Happier

I have never sought professional help, nor do I attend group meetings but I've often heard that it is heathy to truly understand what causes and an alcoholic to drink. I am talking about getting to the real, deep rooted cause.

I've asked this of myself and honestly can not put my finger on it. I had a few of the common culprits such as bad things happen as a kid and a few strained family relationships but honestly none that seem to bother me these days. Closest thing I've got is because I liked the way over-indulging made me feel and maybe I was just "bored" ?? ...but then i must ask "why did I like it and why was I bored?"

I know nobody can answer this for me but I wonder if hearing other people's reasons may help me hone in on my own.

Thanks for any thoughts you may have.

24hrsAday

i Drank Because i Loved The Buzz For a Long Time.. Then i Got To The Point i Had To Drink.. i No Longer Loved it Then..

yeahgr8

I always used to ask that!

I have had to and continue to do a lot of work on myself by getting help...i always guessed that if it hand been drink it would have been something else...it doesn't necessarily have to be drink or ddrugs or gambling...people have addictive behaviour with relationships, careers, hobbies etc and live perfectly ****** up lives without drinking ever being problem...

On surface it seems to be a mystery why people exhibit this behaviour, it is only scratchingaway the surface and finding out what is really going on when i started to make some headway. One thing i am certain of though and that is i was the last person who could figure out why i did what i did and all the self analysis i did didn't help one bit...considering i was the one living in denial and rationalising my behaviour forso long this is obvious to all except the addict drunk or dry...

ferrari355

For me, the single biggest reason that I drink is basic straightforward loneliness, lack of a girlfriend and lack of female company. I am a straight male of 36 years of age and have never been in a proper relationship with a woman. I had a great upbringing, excellent academic record, good parents and no particular issues in my childhood or teenage years. I didn't grow up in an alcoholic household. My parents drank, but never to excess. So, it's 'cos I'm lonely, basically. I drink because I am in a constant state of pain and longing, quite literally.

I think I am probably in a minority on this one as from reading the threads on here most people are in relationships. Lack of a relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend is not the reason why they drink; in some cases it causes them to lose great relationships, but it's not ultimately why they drink, from my perspective.

Draciack

At first, I drank because it transformed me. I was a shy kid and the alcohol allowed me to be whoever I wanted and acted in ways I never would while sober. Then I drank to manage negative emotions like anger and depression. I drank because it made me feel more connected to others. I drank because that's what everyone did at parties.

Then, I drank because it was part of my identity. I was the "whiskey drinker" and alcohol was an integral part of my bar-hopping, risk-taking lifestyle. Or so I thought. Then I drank because I knew no other way to function. And that's when the wheels really came off the wagon.

But, to be fair, I know moderate drinkers who espouse the same things and just don't become alcoholics. In the end, I became an alcoholic because I could never moderate my drinking. The progression from heavy drinking to alcoholism, for me, was inevitable. I hope that helps. Really, it's amazing how quickly and insidiously alcohol wound its way into my life.

Dee74

Hi Happier

I do think it's important to look at underlying reasons and why we started to drink the way we did in the first place - doing that gave me some insight into some life long problems....

but I also know I *became* an alcoholic - so dealing with just the underlying problems would be dealing with only half the problem for me.

In my opinion, and in my experience, both have to be tackled if we want to be sober and happy.

D

Happier

Very insightful responses. Thanks so much. I can relate to many of these comments and all got me thinking about things. Yeargr8 was correct.....it is good to get help and insight from others!
Thanks again.

Timebuster

Why Did I Drink?

That’s an easy question.

Because I was Restless irritable and discontent.

Restless: I spent restless nights worrying.

Irritable: I was easily annoyed or exasperated.

Discontent: Feeling of unhappiness and dissatisfaction in my life.

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of long term recovery.

Drinking was never my problem, I was the problem.

Peace and love
TB

Boleo

I was uncomfortable in my own skin before I picked up my first drink. I was uncomfortable in my own skin when I put it down 30+ years later. Alcohol is what made me feel comfortable 4 to 16 hours each day in between.

Alcohol was my solution for most of that time and did not become my problem till it started making me black-out before it gave me the comfort that I was looking for.

