur ESH, experiences,
strengths and hopes of what it was
like before during and after alcohol.
Hi im Sharon and Im an alcoholic.
By the grace of my HP and people
like u here in SR I havent found it
necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and u I am truely grateful.
This program is addicting as u
continue to give it away others
will pick it up and u stay sober
a day at a time.
And the cost for this recovery
program.
FREE...!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Huggs Saphie.....Thank you for sharing. You are so right about us needing to change. That was my problem when I relapsed. Hit a rough patch in life and my alcoholic mind went right back to the bottle for comfort. Since then I am learning day by day a little more about me and my life and have been making changes all around for the better.
Keep posting!!!
Keep posting!!!
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Viva AA!
I'm sober now for almost 150 days and that's mainly b/c of the program of AA. I know there are other ways to get sober, but for me, I'm glad AA works.
Now, the question is - how "well" do you wanna get?
I'm sober now for almost 150 days and that's mainly b/c of the program of AA. I know there are other ways to get sober, but for me, I'm glad AA works.
Now, the question is - how "well" do you wanna get?
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
Thanks that is helpful I am back on day 1 here, triend NA, didnt work out too well so I am planning on my first AA meeting tonight.
This post is inspiring and SEALED that decision for me that I AM going!
<3 Dream
This post is inspiring and SEALED that decision for me that I AM going!
<3 Dream
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
I know it sounds silly, but a light came on.
Same happened to me after years of chronic alcoholism and many many "attempts at fighting the good fight" to no avail.
some seem to have the ability to put the plug in the jug and everything seems to fall into place.
well with me things seemed to get worse..........my mind was tortured by a crazy obssession....i just couldnt seem to fit into the world...and the world was out to make my life a misery.
like you i was approached by someone at an AA meeting....id been to AA but still couldnt stay sober even when i did hundreds of meetings.
this "crazy" old man said i could recover if i had the passion to work for it.
he said i was sick......and he said he knew how i felt.
well at this point life was unbearable.....id come close to ending my life.
i knew i would drink again.......and felt i had no choice....
i couldnt do this to my loved ones again and it seemed easier to put myself out of my own misery.
so i did the work.......i worked through the 12 steps with that crazy old man.
not easy.........bloody uncomfortable at times.
lots of tantrums.......lots of tears......
reading through the big book........i knew.......here was a bunch of drunks that knew what they were talking about.
and they had recovered........so maybe i could.
guess what.....this old skid row drunk never drank again........life took on a new meaning.......i began to fit into my own skin........and my perception of the world and everything in it changed......
i found out latter that that crazy old man was 20 something years sober.
dive into the suggested program of action in the form of twelve step.....what you got to loose.
id be interested to hear how you get on.........
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Sounds perfect, Saphie. I'm glad you were able to make a new start.
Absolutely correct. I've posted this many times before, that I came to AA as a staunch atheist who thought the idea of a higher power was a crutch for weak minded people.
The people I met who were living the solution offered in AA assured me that if I followed the directions, I would have a spiritual awakening and I would recover from alcoholism. They showed me the precise directions that they, themselves, followed.
They stressed open-mindedness and doing the actions laid out in the Big Book. I couldn't get my head wrapped around that Step 2 'came to believe' idea, but what was I to do? I was hopeless, and here were these people who were just like me, but they were sober and seemed pretty happy about it.
We looked carefully at what the essential requirements were on pg 47. Take a peek at that middle paragraph. It has been repeatedly proven among us.
Originally Posted by Saphie 
When I mentioned this to the lady she burst into laughter and told me not to worry about it.
The people I met who were living the solution offered in AA assured me that if I followed the directions, I would have a spiritual awakening and I would recover from alcoholism. They showed me the precise directions that they, themselves, followed.
They stressed open-mindedness and doing the actions laid out in the Big Book. I couldn't get my head wrapped around that Step 2 'came to believe' idea, but what was I to do? I was hopeless, and here were these people who were just like me, but they were sober and seemed pretty happy about it.
We looked carefully at what the essential requirements were on pg 47. Take a peek at that middle paragraph. It has been repeatedly proven among us.
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