What about the kids?
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: wausau, wi
Posts: 28
:: amazing how our brains become storms so quickly with worries, what ifs?, and all boils down to surrender for me. I need to ask for my HP who I call God; to direct my thoughts, actions, and ability to stay in the day. This is easier said than done and in no way mastered. The Big Book says to pause n pray for the right thought or action and then we need to try and quiet the storm so we can hear the answer; again easier said, than done sometimes.
:: amazing how our brains become storms so quickly with worries, what ifs?, and all boils down to surrender for me. I need to ask for my HP who I call God; to direct my thoughts, actions, and ability to stay in the day. This is easier said than done and in no way mastered. The Big Book says to pause n pray for the right thought or action and then we need to try and quiet the storm so we can hear the answer; again easier said, than done sometimes.
Winton, I have thought of that myself as alcoholism is prevalent in all families where my children are involved. Here is how I look at it.
If they should ever have an issue there will be at least one person in the family who is working a program and knows how to deal with addiction. I can be there for my kids but they are just like me and everyone else they're going to make their own decisions and make their own choices in life. I cannot control the decisions that they make or the ones they will make. I can set a good example for them, give them constructive discipline while they're young and give them the best advise I can, after that it is out of my hands.
I will never be able to be there for them should they need me if I'm not well, which is why you really should just focus on yourself. Don't look so far to the future, we can never predict what is going to happen. Take care of you.
If they should ever have an issue there will be at least one person in the family who is working a program and knows how to deal with addiction. I can be there for my kids but they are just like me and everyone else they're going to make their own decisions and make their own choices in life. I cannot control the decisions that they make or the ones they will make. I can set a good example for them, give them constructive discipline while they're young and give them the best advise I can, after that it is out of my hands.
I will never be able to be there for them should they need me if I'm not well, which is why you really should just focus on yourself. Don't look so far to the future, we can never predict what is going to happen. Take care of you.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
You know even though I'm young this is something I've thought about. I think it's important to avoid being all "alcohol is evil, don't ever touch it" to your kids, because they will end up having a few drinks and having some fun and thinking "Dad was lying or was wrong" etc.
What is important is to tell them to be very cautious, as was said above. Tell them about the dangers and that you'll always be there to talk to if they think they're drinking too much etc.
That said, I don't have any experience in this, just throwing in my 2c
What is important is to tell them to be very cautious, as was said above. Tell them about the dangers and that you'll always be there to talk to if they think they're drinking too much etc.
That said, I don't have any experience in this, just throwing in my 2c
There is a saying in AA, one of the many ones that are just as applicable in real life...attraction not promotion...for me anyone can talks bollocks...lets see you doing it yourself, because the latter will actually influence people, the former is just hot air:-)
And the second point is that for most people alcohol is used as a form of enjoyment, just because we choose not to use alcohol now knowing our condition doesn't mean we can ever cast a net and say it is bad for all...in this case that kind of talk to a young adult is going to send them right to the drink lol im a little away from young adult now (;-)) but i remember what i did if someone said you absolutely must never do that its a sin kind of thing;-)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 27
I grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother who believed it was the sum of all evil. Although I could see what it did to my father and his marriage I always felt like I was different, and in the beginning I was. I started drinking when I left home at 19 and it took a few years for it to get to the point of interfering with my life.
Now, at 24, I've decided that the problems it causes in my life just aren't worth it. I don't think the "alcohol is evil" attitude solves anything. I was a good kid, but just had to find out for myself. It's hard to believe that alcohol is evil when you hit college age and everyone you know is drinking all the time.
I think it would be more beneficial for them to hear about your experience. I was told at one point that my grandfather (on the alcoholic side) used to drink heavily in the early days of their marriage, but then gave it up completely at some point. I've never seen him with a drink in his hand as long as I've known him. I really believe he came to the same conclusion I did about alcohol. I've gained more strength from thinking about his example than from all the "alcohol is evil" lectures I heard as a teen.
Now, at 24, I've decided that the problems it causes in my life just aren't worth it. I don't think the "alcohol is evil" attitude solves anything. I was a good kid, but just had to find out for myself. It's hard to believe that alcohol is evil when you hit college age and everyone you know is drinking all the time.
I think it would be more beneficial for them to hear about your experience. I was told at one point that my grandfather (on the alcoholic side) used to drink heavily in the early days of their marriage, but then gave it up completely at some point. I've never seen him with a drink in his hand as long as I've known him. I really believe he came to the same conclusion I did about alcohol. I've gained more strength from thinking about his example than from all the "alcohol is evil" lectures I heard as a teen.
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