MarkNS

To those who are now sober, what have been the greatest benefits to you?

Perhaps my biggest problem is that a lot of the time my drinking really doesn't seem to negatively affect me. I don't really remember what being sober is like, so I'm not sure how this could positively influence my life.

tellus

The greatest benefit? I have my mind back. I felt so stupid when I was drinking, and even so I didn't realize the extent to which it dulled my brain. Within a few weeks of quitting, I could feel the neurons firing again. After a year, I felt like I had my own brain back.

Not to mention, I've re-established a good relationship with my parents, people find me trustworthy again, I'm able to maintain social contacts (and people want to maintain contact with me!), I feel healthy again, my skin and hair look better, the constant feeling of shame is gone... Ad infinitum.

Try it out! Even if you decide not to stick with sobriety, there's nothing to lose in trying it for a couple weeks.

Dee74

I'm the man I always wanted to be, or at least in sight of that.

D

ConfusedNC

1) Happier (alcohol is a depressant), 2) Mentally quicker (as Tellus mentioned), 3) Have more money in my pocket, 4) less numb to the world, and 5) feel physically less crappy. All in all, a good tradeoff. And I know I'm not missing out on anything from drinking - I've been there and that thrill is gone.

Another piece of my experience I would share is that I didn't think alcohol was negatively affecting me, but it was and I didn't realize it until after I stopped. Physically it takes a toll, it doesn't matter who you are, odds are that it catches up with you. Why take a chance?

Life's better being sober - come on over, it's fun!

ConfusedNC

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Draciack

As Tellus and ConfusedNC specifically mentioned, clarity of mind is an absolutely wonderful thing. I never realized how much alcohol clouded my head until I quit (and I'm only 15 days in, at that). But the real big thing is:

Gaining back self-respect.

I lost that a long time ago. It feels good to feel good about myself again

preta

Biggest benefit: I get to continue breathing...

yeahgr8

not insane anymore, which every alcoholic is before getting recovered!

AtlasMcGee

Not allowing the use of a substance to encourage settling or simply going through the motions, but rather taking initiative and allowing ambition to resurface.

Being a person/meeting people who do not have to be intoxicated in order to have a good time/enjoy life.

Discovering/creating YOUrself.

Waking up &: not being hungover, knowing where I'm at, not regretting things I did or didn't do or the things I said or didn't say, feeling well rested, having more energy, remembering what happened the night before.

Since alcohol is a depressant, it offered me a more introverted point of view & I'd become stuck in my chaotic, spiral, time wasted, intoxicated mind. Now (since sober) I find myself reaching out a lot more & actively wanting to be a part of something bigger than myself (this want has always been there, but dormant & with a tomorrow point of view).

That was existing, I feel like I'm living now.

Dream2bClean

Its only been a week for me but the changes are amazing and my husband was just telling me about them an to hear it from antoher person the person (who at 33) I have been with for 15 years and married fo r 7, ovbviously knows me the best and my drinking had lead me to some hard hard drugs but as far as the alcohol he told me (we went to a fair with out 3 and 1/2 year old daughter tonight her firsst and my first in a VERY ling time) he told me how scared he has been for me, he told me he didnt know if he woudl ever see me smiling again the way I was tonight, how carefree I seemed and wasnt always going to get anyoeht $5-8 beer (they did not have alcohol I did have to check that as soon as I arrive and once I saw they didnt have it, it didnt cross my mind again) I was for the first time in a very long time at a tiny little fair in the parking lot of a local K-mart outlet, I was truly happy, I was seeking out my next beer, i was in he moment with m husband and daughter.
We made abudget and stuck to it when I was drinking there was no budget tit was lets just have the bes time of our lives and delth woth the bills later, which they wouold not have neem able to be dealtwith b.c we easily wouold have spen $100.00 at that tiny little fair tonight and if they had beer...WELL OVER THAT.
I have re-enrolled for school in the fall and I have ook off the last 2 semestes b.c of a job loss I blame on the economy but I really know why, I got another job since then, the hours for a :mommy: were REALLY not working, but I would have worked then so as not to lose my home but a couple of weeks ago I had drugs and syringes burning a whole in my hiding place of the moment and just decided not to o back so I am job less again which is supposedly (when I was out of work dfor 1 and 1/2 years) "becasue of the economy, and lying to my hsband about intervies I did get telling them they had decided to change it to a phone interview instead soi I could stay drunk and not have to hshower an put on a suit. He loveds me so much he trusted me, he no longer trusts me like that, biut bing sobe rfor the past week I can see in his eye I am gaining it back, it is goin to take a loooonnggg time to get it back once I came clean to him about EVERYTHING I did to him during my frinking and drugging and bing lead to a nearly suicidal depressionand then duh drinking alcohol all day which is a depressant.
I was quickly killing myselg in the end and today just a week later I was truly happy and I have my family back and I am there with them and I want to be and I know I am a good mother (now) luckily never got too bad when it came to her as far as hygeine, feeding, general care etc, I still did all that but it was more of a chore and I did love her, but now I am so ******* in love with this little irl and my husband and now sober I want to marry him again and I want my daighter to be so lucky as I was not to never see me as drunk as I saw my mother everyday and in the end having my mother deciding to leave my father b.c he decided to stop drinking, and he asked her what she wanted to do and she left to drink, and the cycle goes so far back for us Irish McGuires, but I am not a McGuire anymore, and I will be OK I hgave a new life a wnderful daugher and husband and i CAN do ANYTHING and am ready for it!!!!!!
Its going to be really f ing hard, but I am so up for the challenge, so vring it on I am going to keep rmembering this evening and the looks on my husbands daughters faces as i look back to my daughter riding her first, me riding a caroudel with her fir the first time with my hand on he rback and she wasnt scared she was 100% happy and OK b/c I was there, she would have been that hapy before but I would have been drunk b.c even if they didnt sell it there I would have arrived drunk and if I wanted more I would have manipulated my poor loving husband to bringing me back to the house to dring mor eand then go back and they wer eonly open a hour more one their last dy when we ot rhere so I would have left with daughter in tow, a pocketful of ride tickets, wouldnt allow any picturs of my to be raken b.c I felt so unhappy with myself an tongiht there was lots oif hugs isses and hand holding and genune unsoliceted love!!!!
Thats just whats happengnig to me because iI am no longe drinking and, I have God looking over me and on my dise and SR to come hime to so that I can fill everyonein on my day and hopefully send some words of these early days and my WD ecperience to other that I was suffering right in their shows just a few dayy ago.
Love you lov eyou love you SR and God and my family and Mark I hope you are able to find a plan to stay happy and sober, and you will atay just as sober and happy about this 5 days, as you as today, and be able to set up the support you need b/c its out there and youts for the takimg.
Please get that hep and support and let us know how ir goes were pulling for you and are here for you@ <3 Dream

