umpteenth attempt to quit
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hey there brit,glad you took a step and came to sr looking for support.im a york girl myself.
im with a few others on this one about AA.i tried many times too to stop on my own,it wasnt stopping the that was the problem until the end,it was staying stopped,and then i just couldnt stop at all.
i got to AA after few false starts again at the begining of last year,there really is a solution to your dilemma,i and many thousands of others are walking,breathing proof of this.i never think of drink anymore and the place that you are in right now i could almost feel it,that used to be me.
not today.i have been shown a way of living where it is not only no longer necessary to drink but is infinately better than i could have ever imagined.i have peace and serenity,contentment.
have you thought about giving AA a try? what have you got to loose?
keep us posted.
im with a few others on this one about AA.i tried many times too to stop on my own,it wasnt stopping the that was the problem until the end,it was staying stopped,and then i just couldnt stop at all.
i got to AA after few false starts again at the begining of last year,there really is a solution to your dilemma,i and many thousands of others are walking,breathing proof of this.i never think of drink anymore and the place that you are in right now i could almost feel it,that used to be me.
not today.i have been shown a way of living where it is not only no longer necessary to drink but is infinately better than i could have ever imagined.i have peace and serenity,contentment.
have you thought about giving AA a try? what have you got to loose?
keep us posted.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome back brit.
Looking back at your first post you have some pretty good reasons for quitting.
Obviously doing it on your own is not getting you where you want to be.
I really encourage you to look at other options now - keep psoting here more often but also look at things like AA or some other recovery programme, counselling, inpatient or outpatient rehab...
here's some links you may like to read and perhaps follow up
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
You know it as well as I do - you deserve better and so does you son and family Brit.
D
Looking back at your first post you have some pretty good reasons for quitting.
Obviously doing it on your own is not getting you where you want to be.
I really encourage you to look at other options now - keep psoting here more often but also look at things like AA or some other recovery programme, counselling, inpatient or outpatient rehab...
here's some links you may like to read and perhaps follow up
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
You know it as well as I do - you deserve better and so does you son and family Brit.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Edmonton, Alberta.
Posts: 398
Hi Brit,
I'm about the same age as you are, in Liverpool and feeling your pain.
I've been trying to quit for years - even had some long periods of abstinence - and have finally come to believe that I will never get sober alone. Nothing, NOTHING I tried gave me any real sobriety or any peace in my head.
Can you get to an AA meeting? With all my heart I hope you do. I'm still very much a newcomer to it but have now met dozens of people with darker stories than yours or mine returned to health and happiness - IT WORKS.
I'm about the same age as you are, in Liverpool and feeling your pain.
I've been trying to quit for years - even had some long periods of abstinence - and have finally come to believe that I will never get sober alone. Nothing, NOTHING I tried gave me any real sobriety or any peace in my head.
Can you get to an AA meeting? With all my heart I hope you do. I'm still very much a newcomer to it but have now met dozens of people with darker stories than yours or mine returned to health and happiness - IT WORKS.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Leeds
Posts: 15
Hi guys.... thanks for all being so supportive. I have tried AA before and I felt mixed feelings towards it... it really helped with my drinking i must admit, but there were people there with drug issues like mine and i just ended up getting wasted with them, which was bad in two ways... I cant take drugs any more, and I felt bad about spoiling other peoples recovery.
I stopped taking class A drugs a few years ago, and now I kind of live in a bubble surrounded by no drugs, and i would like to stay there. Alcohol WAS the least of my problems back then though, but its rapidly escalating to the top of my list.
I threw away some beer last night and have vowed to stay quit... I will make you all a deal and stay in contact and if I mess up this time (which i wont, Im determined) I will look at going back to AA. My analyst told me my weed smoking and drinking are affecting my therapy yesterday, and I cant afford to waste any time there, so ive go to do it.
Im also worried about my girlfriend thinking im bad or a loser for having to go to meetings....i dont know, i feel pretty lost actually. Maybe im just making excuses to avoid stopping??
I stopped taking class A drugs a few years ago, and now I kind of live in a bubble surrounded by no drugs, and i would like to stay there. Alcohol WAS the least of my problems back then though, but its rapidly escalating to the top of my list.
I threw away some beer last night and have vowed to stay quit... I will make you all a deal and stay in contact and if I mess up this time (which i wont, Im determined) I will look at going back to AA. My analyst told me my weed smoking and drinking are affecting my therapy yesterday, and I cant afford to waste any time there, so ive go to do it.
Im also worried about my girlfriend thinking im bad or a loser for having to go to meetings....i dont know, i feel pretty lost actually. Maybe im just making excuses to avoid stopping??
