Starting fresh
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 10
Starting fresh
Hi just to introduce myself, I'm a guy who lives on my own, nothing really special about me. I'm not particularly sociable (to say the least) and I wouldn't call myself a full blown alcoholic. Not yet anyway.
I'm writing because yesterday I tried to resist the urge to drink, couldn't, and managed to screw up something very important. This is hardly the first time I've got drunk and done something stupid, but this has really affected me in a bad way. I couldn't stop myself from drinking and I've paid an enormous price.
Now before I would say I wouldn't have had a problem. Nothing serious, as such. Just something to do on my time off. Staying up late, working on something, just being myself; not a huge issue. But now, after this recent disaster, I've got to come to face the fact that I've been going down a risky road, and it's starting to get very, very bad.
Drinking is stopping me from developing and progressing as a person. It harms me physically, it harms me mentally (my memory is degrading) but harms my future. I don't have anything to look forward to because I've kept on drinking and it's just wrecked any prospects I have. And I can't believe it's gotten to the point where it has.
I would say denial has played a big part in this, I like to pretend that I'm being fun and bad when it's not that at all, I can't help myself, and even worse, I just can't believe my behaviour when I'm drunk. I can't get my head round why I would be so, so stupid. It makes me so sad and angry to think about it. And it could all have been avoided if I hadn't have drunk.
The thing that scares me the most is that I try to stop drinking and I don't. I keep trying to tell myself to stop and I can't. Sometimes drinking will be the only thing I can think about. I've been drinking so heavily over the past few weeks and months and there hasn't been a gap of three days within the last 6 months when I haven't got wasted. Sometimes I go for weeks spending most of it wrecked. It's got to stop.
So today I am on day 1 I guess. I can't believe I'm doing this, but I might as well accept that I am very close to making friends with the big A and until I admit that I have a drinking problem or that I'm at least developing a drinking problem things are going to get much worse. I have to grow up and start taking control of my situation.
Thanks for reading, and best of luck to everyone here with their alcohol problems too.
I'm writing because yesterday I tried to resist the urge to drink, couldn't, and managed to screw up something very important. This is hardly the first time I've got drunk and done something stupid, but this has really affected me in a bad way. I couldn't stop myself from drinking and I've paid an enormous price.
Now before I would say I wouldn't have had a problem. Nothing serious, as such. Just something to do on my time off. Staying up late, working on something, just being myself; not a huge issue. But now, after this recent disaster, I've got to come to face the fact that I've been going down a risky road, and it's starting to get very, very bad.
Drinking is stopping me from developing and progressing as a person. It harms me physically, it harms me mentally (my memory is degrading) but harms my future. I don't have anything to look forward to because I've kept on drinking and it's just wrecked any prospects I have. And I can't believe it's gotten to the point where it has.
I would say denial has played a big part in this, I like to pretend that I'm being fun and bad when it's not that at all, I can't help myself, and even worse, I just can't believe my behaviour when I'm drunk. I can't get my head round why I would be so, so stupid. It makes me so sad and angry to think about it. And it could all have been avoided if I hadn't have drunk.
The thing that scares me the most is that I try to stop drinking and I don't. I keep trying to tell myself to stop and I can't. Sometimes drinking will be the only thing I can think about. I've been drinking so heavily over the past few weeks and months and there hasn't been a gap of three days within the last 6 months when I haven't got wasted. Sometimes I go for weeks spending most of it wrecked. It's got to stop.
So today I am on day 1 I guess. I can't believe I'm doing this, but I might as well accept that I am very close to making friends with the big A and until I admit that I have a drinking problem or that I'm at least developing a drinking problem things are going to get much worse. I have to grow up and start taking control of my situation.
Thanks for reading, and best of luck to everyone here with their alcohol problems too.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi there.
I found that by accepting what I was ie- an alcoholic, then rather than being a shameful burden, in actual fact it was fundamental for my recovery.
By continuing to not truly accept that I was an alcoholic, would have just brought me more and more shame. Because I was ashamed to be a drunk.
But I am not ashamed to be a recovering alcoholic. Far from it infact. It enabled me to totally turn my life around into something happy and positive. As opposed to sad and hopeless.
Keep reading and posting and remember to start recovering then you need to just not pick up that first drink 'just for today'. 1 drink is too many and 100000 never enough!
All The Best.
I found that by accepting what I was ie- an alcoholic, then rather than being a shameful burden, in actual fact it was fundamental for my recovery.
By continuing to not truly accept that I was an alcoholic, would have just brought me more and more shame. Because I was ashamed to be a drunk.
But I am not ashamed to be a recovering alcoholic. Far from it infact. It enabled me to totally turn my life around into something happy and positive. As opposed to sad and hopeless.
