really need to get this out
HeavyHeart
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Houston, Tx
Posts: 2
really need to get this out
Didn't really know where or how to start so I came here. I have so much to say but not quit sure how to say it. I've come across this site a few times and I always said, "I dont need help because nothing is wrong with me". Well I LIED!! I've read a lot of sites where people say their's no such thing as being addicted to benadryl so I believed it. A part of me believed it but the biggest part always knew the truth. I started off taking tylenol pm's (4-6) a nite, then I would take excedrin pm(same amount), then I would take benadryl(same amount). I would always switch. For about the past couple of months I've been taking benadryl only (sometimes 2 in the morning and 5-6 at nite). It's been my way of getting some sleep but a lot of times i take them and feel sleepy but dont fall asleep. I want so badly to stop. I want a life and although I love my family I dont feel like i have one. I'm a stay at home mom and spend a lot of time alone at home. My son is at school all day, my fiancee works from 3pm-5am 6 days a week. When he's home he's asleep. I feel lonely because I want his time, I need his time but he's not available. No one has any idea about my addiction. I dont have friends and thats so hurtful for me to say. I shut myself off from people and last nite I had a conversation with my son because I had to come to terms with the way that I am. I dont want him to close himself off from the world. I want him to make those beautiful lasting friendships that I never did. My spirit just feels so broken. Ive held so much in for so many years and lately all I do is cry to myself. I dont know what happened to me. My life was not meant to be this way. I'm afraid to tell my family about my addiction. I live literally 1 street over from my mother but I hardly ever visit her. I dont want to sound harsh because I love my mother dearly and I'd do anything for her but I've been afraid for so long that I will be just like her. My mom has an alcohol addiction and I can remember being 8 years old calling the AA numbers from the tv and asking someone to come pick up my mom. I'm so afraid. I'm afraid of the withdrawal symptoms, I'm afraid of someone finding out, I'm afraid one day I wont open my eyes. I havent taken any benadryl in a little over 24 hrs. I do have 6 pills on my dresser and I really dont want this addiction to beat me. I'm thinking maybe I can taper off this because everytime i say im completely done i start to get sick and i run to the store and buy 2 more boxes. I've cried and rambled on long enough. I do appreciate any and everyone that reads this. I dont want to give up.
SoAshamed
SoAshamed
Welcome--Glad you are here. I can relate to what you shared. I can't take Benadryl or Tylenol PM anymore cause I used to abuse them both. I am also an alcoholic in recovery. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone. This is a great place for support. Keep reaching out.We do recover.
HeavyHeart
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Houston, Tx
Posts: 2
Welcome--Glad you are here. I can relate to what you shared. I can't take Benadryl or Tylenol PM anymore cause I used to abuse them both. I am also an alcoholic in recovery. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone. This is a great place for support. Keep reaching out.We do recover.
Speaking out about what you are struggling with can be a freeing experience. Knowing I wasn't alone in my struggle also helped me. If you want to, there are a few of us in chat right now talking about our recovery experience. You are welcome to join us--if you would like to. Also, thank you for your kind words and the friendship request.
SoAshamed, your post made me go look up "benadryl addiction" because it was new to me and I found this thread from a couple of years ago on SR:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ss-nights.html
Looks like plenty of other people have had similar experiences with benadryl.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ss-nights.html
Looks like plenty of other people have had similar experiences with benadryl.
Hi there,
When I arrived here only six days ago I cried too with my first response. You made the first step. Good for you.
Go to your doctor or perhaps a more anonymous crisis team you can call if you don't want your GP to know.
I told mine but I could understand the need for more distance.
I get from your story that you feel isolated that you are scared to be "found out." That is a horrible position to feel yourself to be in and you are the best judge of who you can talk too.
So that would be a way to go. No matter what, you need to reach out to someone closer to home who can help you with the physical part. To help you get passed the actual addiction.
In the mean time stick around and talk to us, we'll be there.
When I arrived here only six days ago I cried too with my first response. You made the first step. Good for you.
Go to your doctor or perhaps a more anonymous crisis team you can call if you don't want your GP to know.
I told mine but I could understand the need for more distance.
I get from your story that you feel isolated that you are scared to be "found out." That is a horrible position to feel yourself to be in and you are the best judge of who you can talk too.
So that would be a way to go. No matter what, you need to reach out to someone closer to home who can help you with the physical part. To help you get passed the actual addiction.
In the mean time stick around and talk to us, we'll be there.
Welcome! This is a great place to find understanding and support. As far as doctors go, look up alcoholism/addiction in the yellow pages as there are doctors who specialize in this kind of thing. There are safer things to take for insomnia (I take Trazadone) and you probably need a doc to work with you on finding the right thing. Also, depression is often a side effect of addiction.
You took the first step by admitting you have a problem and that's not easy, so kudos!
You took the first step by admitting you have a problem and that's not easy, so kudos!