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
if you are willing to do anything to quit that dosnt make you a loser.
usually if i have to ask myself questions like the one you asked at the end of your post then the answer is yes.
try lots of different meetings and find one that sticks to AA's primary purpose.which is to help alcoholics to achieve sobriety,im sure they are out there.
usually if i have to ask myself questions like the one you asked at the end of your post then the answer is yes.
try lots of different meetings and find one that sticks to AA's primary purpose.which is to help alcoholics to achieve sobriety,im sure they are out there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Leeds
Posts: 15
Thanks Charmie. I LIKED the meetings, I dunno... Im just not good with 'nice' people... and everyone was so 'nice'... it makes me feel like im bad or something, being with nice people. Ive spent so much of my life being bad. If that makes sense??
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
thats what i thought too brit,i believed i was quiet evil.since getting sober and getting on the 12 step recovery programme i have learned i was not a bad person but just gravley ill.sounds like a cop out eh? and oh so easy for someone whos been sober a few months to say............its the truth.i did some things i thought i would take to the grave with me brit.but i am free of them today,i walk this earth a free woman and can look people in the eye.i truely am someone today that i never thought i could be.
you can read my story and many others too in the stories of recovery section,there are miracles of recovery all around.........do you want to be one?
you can read my story and many others too in the stories of recovery section,there are miracles of recovery all around.........do you want to be one?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I used to have a lot of self loathing and feelings of worthlessness too Brit.
It was quite amazing to me to find how much that was tied in to my drinking, and just how much my perceptions shifted when I stopped drinking
D
It was quite amazing to me to find how much that was tied in to my drinking, and just how much my perceptions shifted when I stopped drinking
D
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Earth
Posts: 94
Originally Posted by Impurrfect 
(((Brit28))) - welcome to SR!!
Though a precious 3-month old baby is a good reason to want to stay alive, getting sober needs to be something you want to do for you.
Amy
Though a precious 3-month old baby is a good reason to want to stay alive, getting sober needs to be something you want to do for you.
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Leeds
Posts: 15
Hi Guys!!!!
Hope youre all doing well.
Well, Im four days into my millionth quit, and Im feeling like this is the one. Im not going to drink over the weekend, no way, and if i can do the first weekend im home free.
I just know im doing with that evil nasty stuff now. I missed my therapy Monday because I got so wasted Sunday last week, which I cant afford to do... so thats given me a good boost.
Also getting bad pains in my neck and jaw, which i always do when im hitting it heavy, so its deof time to quit....
Speak to you all next week.
Lots of love.
Ben X
Hope youre all doing well.
Well, Im four days into my millionth quit, and Im feeling like this is the one. Im not going to drink over the weekend, no way, and if i can do the first weekend im home free.
I just know im doing with that evil nasty stuff now. I missed my therapy Monday because I got so wasted Sunday last week, which I cant afford to do... so thats given me a good boost.
Also getting bad pains in my neck and jaw, which i always do when im hitting it heavy, so its deof time to quit....
Speak to you all next week.
Lots of love.
Ben X
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Leeds
Posts: 15
Hi D
Yeah I see docs about all of it...without explicitly telling them how much i drink, but ive had my heart tested and its ok, as is my cholesterol. My blood pressure is bad, thats the only thing.
The pains in my neck/jaw are an enigma to me and the docs, except for the saliva glands under my jaw get really big when im drinking... they get very tender and the pain radiates out from there. This is usually what makes me quit (and usually what leads me in to drinking again, when it feels better - thats a big part of my cycle).
Well, its saturda night and i havent drunk...its great. I just fed my baby, and im sat looking at her with food down her front looking beautiful.
I actually feel positive. (few sweats but nothing major!!)
B x
Yeah I see docs about all of it...without explicitly telling them how much i drink, but ive had my heart tested and its ok, as is my cholesterol. My blood pressure is bad, thats the only thing.
The pains in my neck/jaw are an enigma to me and the docs, except for the saliva glands under my jaw get really big when im drinking... they get very tender and the pain radiates out from there. This is usually what makes me quit (and usually what leads me in to drinking again, when it feels better - thats a big part of my cycle).
Well, its saturda night and i havent drunk...its great. I just fed my baby, and im sat looking at her with food down her front looking beautiful.
I actually feel positive. (few sweats but nothing major!!)
B x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
That jaw thing sounds painful....I grind my teeth and the pain sometimes is pretty full on.
I think it's pretty important to be honest with our doctors - if they don't know the full story, they can't do much to help, ya know?
I'm glad you're having a good sober Saturday night tho, Brit
Enjoy it!
D
I think it's pretty important to be honest with our doctors - if they don't know the full story, they can't do much to help, ya know?
I'm glad you're having a good sober Saturday night tho, Brit
Enjoy it!
D
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