Peter G

It's pretty simple for me really. It allows me to participate in life, as opposed to sitting around waiting to die.

Oh, and once I had a few sober days and looked back on my drunk life, I could easily see that most (if not all) negative experiences that happened in my life are a direct result of my progressive abuse of alcohol. You'll never gain that perspective while still under the influence.

Toronto68

Mark, some of the benefits come on their own and some of them won't be felt without putting effort into them. For example, I am still miserable sometimes, but then I remind myself that I have neglected one of the best practices that I put together for myself, like walking or not eating junk.

If you can't put together a list of differences, then maybe you have a numbness. Have you thought back on what got you into this site in the first place? What were you thinking then? There must be positive and negative ideas behind that.

Cathy31

I could not have put it better myself.

porkchopped

MarkNS - this is a great question. I have kept coming back to it and have given it some real thought - as I am very new to sobriety myself. It is kind of hard to articulate, but I'll try....

I used alcohol to celebrate when I was happy and to medicate when I was upset, but it always took me to the same destination on the same cul-de-sac. I was content to live each day knowing where I was going; it was comforting and not at all bad.

Now that I am sober, I realize that there are other places to visit. I can hit the highway and ride off on an endless road filled with possibilities that I hadn't bothered to contemplate. I no longer have that convenient roadblock that I had set up for myself -whether it was inadvertent or a tactic, it was escapism.

It is scary, but I am gaining the courage to face fears (whether they be of success or failure) by moving through them, not around them. I am allowing myself to dream for the first time, to reap different results and rewards by removing the alcohol.

To be completely honest, however, I would likely still be circling the drain if something negative didn't happen. Sometimes the universe gives us an uncomfortable push to make the change we had been subtly acknowledging and avoiding for a long time... I am not only glad, but excited to not be drinking, and I never thought that I would say that!

Wishing you well on your journey and thanking you for making me think about mine

least

No more lying, hiding, and pretending. No more feeling like sh!t for days. No more being too drunk or sick to respond in an emergency. No more wasted money or time. No more risk of getting a DUI and/or hurting or killing an innocent person.

I've got my kids' respect back, my self respect back, and I can look the world in the eye without shame and regret and self loathing.

My house is cleaner, my mind is clearer, my dogs are well cared for.

There are more advantages to staying sober but those are the biggest positive things for me.

HumbleBee

Being empathetic and open-minded (non-judgemental).

...and I don't mean showing empathy by simply saying, Oh, I know what you mean or You poor thing.

Living in recovery has taught me how to understand and really care about another person's pain, whether or not I've experienced it myself.

When I was actively drinking, I would rush to judgement and be critical of others because of how unhappy I was with myself.

I can only describe my past closed-mindedness this way:

"Choosing to live in narrow spaces leads to a form of mental agoraphobia."

I'm happy to live outside of myself; without putting me first.

And "life is not about how long it is, but how good it is."

Emmy69

Optimism, Ambition, Self Respect and looking forward to the possibilities of tomorrow instead of dwelling on the shame of the past!

NEOMARXIST

Hope and optimism. It is a great feeling to truly believe that there are great things waiting around the corner... as opposed to just more drink and drugs. OK when you're first slammin it down but what then? Blackout and slurring and calamity. All the while dragging yourself down lower and lower.

A totally new life. Literally. Recovery has totally changed my outlook and view on life. My identity has been totally transformed... Call it what you will. All I know is that it feels awesome!!

Grateful to be a recovering alcoholic.

MarkNS

Thanks for all of your responses!! I guess I'm a bit of a coward or something because I ran away from this forum about two months ago. A) I was feeling ashamed, and B) I some how convinced myself that I don't actually have a problem... Weird how that seems to be a recurring theme in my life.

Regardless, I'm back now and keeping an open mind.

Thanks again to everybody who responded to me. It still blows my mind sometimes how there are so many people out there who want to help somebody they've never met. Means a lot to me.

CarolD

Welcome back....
Glad you remembered we were here!

By the end of my drinking....I was diagnosed
with situational depression. It was a dark
empty place to be.

Soooo.... AA recovery got me out of there
and gave me a fantastic new life.

Hope you find your answers....