Hey Friends- I feel like crap
 

I am not looking for pity...I feel like I know most of you. I am drinking max (true) 6 beers per day over 24 hrs. That is a huge change by the way- used to be double digits. Have taken 5 days off end of May to stop completely. However- I feel like absolute **** right now. I think i have passed the buzz phase of alcoholism and my brain is freaking. Just an update. Going to NY tomorrow morning for the weekend for work then right back at it Monday for presentation- 12 days of 12 hrs a day going on (but work helps- I love the music biz). Thats my job...which I really like. Just wanted to vent...I guess. I have never been depressed in my life but I feel like I am. Love and Peace.
Just me
Dub

Is it time for a change, Dub?

Does not sound like alcohol is doing you one bit of a good Dub. Hope you will stick the quit time. You will thank yourself.

((((Dubs)))

Good to see you. It quits when you want it to. Come on inside.

Much love,

Lenina

Hi Dub - as always, it's good to see you. I hope you'll come to the right conclusion about the drinking (even though I realize it's way less than it used to be). You don't have to settle for feeling this way.

Hi Dub. I guess like others have said... You can get sober when you want to.

If you still take that first drink then you ain't never going to be sober. I guess your livelihood is in the music biz so I know how closely related drink/drugs are. I had to totally remove myself from music to get and stay sober. If I hadn't of done then I wouldn't be sober. Plain and simple.

I appreciate that your situation is different. But for me then the characters and general way of life with rock n' roll and the scene was drink and drug fuelled.

I had to dedicate my life to sobriety and my recovery as I realised that without my recovery then I would have nothing anyway. But then again I was far from functional and never managed to only have 6 beers. I would always drink to oblivion once I started.

Sobriety is there if you want it mate.

All The Best

Don't use the biz as an excuse tho Dub :)

I know of many musos with long term sobriety - Clapton, Alice Cooper, Joe Walsh, Ringo...I'm sure you could name many more.

You can get it if you really want, y'know? :)

D

I hope you can 'really' quit drinking this time. You don't have to feel like sh!t anymore. But it's up to you. I hope you do the right thing.

I think it would be hard to live a sober life while working in the music industry. But where there is a will there is a way, as the saying goes.

Hey Dub, thinking positive thoughts for you.

Six a night would have been tightly controlled drinking for me too (so much work to be an alkie!), but that is still - from any non-alcoholic's perspective - and from the point of view of physiology - a lot, certainly enough to give you all the fear, anxieties and cravings you feel. We really do have a warped point of view when we think we're drinking normally or moderately at a sixer a night: part of the insanity we hear so much about. Ive been off the booze for eleven days, and I feel great, passing cravings aside. Quitting, by the way, is not as hard to do as it is scary in prospect. You shake and **** and moan for a few days, and the worst is over. (Then the real work of staying sober starts). You can get meds if you're worried about withdrawal, particularly a good idea if you up your intake between now and quitting, I suppose. Best of luck to you when you decide to quit.

thanks from my heart
dub

We love you and it is painful to see your struggle, but at least you are checking in and I really appreciate knowing you are still here. I know you WILL get it, but I just want to see the commitment. I know its coming and we'll all celebrate with you. xxx Sarah

well here I am- in the middle of NY music scene. doing well but still seeing all the crap that ends up killing me....I have remained sober - the only one I think. But I have to go through Sunday evening...I feel pretty strong but you can tell I am in a different frame of mind than those around me.
I felt like posting - to keep me grounded....Love you guys, keep on fighting, I am trying.
Dub

Sober wasnt accurate. I am on my 3-6 beers budget and at 2- which is stupid but its a hell of a lot better than I was. I am going totally off in a week or so. I know you have all heard it before.....
Love and Much Appreciation for all you sober folks- wish I was.
Intention- I read that book cover to cover- it was awesome.
D

We believe in you, Dub. I finally got it after many tries. I haven't looked back this last time, unlike all the other times. I just knew in my heart it was over, & was bringing me nothing but misery.

Greetings dub...

Hope your time in NY is going well...

Can't live with and can't live without alcohol huh? Been there, done that. The sooner you can quit drinking the better off you'll be my friend. It might not be easy but it's better than the torturous place we all find ourselves in at the end of the road. I'm pulling for you dub, as always.

Sending you good vibes to toss the bottle and start living life again. You will be ready when you or your body say no more.

Wish you well and don't give up.

I'm glad you always come back here to check in. You seem to be feeling pretty miserable most of the time..I hope you make the changes you're planning..you're wasting a lot of life, friend.

Thanks friends- I am doing good today. Just keeping focused around all of the crazies (like me) that I have been around the last few days.
Peace and Love to All of You-
Dub

Hang in there D...went from a liter of bourbon a day to zilch...I feel like a bag of sh*t...thrown down a flight of stairs...then wrapped up in Christmas paper...and lit on fire...but other than that, I am well..LOL...However, I have not had a drink...or drug. :danse1b: Maybe stay in music but get onto the classical circuit which I believe don't have as polluted an environment..I could be wrong though...for me if I have one, it targets my receptors immediately and I am doomed...I've only posted a couple of times on here so far, but it is certainly a great place and I have read quite a bit to get through the cravings which has helped immensely...perhaps I might have went to the liquor store yesterday if I just didn't plant my butt down and read for hours on this sight...learned so much...sorry , ranting here a bit, but I'm going to roll with it...it prevents me from any distractions today...I leave you with this quote which I changed around a little from "Lord of The Rings"...Corny ?? Yes...but what the heck, worked for me yesterday...instead of Aragorn saying it, just insert me...KingofNewYork, since that is where you are, and now you know you have a friend close by..and sober. : Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons and daughters of Sober Recovery, of Abstinent, my brothers and sisters ! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of women and men fail, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of people comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you *stand, Men and Women of the Sober World !!!* ....O.K. as you were...:Xmascb:..see all these singers didn't drink either because of the quote I gave them. :smilejap: Peace.

KingofNY -LOL!! I couldn't sit through 5 minutes of Lord of The Rings the movie and didn't read the book (sci fi isn't very funny...) but I could read your stuff all day long!!

I look forward to your next adaptation!!!

Peace,
Pork

I am 7 days sober today ans work in the MEDICAL SPa industry where everything we do is based on HEALTH AND WELLNESS and I was snoreting up to 600 MG
s of OC in the bathroon everyday while at work, working with girl that came in still drunk form the night before and went out and invited me EVERY NIGHT, which I used the excuse that b.c I was in management (which was true) that there was a rule we couldnt go out w. them, even though plenty of other mangers did.
I know the music industry has the reputation and facts to back it up that it is a drug and alcohol fueled industry but just for eample, look at my idndustry of health and wellness and we/they are doing the same, and let me telll you when I worked for onee of the larges well the largest fitness center in the country w/ over 100 locations and a spa in inch of them, I managed and grand opened 2 of them in a little over a year and the group fitness and personal trainers, the healthiest of the healthy (on the outside) were some of the biggest junkies and alcoholics I have ever met in my life....
Just food for thought...
<3 Dream