Trigger-time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South of the Border
Posts: 18
Trigger-time
Hi All,
It's evening time where I am- the usual drinking time for me. I'm still on Day One. Keep telling myself I have to start somewhere: One day at a time...
Trying to stay occupied but my concentration span is about 3 seconds long.
Time is passing so slowly. I just need the night to be over (I have never drunk alcohol in the morning, so morning time is the safety zone) ...
My hands are not shaking violently, they just feel very unsteady. I am so hungry but just spent an hour staring at home delivery menus, utterly unable to make a decision. I can't face decisions. I can't face a supermarket with people in it. Tinned soup from the microwave it is.
Just thankful for the little things: I have a tin of soup. I have a microwave. I don't have to work until Monday. Just need to focus on not drinking.
It's evening time where I am- the usual drinking time for me. I'm still on Day One. Keep telling myself I have to start somewhere: One day at a time...
Trying to stay occupied but my concentration span is about 3 seconds long.
Time is passing so slowly. I just need the night to be over (I have never drunk alcohol in the morning, so morning time is the safety zone) ...
My hands are not shaking violently, they just feel very unsteady. I am so hungry but just spent an hour staring at home delivery menus, utterly unable to make a decision. I can't face decisions. I can't face a supermarket with people in it. Tinned soup from the microwave it is.
Just thankful for the little things: I have a tin of soup. I have a microwave. I don't have to work until Monday. Just need to focus on not drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
littlewheel2,
Keep reading SR. Have you considered AA? A meeting in the evening could be a good way to start.
If AA isn't for you, there are other methods to look into. I like Rational Recovery. You might see about getting some recovery books from the library or even order some from Amazon.
Many people have found answers in "Under the Influence." I believe they are references here on SR.
Hang in there. It does get better!
Love,
Lenina
Keep reading SR. Have you considered AA? A meeting in the evening could be a good way to start.
If AA isn't for you, there are other methods to look into. I like Rational Recovery. You might see about getting some recovery books from the library or even order some from Amazon.
Many people have found answers in "Under the Influence." I believe they are references here on SR.
Hang in there. It does get better!
Love,
Lenina
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 280
Distraction is key at this point. Clean out a drawer or corner of your flat/house. Go to a movie and eat tons of popcorn and pic n mix, works for me!!
Drink hot chocolate, phone someone, go to a meeting, masterbate (or have sex, depends on your situ), read read read something you enjoy, total trash...
OR cry, scream, shout, hit the wall/bed/carpet, whatever it takes to not pick up. Assume you won't sleep then any sleep you get is a bonus.
This book 'Living Sober' is the best for practical ideas on staying sober.
Keep cool, your doing well, the first 24 hours are the hardest so get through them and things get easier.
M
Drink hot chocolate, phone someone, go to a meeting, masterbate (or have sex, depends on your situ), read read read something you enjoy, total trash...
OR cry, scream, shout, hit the wall/bed/carpet, whatever it takes to not pick up. Assume you won't sleep then any sleep you get is a bonus.
This book 'Living Sober' is the best for practical ideas on staying sober.
Keep cool, your doing well, the first 24 hours are the hardest so get through them and things get easier.
M
Last edited by Dee74; 05-14-2010 at 02:58 PM. Reason: removed link
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Stick close to SR Littlewheel. If you are having bad withdrawals please go to the doctor. I'm sure you read about how serious withdrawals can be.
Change up your routine too. Post here if you need help and remember cravings will pass. You can do this. The weekend might be a good time to start for you, but it could be a trigger also. What do you like to do? Go to a movie or a bookstore or anyplace that wouldn't be a place to drink. Just some ideas.
Change up your routine too. Post here if you need help and remember cravings will pass. You can do this. The weekend might be a good time to start for you, but it could be a trigger also. What do you like to do? Go to a movie or a bookstore or anyplace that wouldn't be a place to drink. Just some ideas.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 54
Ahhhh...that 5 PM bell rings for me as well. I am on day 12 and it is getting easier every single day. That being said, when it seems like it is getting easier, the disease will try to tell you that you are not so bad off and maybe you don't have that much of an issue....
Sobriety saved my life.
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Sonoma Valley, CA
Posts: 55
Same here, day 3, got off work early, wife will be at work for a while, usually don't do anything but get messed up on Friday nite cause "hey I can sleep in tomarrow".
