BKP

Hey Winston.
I came here 1 year 5 months ago and have stayed strong and sober with the help of others and the willpower of myself. Try AA if you can, if you cant keep coming back battling this disease is always a struggle but i look at it as a blessing now. Congrats on Step 1 and the rest is up to you, keep strong.

Winton

I can't believe how much better I feel discussing this with people who have been in the same boat. Sleeping is what I fear most. I can never friggin sleep!

Lenina

Winton,

My sobriety date is December 1, 2007. That's just over two and a half years. Today, I am mostly at peace and have joy in my life. I am not a religious person, by a traditional definition.

I lost control early on. I don't know at what point that little biological or chemical switch gets thrown so we lose control. This is why I drank alone. I didn't want to have to worry about what other people would think or what I might do, I could be alone with my alcohol.

Needless to say, I was very depressed. I would quit drinking for various periods of time. Sometimes up to a few years between drinks. But when I did have that first drink, it was off to the races. The disease is truly progressive!

I had to learn a lot of alcoholism from other alcoholics. We are really the only ones who fully understand it.

I went to rehab in 1986 and it did me a world of good. I stayed sober for eleven years. But, I quit taking care of my disease and it came back, harder and like I never had stopped.

AA is very useful in helping us learn how to be peaceful and contented. I also use Rational Recovery.

I don't have many bad days today. Yes, life goes on with all its glory, LOL but I have better ways to cope. I don't listen to the Addictive Voice any more. It's mostly gone!

I go out with friends, I live my life and I am grateful. I do take care of my disease every day by reading and posting here. I also have some friends in recovery and we talk.

I hope this is helpful for you. I wish I were a better writer. You'll see we have so many great people here who are far more articulate than I am!

I can assure you this: Recovery is possible! Peace and happiness is possible for us! We just have to work it a little harder.

Love,

Lenina

Winton

As I sit here up late for sure, I think of my beautiful family. I have been a 50% father. Every other day I play baseball, football, take my kids fishing, play board games, etc. I'm a very involved father. I love my kids and wife more than life itself. I just escape to the basement where I drink myself silly every other day. I'm responsible enough to not drink and drive anymore, although that wasn't always the case. I even cook dinner as I'm drinking. I am realizing what I have become, and the pain is so high. I'm scared of failing.

My father died young d/t not taking care of himself, and I am making that same mistake. I must fight for me, and my family. Dying scares me only because I won't have my family when I'm gone.

Lenina

Winton,

You've made a good decision to come to SR and post! Read through the other posts and you'll see many similarities! And you'll see people like you and I got sober, got our lives back and are now healthy and happy!

For me, the hardest part was taking the first steps. I had to admit to myself that I was an alcoholic and that I needed help. It seems you've done that!

You might check out AA. It's a good program.

Love,

Lenina

Dee74

I've never seen anyone here who really wanted to quit for whom it's been too late, Winton

Just think a day at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself.
All anyone - 20 years or 2 days - has to do is stay sober today.

D

betterlate

Winton, sounds like you're reaching the point I reached in the past few months. Drinking became no longer fun. More like an anxious chore. Like it was my job of drudgery, anxiety and pain to keep the alcohol industry going. I grew to hate the liquor store I felt obliged to visit daily, and sometimes more than once a day.

This is day 17 for me and I am feeling remarkably better. Haven't been inside that blasted liquor store now in over half a month. Give it a try, you just may find that staying undrunk is more fun than being drunk.

Winton

Day 3 begins! Man am I starving in the morning! Got about 4 hours of sleep. I'm getting a darn cold. My daughter has one and my wife and son had it a week ago. I guess it is my turn. I'm going to McDs to get an egg Mcmuffin, maybe 2!

artsoul

Congrats on 2 days sober! I ate like a pig for the first several days, but after about a week my appetite starting returning to normal. I guess it's a reaction to having all that alcohol in our system (blood sugar issues, etc.). So I say go for the food. Infact, you may notice yourself wanting to drink when you're hungry, so it actually helps alieviate the cravings.

Good to see you're hanging in there - You can do this!