Welcome, SA ~
SR is the best recovery site that I've found where unseen friends from all over the world come together to comfort and support each other and share our struggles, triumphs and tribulations.
Despite us all having met by means of a monitor, keyboard and the internet, what we communicate extends beyond technology and comes purely from our hearts and heads and humanness.
Glad you're here. Keep reading and posting. It really helps to open up and know that you're not alone and that others have been where you're at.
SR is the best recovery site that I've found where unseen friends from all over the world come together to comfort and support each other and share our struggles, triumphs and tribulations.
Despite us all having met by means of a monitor, keyboard and the internet, what we communicate extends beyond technology and comes purely from our hearts and heads and humanness.
Glad you're here. Keep reading and posting. It really helps to open up and know that you're not alone and that others have been where you're at.
SoAshamed - I felt the same way when I found SR. I wasn't alone anymore. That meant everything to me, since I'd isolated myself from the world just like you've been doing.
I used alcohol to feel calm and face the world. What a joke. In the end, it had the opposite effect. I was a slave to it, drinking round the clock and never enjoying it or feeling good. I was just afraid to find out what would happen if I stopped. I don't know why, since I was so miserable. I stopped because I felt like you do - afraid I wouldn't open my eyes one morning. Alcohol was sucking the life out of me, and I couldn't keep coming back from the binges.
You obviously want to be clearheaded so you can enjoy your family - you're tired of phoning it in. You also need to figure out how to confront and handle some of the demons that haunt you. Nothing gets accomplished when we're numb. You have a strong desire to get well, and you can! We're so glad you are here with us. This place works magic.
I used alcohol to feel calm and face the world. What a joke. In the end, it had the opposite effect. I was a slave to it, drinking round the clock and never enjoying it or feeling good. I was just afraid to find out what would happen if I stopped. I don't know why, since I was so miserable. I stopped because I felt like you do - afraid I wouldn't open my eyes one morning. Alcohol was sucking the life out of me, and I couldn't keep coming back from the binges.
You obviously want to be clearheaded so you can enjoy your family - you're tired of phoning it in. You also need to figure out how to confront and handle some of the demons that haunt you. Nothing gets accomplished when we're numb. You have a strong desire to get well, and you can! We're so glad you are here with us. This place works magic.
Hi soashamed
Welcome
I've read many posts here over the years from people suffering with benadryl addiction, so you're not alone by any means.
I hope you do see your doctor - and keep posting here
D
Welcome
I've read many posts here over the years from people suffering with benadryl addiction, so you're not alone by any means.
I hope you do see your doctor - and keep posting here
D
Hello SA
Humblebee said it... you're welcome here and you have taken an important step toward recovery! Please don't be nervous about approaching a doctor. Addiction specialists are configured to deal precisely with the problems many of us on this board have, and actually seeing one is half the battle won. Wishing you the best for the road ahead.
Humblebee said it... you're welcome here and you have taken an important step toward recovery! Please don't be nervous about approaching a doctor. Addiction specialists are configured to deal precisely with the problems many of us on this board have, and actually seeing one is half the battle won. Wishing you the best for the road ahead.
My mom has an alcohol addiction and I can remember being 8 years old calling the AA numbers from the tv and asking someone to come pick up my mom.
This is incredible.
You have identified a problem, and you want to do something about it (recovery).
I believe you have the insight and the inner strength to do this, SoAsh.
As a recovering alcoholic, and the ACOA, I admire your initiative at such a young age, it would have never occured to me to get help for my father (alcoholic).
Kudos again.
Beth
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Earth
Posts: 94
Hi SoAshamed,
It takes a lot of bravery to come here. i know, I am only 16 1/2 days clean. There are ways to learn how to sleep without medication. You should go to your doctor ASAP. Fortunately, unlike alcohol and benzodiazepines, the withdrawal will be mostly psychological and not life threatening. The sleep problem won't be as easy to fix but a doctor can help you eventually become able to sleep without any chemicals over time. There are various alternatives, if taken as prescribed, that are non-addictive and more effective. If you work with a physician and possibly a counselor, you will be able to beat this. As with all addictions, it really isn't the substance that's the problem, its what is going on inside of us that is leading us to rely on substances. Hang in there and be hopeful. We are all at various levels of recovery here and need a lot of support. You have come to right place.
It takes a lot of bravery to come here. i know, I am only 16 1/2 days clean. There are ways to learn how to sleep without medication. You should go to your doctor ASAP. Fortunately, unlike alcohol and benzodiazepines, the withdrawal will be mostly psychological and not life threatening. The sleep problem won't be as easy to fix but a doctor can help you eventually become able to sleep without any chemicals over time. There are various alternatives, if taken as prescribed, that are non-addictive and more effective. If you work with a physician and possibly a counselor, you will be able to beat this. As with all addictions, it really isn't the substance that's the problem, its what is going on inside of us that is leading us to rely on substances. Hang in there and be hopeful. We are all at various levels of recovery here and need a lot of support. You have come to right place.
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