But no I've gotten this far I can't go back. I've already called my buddy to play some tennis or basketball. If he doesn't call back I'm taking my dogs for a walk.
Lets get distracted together, make it the new D word. Flip
But no I've gotten this far I can't go back. I've already called my buddy to play some tennis or basketball. If he doesn't call back I'm taking my dogs for a walk.
Lets get distracted together, make it the new D word. Flip
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Oh Littlewheel, I was so much like you are the first few days. Time just crept along and the day seemed to take forever. It was hopeless for me to make a decision and I could barely manage to do some laundry and make supper. And my concentration was gone and I remember pacing because I couldn't focus on anything. I hope you got through the night. My advice is to plan, plan, plan to be busy, doing something that takes your mind off drinking even for a few minutes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South of the Border
Posts: 18
Thank you everyone; I made it through the 24 hours!
Hi Everyone and thank you so much for the constant support :-)
I'm looking into the books and any advice, anything at all is welcome. I never want to start my work day with my head in a toilet spewing my stomach lining again! Graphic, but I cannot forget how low I was and have been so many times. It is pitiful and sad and i'm finished with it!
I made it through the night without cracking open the "back up" emergency bottle...kept in case I decided I couldn't physically deal with the discomfort of cold turkey and had to instead try to taper off usage. Yay for me not losing it.
Last night my book and a long bath saved me (and you guys!) I took 3 Valerian tablets and hoped for the best before bed. I can't believe I fell asleep so easily (was pretty worn out from all the vomiting on the morning of Day 1- a very demented form of exercise if ever I've had one)
Sleep was foggy and fitfull: woke at 2am and again at 4am from horrible nightmares. Sweaty and heart racing. I smelled burning smoke as in "this building is on fire" and looked everywhere at 4a.m. for the possible deadly source of smoke. It was a sensory hallucination; there was no smoke. I can't believe how convinced I was of a fire. My poor brain. Really, unbelievable and scary...I hope that never happens again!
I made sure I ate a good breakfast (very hungry) - nice eggs, bacon, a cup of weak tea...I'll keep going with the meals because I become really agitated and shaky-confused if I don't eat often...my blood sugar must be totally screwy because of the constant alcohol in my system. I'm trying not to spike it, so just sticking to water and regular meals.
I agreed a week ago to go out to a big dinner with my friend and colleague tonight: I can't go. It would be impossible not to drink. My friend is Korean and it is rude for your glass to be empty: these guys drink ALOT. I just messaged him to say I was sick and couldn't come. It's a lie, but it's also true. It would be a step back into sinking into drinking again. I'd be back on Day One: something I don't want to do again.
I know tonight will come and the usual drinking time will come; but I am not going to drink. It will be hard, but I'm not going back on what I've started this weekend...I am trying to see myself from the outside: with a view to the long-term...thinking of myself happy, less fat, less ill in a month's time alcohol free. You guys have done it, so it is possible.
I'll cross the bridge of "excuses to use for not drinking" in this very alco-centric world I live in at a later date. This weekend is dedicated to getting the alcohol out of my system (3 days right?) and re-inforcing that I no longer drink alcohol on a nightly basis. New routines and new habits to replace the old Alcoholic-Automaton I was. Like a horrible guzzling robot!
Thanks again for the help. I hope that tonight, Day 2 is not as panic ridden and uncomfortable as the first day.
LW
I'm looking into the books and any advice, anything at all is welcome. I never want to start my work day with my head in a toilet spewing my stomach lining again! Graphic, but I cannot forget how low I was and have been so many times. It is pitiful and sad and i'm finished with it!
I made it through the night without cracking open the "back up" emergency bottle...kept in case I decided I couldn't physically deal with the discomfort of cold turkey and had to instead try to taper off usage. Yay for me not losing it.
Last night my book and a long bath saved me (and you guys!) I took 3 Valerian tablets and hoped for the best before bed. I can't believe I fell asleep so easily (was pretty worn out from all the vomiting on the morning of Day 1- a very demented form of exercise if ever I've had one)
Sleep was foggy and fitfull: woke at 2am and again at 4am from horrible nightmares. Sweaty and heart racing. I smelled burning smoke as in "this building is on fire" and looked everywhere at 4a.m. for the possible deadly source of smoke. It was a sensory hallucination; there was no smoke. I can't believe how convinced I was of a fire. My poor brain. Really, unbelievable and scary...I hope that never happens again!