What keeps me sober today is what allows me to be comfortable in my own skin again.
Namely spiritual principles that give me the peace of mind, joy and sense of purpose that I was always looking for.

NewBeginning010

Because it made me feel good and allowed me to escape everything that was bothering me... temporarily that is.

least

I drank to medicate depression and anxiety, which of course only made it worse.

Snarf

I drank because I am an alcoholic.

Nevertheless

In my opinion, if you want to figure out why you drink. Work the 4th step of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have been working the 4th step for a long long time. By working it I don't mean just read it. You have to live it.

The reason I drank was (you guessed it) I'm an alcoholic. I am an alcoholic because I got hooked.
How did I get hooked? It really doesn't matter.
Bottom line is the thing that matters is why can't we stop.
I found the reasons I couldn't stop in the 4 th step. Resentment and being self centered are a few of the things wrong with me. I can look back at a lot of my old friends that are alkies. I can see the same things in them looking back.
For example, Getting bent out of shape because your neighbor has kooler stuff than you do, or it seems he never has to try very hard to succeed at life makes you say whats the use, Ill just get drunk and forget about it. Poor me.
Yes I really believe the meat and potatoes of AA and understanding why we drink is in the 4th step.
Fred

Omega10

I drank because I was addicted to the escape that it gave me. While drunk, I did not care about anything and I had an excuse not to care. The escape made me numb so I did not have to feel anything, worry about anything, etc.

That being said, the escape I was getting from alcohol was only temporary and did not make my problems go away. In fact, the alcohol intensified my problems and added more on top of them. I have learned that the best way to escape my problems is to attack them head on, work through them, resolve them, and leave them in the past.

traderjane

This is an important topic. For me, understanding WHY I drank is an important part of the answer to stopping the drinking. There were hidden factors that I was even unaware of ... feelings I was trying to cover up .... that I have been slowly able to uncover with being sober for periods of time. Recognizing them is like unlocking part of the mystery for me. Facing those feelings, no matter how uncomfortable and bad it feels, has been really important.

I also agree with Dee that the second half of the equation is the 'alcoholism' part. Recognizing that side of my personality -- the thrill seeker, the partier, the person who always just wants to feel a little better -- has been important, too. And there are some genetic pre-dispositions toward alcoholism for me, and that is important for me to remember.

Good topic.

Anna

For me, drinking began in my mid-forties, in an attempt to self-medicate physical pain and depression, as well as emotional pain. I was a super control-freak, an absolutely exhausting job, which fell apart completely when my kids hit their teen years.

It was the realization that I was an alcoholic that enabled me to be able to begin to look at the truths and lies in my life.

Kmber2010

For me.....my occasional social drinking turned to full blown coping with depression and pain when I had a pregnancy loss at 27. That was the start of it. I wanted to die. I couldn't deal with anything at that point and I never sought counseling....hid my pain and basically was on self-destruct. That was the trigger or start or whatever it can be called. I drank to cope, to live, to forget. With the drinking I also became numb to things and didn't think clearly. I stayed in a mentally abusive marriage, I allowed some negative folks in my life and I became extremely down on myself and felt worthless. Pretty sad egh?

It is good to understand why we drank but as others have said.....to also understand that we are alcoholic. I am learning how to live life and cope with the ups/downs in a positive way but I also understand that I am alcoholic.

There is nothing great or wonderful in my life or any change I can make within or around me that will change the fact that I am an alcoholic. I am in recovery but there is no moderating, controlling or even thinking I can relax with a cool one. This is something I didn't fully understand with my first go a sobriety. Now I get it.

I am a slave to alcohol sadly and all it will take is just 1 drink to bring me right back to the hell I was in. I can't fix the addictive mind but being ever aware and knowing that I can't drink again keeps me sober.

All the best

Rusty Zipper

for me,

i liked the way it made me feel,

and not feel...

the yin and yang of the bottle.

great replys here!

May the FOURTH be with you

tallcactus

[QUOTE for me,

i liked the way it made me feel,

and not feel...
QUOTE]
Excately!

Happier

Thanks to all. This has been helpful. I appreciate the time and thought that everyone put into it.