Keep reading and posting and remember to start recovering then you need to just not pick up that first drink 'just for today'. 1 drink is too many and 100000 never enough!
All The Best.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 219
Welcome!!
Sounds like you have had enough and are ready to make a change. It is possible, but you have to put forth the effort. Having a plan will help. There are so many people here who can help...keep reading and posting. You'll find the support here to help you start your new life.
Sounds like you have had enough and are ready to make a change. It is possible, but you have to put forth the effort. Having a plan will help. There are so many people here who can help...keep reading and posting. You'll find the support here to help you start your new life.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome to SR! Yep, you're in the right place, as banannagrrl said. I had to admit defeat as well. My drinking became an obsession. I thought about it constantly: craving it, trying to control it, hiding it, regretting it.... the struggle became continual until I finally realized I really had NO power over alcohol. Coming here was hard but it was also a relief to finally be honest, and a comfort to be with people who understood what I was going through.
Neo is right - you have to stay sober one day at a time (or 10 minutes at a time or whatever). Things WILL get better. You're making the best decision you could possibly make by choosing to stop drinking.
p.s. day 1 is pretty rough and some of us needed to talk to a doctor for withdrawal symptoms, so keep that in mind.
Neo is right - you have to stay sober one day at a time (or 10 minutes at a time or whatever). Things WILL get better. You're making the best decision you could possibly make by choosing to stop drinking.
p.s. day 1 is pretty rough and some of us needed to talk to a doctor for withdrawal symptoms, so keep that in mind.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 10
Thanks so much for the support guys. I'll start trying to put together a plan, so I can keep myself busy without having to think about drinking.
I'm nervous about withdrawal symptoms, but I think I can deal with them by drinking lots of water and eating more. As long as I can stay away from one drink then I think I will be fine.
Again, amazing to hear from you guys.
I'm nervous about withdrawal symptoms, but I think I can deal with them by drinking lots of water and eating more. As long as I can stay away from one drink then I think I will be fine.
Again, amazing to hear from you guys.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Welcome to SR! If you think you will be going through withdrawals then you might want to talk with a doctor. Withdrawals can be very serious.
You have found an internet site with people that totally get you and understand what you are going through. Post ANY time you need help, advice or just plain company from people that have been there or are currently there. SR works because we all work together.
You have found an internet site with people that totally get you and understand what you are going through. Post ANY time you need help, advice or just plain company from people that have been there or are currently there. SR works because we all work together.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
Hi OsT
Welcome
You've made a good choice in coming here now. This is a great place - yuo'll find a lot of support here.
Please do listen to Horselover tho - withdrawal is fine for most...but occasionally there are complications. I did not see a doctor and I wish now I had. Give it some thought
D
Welcome
You've made a good choice in coming here now. This is a great place - yuo'll find a lot of support here.
Please do listen to Horselover tho - withdrawal is fine for most...but occasionally there are complications. I did not see a doctor and I wish now I had. Give it some thought
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Never forgot
Welcome to the family of SR ,
Never forgot what Least wrote when I first showed up here ,
"Congrats on deciding to stop drinking . Stopping now means eliminating that huge pile of risk from drinking. All the bad things that can happen WON"T happen if you stop now. Are you doing anything else for support in your sobriety ? "
I wish you well. Sobriety rocks !
SR has been a big, big help for me the last five weeks
Never forgot what Least wrote when I first showed up here ,
"Congrats on deciding to stop drinking . Stopping now means eliminating that huge pile of risk from drinking. All the bad things that can happen WON"T happen if you stop now. Are you doing anything else for support in your sobriety ? "
I wish you well. Sobriety rocks !
SR has been a big, big help for me the last five weeks
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Hi Ost,
Welcome!
I think it's great that you recognize that you have a serious problem and are seeking support. The denial involved in addiction is huge so take action and know that things don't have to get worse. My mind was completely caught up in the obsessive thinking of an alcoholic and it was wonderful to be free from that.
Welcome!
I think it's great that you recognize that you have a serious problem and are seeking support. The denial involved in addiction is huge so take action and know that things don't have to get worse. My mind was completely caught up in the obsessive thinking of an alcoholic and it was wonderful to be free from that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 10
Hey anna
It's not just denial, I find there is a lot of ignorance or just bad education about it. I didn't even think that alcholism existed until someone I knew closely became one. I didn't even take it seriously.
I'm just looking forward to a life when I am not drinking, and not screwing things up for myself and other people. You're right, things don't have to get worse, they can get better instead.
It's not just denial, I find there is a lot of ignorance or just bad education about it. I didn't even think that alcholism existed until someone I knew closely became one. I didn't even take it seriously.
I'm just looking forward to a life when I am not drinking, and not screwing things up for myself and other people. You're right, things don't have to get worse, they can get better instead.
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