I made sure I ate a good breakfast (very hungry) - nice eggs, bacon, a cup of weak tea...I'll keep going with the meals because I become really agitated and shaky-confused if I don't eat often...my blood sugar must be totally screwy because of the constant alcohol in my system. I'm trying not to spike it, so just sticking to water and regular meals.
I agreed a week ago to go out to a big dinner with my friend and colleague tonight: I can't go. It would be impossible not to drink. My friend is Korean and it is rude for your glass to be empty: these guys drink ALOT. I just messaged him to say I was sick and couldn't come. It's a lie, but it's also true. It would be a step back into sinking into drinking again. I'd be back on Day One: something I don't want to do again.
I know tonight will come and the usual drinking time will come; but I am not going to drink. It will be hard, but I'm not going back on what I've started this weekend...I am trying to see myself from the outside: with a view to the long-term...thinking of myself happy, less fat, less ill in a month's time alcohol free. You guys have done it, so it is possible.
I'll cross the bridge of "excuses to use for not drinking" in this very alco-centric world I live in at a later date. This weekend is dedicated to getting the alcohol out of my system (3 days right?) and re-inforcing that I no longer drink alcohol on a nightly basis. New routines and new habits to replace the old Alcoholic-Automaton I was. Like a horrible guzzling robot!
Thanks again for the help. I hope that tonight, Day 2 is not as panic ridden and uncomfortable as the first day.
LW
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: California
Posts: 33
good for you littlewheel for not going to the emergency bottle. the first night or two or three were not very restful for me either, but soon after that I was getting some well overdue deep sleep. Hope you have a better night tonight.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South of the Border
Posts: 18
Thanks Northfork!
Thanks Northfork,
Yes. I am hoping that sleep becomes easier, without the sweaty nightmare sudden wake ups!. I guess I will have to start to exercise every day to try to regulate my sleep better. The sooner the better: I better make plans for a long walk every day.
I cannot believe the damage I must have been doing with a skinfull of alcohol in my bloodstream every night. My poor body was fighting the alcohol and trying to re-boot it's systems. Not very healthy. No wonder I felt so hopeless and depressed.
LW
Yes. I am hoping that sleep becomes easier, without the sweaty nightmare sudden wake ups!. I guess I will have to start to exercise every day to try to regulate my sleep better. The sooner the better: I better make plans for a long walk every day.
I cannot believe the damage I must have been doing with a skinfull of alcohol in my bloodstream every night. My poor body was fighting the alcohol and trying to re-boot it's systems. Not very healthy. No wonder I felt so hopeless and depressed.
LW
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Glad to hear you made it littlewheel 
I really would think about getting rid of that back up bottle tho - it never turned out well with me.
I know it's scary - a kinda no net thing - but if you're that worried about withdrawal, I really think it's in your best interests to see a Dr instead.
D
I really would think about getting rid of that back up bottle tho - it never turned out well with me.
I know it's scary - a kinda no net thing - but if you're that worried about withdrawal, I really think it's in your best interests to see a Dr instead.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South of the Border
Posts: 18
Thanks South Seas,
Yes, you're right about the safety net: It's dangerous. I'll throw it out the morning of Day 4 when I know I've gotten through this weekend of withdrawal. My doctor took all my stats and said that tranquilizers were too addictive and advised a solo-withdrawal. So here I am.
I feel o.k. in my mind: I used to look at the bottle as a great comfort. My view has changed it into something that causes absolute devastation to my brain and body. I won't open it. It's there as insurance against me getting panicky and desperate and driving to a liquor store for a case/box of wine (12 bottles)...weird and irrational I know, but I want it to sit and gather dust.
LW
Yes, you're right about the safety net: It's dangerous. I'll throw it out the morning of Day 4 when I know I've gotten through this weekend of withdrawal. My doctor took all my stats and said that tranquilizers were too addictive and advised a solo-withdrawal. So here I am.
I feel o.k. in my mind: I used to look at the bottle as a great comfort. My view has changed it into something that causes absolute devastation to my brain and body. I won't open it. It's there as insurance against me getting panicky and desperate and driving to a liquor store for a case/box of wine (12 bottles)...weird and irrational I know, but I want it to sit and gather dust.
LW
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