Guess I screwed up a bit
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: moving target
Posts: 956
Guess I screwed up a bit
First I am trying to kick this substance abuse crap really hard- drinking is my nemesis- the other stuff I usually don't care about- actually never think about it. In NY all weekend with the music scene. Had 3 beers Friday, 5 total Saturday - that's the truth .... Then I saw a couple of good friends of mine (would guess you know them...) who are in the rock scene and around midnight we went to this restaurant to eat but we ended up in the wrong place. Period. I stayed up all night and just got back- haven't slept at all even on our flight back- over 24 hrs awake. Reason for my post is I feel grounded here. I didnt drink any more though- believe it or not its true. Big deal. I am going to bed- I just wanted to stay in touch. Still on schedule to quit everything 100% completely Friday. I told everyone I am on vacation for 5 days (they asked but told them it was private). I know this sounds stupid. But here I am and really looking forward to the wds in a weird way- one of the guys I was out with that night is totally sober for 2 yrs and he is coming over to hang with me for 3 days while I sort this out. Friday may be rough...
Peace and Love to You All
Dub
Peace and Love to You All
Dub
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 142
Dub!! Glad that you posted. Friday sounds like a great day to start - AND you will be in the Class of May - a great bunch of supportive peeps. Fabulous to hear that you have a sober buddy to be with you during the worst of it in the beginning. You can absolutely do this! Please give us status updates as needed 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central, La.
Posts: 422
Hello, Dub. Seems as though there has not been acceptance in the deepest levels of your being. If there was, there would most likely be, an absence of talking around the issue. You are either an alcoholic/addict, or not. Once it has been accepted in the core of who you are, you will realize the truth, and be free. Hang in there, Dub. We are all here for you!
Peace
Peace
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ozstrayleeya
Posts: 2,950
..Hi Dub..
..I havn't had a drink for over a week now..got other problems
to contend with..
..Got the ol' geetar out again!!(learn't some Foo Fighter stuff)...
..my wife thinx i'm better than Dave...LOL..(wifes do that..lol..)
..what do they say about New York??...It's up to you....
..Good wishes,mate..ozyboy...
..I havn't had a drink for over a week now..got other problems
to contend with..
..Got the ol' geetar out again!!(learn't some Foo Fighter stuff)...
..my wife thinx i'm better than Dave...LOL..(wifes do that..lol..)
..what do they say about New York??...It's up to you....
..Good wishes,mate..ozyboy...
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
Dub what IS your plan for this quit? Are you going to detox/rehab. or are you attempting to do it, once...again...by....yourself? Having a friend, who is 2 years sober to hold your hand for a few days to get you through the big bad parts, is truly 'heart warming' but will be ultimately useless to you in getting and staying sober for good.
Dub, I for one find your stories of why you can't get and stay sober tiring. You are not, by far, the only person on this forum who works very long hours, has life stresses and challenges, ill family members, financial concerns etc. It's called LIFE.
Stop with the excuses already.
Dub, I for one find your stories of why you can't get and stay sober tiring. You are not, by far, the only person on this forum who works very long hours, has life stresses and challenges, ill family members, financial concerns etc. It's called LIFE.
Stop with the excuses already.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Hey dub. I am always glad to see someone always keep trying. But that doesnt mean keep screwing up too.
I am with Dee and Anna. I am not sure what else anyone can say to you. Next move is yours.
Keep posting.
I am with Dee and Anna. I am not sure what else anyone can say to you. Next move is yours.
Keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
I only wish you the best but sobriety is really on you at this point. Until you get off the sauce and seek help all I can do is just hope that you will get there.
You either drink or you don't. That simple and the wealth of support and help is there but you and only you can cross over by putting the drink down and saying I want to be sober.
I am here for you but you gotta get real about choosing sobriety.
Best of luck.
You either drink or you don't. That simple and the wealth of support and help is there but you and only you can cross over by putting the drink down and saying I want to be sober.
I am here for you but you gotta get real about choosing sobriety.
Best of luck.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi Dub. Like I said before I couldn't remain in the music scene and stay sober/clean. Period. Some might be able to, but not this alcoholic/addict. Drink and drugs was to the core for me in relation to everything regarding music and the scene surrounding it. Lifestyle wasn't sobriety, it just didn't feel right. I was rock n' roll and the two didn't mix. Period.
It was only natural to wish to get loaded with others listening and talking about music. Those that didn't like doing that, I frankly hadn't much in common with. It went a lot deeper than just drink and drugs, it got to the root of me as a person and took us to deeper depths in connecting with the music at 4.30 am totally loaded and off our faces.
I had to totally dedicate the last 10+ months of my life to sobriety and my recovery to alcoholism and drug addiciton. With further acceptance in my recovery then it has gotten much easier, but for many, many months I mourned it like losing a lover. I know how meeting with other musos is man, especially if they are still into the lifestyle.
I had to want, more than anything, to get and stay sober. That's the bottom line. So I was willing to accept totally changing my priorites and outlook on my life. I realised that I wouldn't have a life without my recovery/sobriety anyway. I am an alcoholic/addict. Thats the bottom line.
If you want it, then it will happen. But you can't keep dipping your toes in and you have to totally 100% accept to your innermost core that drink and drugs are not for the taking anymore. period. 'Just for today'. Only other recovering alcoholics/addicts will understand, and they are few and far between. Especially if you are mixing with musicians as part of your job. It's tough mate. But you can't have it both ways.
All The Best mate.
It was only natural to wish to get loaded with others listening and talking about music. Those that didn't like doing that, I frankly hadn't much in common with. It went a lot deeper than just drink and drugs, it got to the root of me as a person and took us to deeper depths in connecting with the music at 4.30 am totally loaded and off our faces.
I had to totally dedicate the last 10+ months of my life to sobriety and my recovery to alcoholism and drug addiciton. With further acceptance in my recovery then it has gotten much easier, but for many, many months I mourned it like losing a lover. I know how meeting with other musos is man, especially if they are still into the lifestyle.
I had to want, more than anything, to get and stay sober. That's the bottom line. So I was willing to accept totally changing my priorites and outlook on my life. I realised that I wouldn't have a life without my recovery/sobriety anyway. I am an alcoholic/addict. Thats the bottom line.
If you want it, then it will happen. But you can't keep dipping your toes in and you have to totally 100% accept to your innermost core that drink and drugs are not for the taking anymore. period. 'Just for today'. Only other recovering alcoholics/addicts will understand, and they are few and far between. Especially if you are mixing with musicians as part of your job. It's tough mate. But you can't have it both ways.
All The Best mate.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: moving target
Posts: 956
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST 
Hi Dub. Like I said before I couldn't remain in the music scene and stay sober/clean. Period. Some might be able to, but not this alcoholic/addict. Drink and drugs was to the core for me in relation to everything regarding music and the scene surrounding it. Lifestyle wasn't sobriety, it just didn't feel right. I was rock n' roll and the two didn't mix. Period.
It was only natural to wish to get loaded with others listening and talking about music. Those that didn't like doing that, I frankly hadn't much in common with. It went a lot deeper than just drink and drugs, it got to the root of me as a person and took us to deeper depths in connecting with the music at 4.30 am totally loaded and off our faces.
I had to totally dedicate the last 10+ months of my life to sobriety and my recovery to alcoholism and drug addiciton. With further acceptance in my recovery then it has gotten much easier, but for many, many months I mourned it like losing a lover. I know how meeting with other musos is man, especially if they are still into the lifestyle.
I had to want, more than anything, to get and stay sober. That's the bottom line. So I was willing to accept totally changing my priorites and outlook on my life. I realised that I wouldn't have a life without my recovery/sobriety anyway. I am an alcoholic/addict. Thats the bottom line.
If you want it, then it will happen. But you can't keep dipping your toes in and you have to totally 100% accept to your innermost core that drink and drugs are not for the taking anymore. period. 'Just for today'. Only other recovering alcoholics/addicts will understand, and they are few and far between. Especially if you are mixing with musicians as part of your job. It's tough mate. But you can't have it both ways.
All The Best mate.
It was only natural to wish to get loaded with others listening and talking about music. Those that didn't like doing that, I frankly hadn't much in common with. It went a lot deeper than just drink and drugs, it got to the root of me as a person and took us to deeper depths in connecting with the music at 4.30 am totally loaded and off our faces.
I had to totally dedicate the last 10+ months of my life to sobriety and my recovery to alcoholism and drug addiciton. With further acceptance in my recovery then it has gotten much easier, but for many, many months I mourned it like losing a lover. I know how meeting with other musos is man, especially if they are still into the lifestyle.
I had to want, more than anything, to get and stay sober. That's the bottom line. So I was willing to accept totally changing my priorites and outlook on my life. I realised that I wouldn't have a life without my recovery/sobriety anyway. I am an alcoholic/addict. Thats the bottom line.
If you want it, then it will happen. But you can't keep dipping your toes in and you have to totally 100% accept to your innermost core that drink and drugs are not for the taking anymore. period. 'Just for today'. Only other recovering alcoholics/addicts will understand, and they are few and far between. Especially if you are mixing with musicians as part of your job. It's tough mate. But you can't have it both ways.
All The Best mate.
Dub
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 5
Using excuses to keep drinking and or using will only make your life get worse. However, it is a very good thing that you are still on these boards, that alone shows that you have some will to quit drinking. Honestly though, this is the cold hard truth in my opinion, if you keep making excuses and such, maybe you arent ready to stop drinking. You have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired to truly want and know that you are done with drinking. No matter what though, im here to support you!
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