plandr

Okay, I'm sorry if I'm breaking some rules by just posting this here, but this is my situation.

I'm 23 years old and I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. I started drinking 4.5 years ago in undergrad and at first it was just every other weekend. Then it became every weekend. Then three days a week. Four. Five. Now it's almost every day. I drink on average 5 or 6 days a week. Sometimes I just get a nice buzz from drinking 4 or 5 shots mixed in coke or something. Sometimes I get so wasted I don't feel right all day. It's getting worse.

I attend one of the most prestigious business schools in the country. I'm at the top of my class. I have an internship that's pro-rated to pay me 90k a year. As a result of these things when I tell people I'm a functional alcoholic no one takes me seriously. They think I'm joking around. "You're just a social drinker." they tell me.

But it's getting worse. I'm drinking right now. After I type this I'll probably go and drink some more. I'm not at the 6-8 drinks per day everyday that I've read defines an alcoholic. But I'm getting there. It's screwed up because I can't stop drinking even when I try to.

I run 5 miles a day, study 30 hours a week. I used to be 280 pounds in high school and decided I would lose the weight and just did it. Got down to 180 in 9 months. I'm engaged to a beautiful woman. My whole life every decision I've made has been in one ear and out the other. I just do whatever I want to and I don't have a problem doing it, no matter how hard it is.

But I can't stop drinking. I don't know why but I can't. If anyone could refer me to some sort of plan or way to ween myself off of alcohol that would be great. I don't want this to become a problem. I just want to deal with it now but I try and go cold turkey but I never make it more than 7-10 days.

Thanks

Dee74

Hi Plandr

Welcome

You certainly sound a lot like me - the gradual increase, the inability to stop...

There is no set definition that says 6-8 drinks makes anyone an alcoholic as far as I know. To me it's not how much we drink, but what happens when we do, and how much we *want* it.

In any case, you already know this is not normal.

Most people probably try AA first - it's pretty much everywhere and lots of people here owe their lives to it - but it's not the only way.

Here's some of the main recovery programmes to look at:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

and...stick around.

You'll find a lot of support here.
D

Toronto68

Plan, I think 6 drinks per day sounds alcoholic too, but the addiction comes in a lot of ranges and frequencies. The progression you described in your consumption does concern me, so I think it is good that you are questioning what is going on.

Losing 100 pounds is certainly a dramatic change. Ordinarily I would probably point to that as encouragement for quitting, but I see that you draw a distinction between the two efforts.

I can't answer how to find the solution to quit in one reply. I notice you don't expand on things that bother you or what must be tied to the drinking. Except maybe the part about decisions and being able to stick with them, maybe there is something behind that. I don't exactly have "counselling" qualifications, but it seems like people begin to make progress at staying quit when they peel back the onion. As far as quitting goes, you can work on that by immersing yourself in the topic of addiction through meetings or using this site. I suppose most people go for years avoiding those suggestions for years. That's what a lot of people here have done (I did).

As you click through other responses you get, hopefully you will delve into the subject and gain some quitting strength.

betterlate

It has been during some of my most demanding academic and professional stints that I drank the most. Somehow the tension and striving to achieve led to a great desire to drink, a desire that I usually entertained at least weekly with great consumption of alcohol. Also, not sure about you, but "Friday night beer busts" were quite common in those environments.

So I don't think it's particularly strange that you are responding to your environment by wanting to drink. What is unusual in those types of settings is not going along with the crowd and finding a different way than drinking to unwind. I've been finding yoga, bike riding, even just walking around the neighborhood as useful techniques to reduce stress, burn off tension and recreate in the short term.

Also,

plandr

Thanks everyone.

I did drink tonight and I feel awful. But I'm going to go to sleep and read the link that were recommended tomorrow. My post about losing 100 lbs was just because I was trying to illustrate that normally I can make changes in my life pretty easily but this has been difficult. I think the college life has been a factor that has facilitated drinking but now I drink even alone.

I'll figure it out though. Thanks for the quick help, recommendations and support.

NEOMARXIST

Hi Mate. It sounds like you have a lot going for you by all accounts. But you have found as many people do that the drinking is just in a different league, in terms of being able to knock on the head and stay stopped. That is probably because you are an alcoholic.

In my experince what differentiates an alcoholic, or someone who is gonna have real trouble staying stopped, is the drinking alone to get wasted. Using booze purely as a drug to get in the bloodstream as quickly as possible and change mood. As my alcoholism progressed I would prefer to drink alone as it was less hassle. No getting arrested or making a total fool in public etc. Saying that, even drinking alone I managed to lose my driving license for 2 years for drink-driving. So I was just a liability when alcohol was mixed in the end!

If you are an alcoholic then the only way is total abstinance 'just for today'. Also you will need to embrace and 'work' some form of recovery program to change your attitute and outlook on life, so that drinking is no-longer something which appeals to you anymore. As has already been mentioned there are lots outthere and if you don't like certain parts then mix and match and find what works for you. You may have the ability to be able to do that as you aren't at chronic endstage alcoholism yet.

But recovery from alcoholism can only come with total acceptance that you're an alcoholic. What anyone else says reallly isn't important. NO-one will want to know you when you're down and out! That's the reality of the situation and that's the reality of alcoholism. It always gets worse and will always eventutally rob everything from you, including your life eventually.

By the way I got sober at 23 and I am 24 now with 10 months sober. So it can be done but you have to want it badly and be willing to dedicate your life to your recovery from alcoholism.

All The Best

least

As Dee said, it isn't how much you drink or what you drink, it's what happens to you when you drink. It sure sounds like you've got a problem. You'd be smart to give it up now, before it gets even worse.

Welcome to SR!

DayTrader

The amount and how often you drink don't really confirm alcoholism or not. Some alcoholics drank substantially more than others... that doesn't make those who drank less (or less often) any "less" alcoholic. Having ONE baby vs having twins/triplets/etc doesn't make the mother with the one child any less pregnant.

Wanting/needing to drink. The inability to stop after the first one or couple. Feeling guilt and/or shame about your drinking. (and this is a biggie---) Not being able to "stay" stopped once you stop.

I'm an AA guy. The "program" (working the 12 Steps) saved my butt. I too was a "functioning" alcoholic. Truth is.....most alcoholics ARE functioning alkies. It wasn't until I got into recovery that I started to see just how poorly my level of functioning really was.

We get here from a million directions... some of us drank "because" of crappy childhoods, to forget pains, to "check out" for a while, to relax, to get "up," to sleep at night, to fit in, to avoid fitting in, etc etc etc... HOW and why is important but not nearly important as knowing IF (or THAT) you're an alcoholic and doing something about it.
Recovery is the coolest and best thing I've ever done. If you want it, you can have it too.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

The reason you can't stop drinking even though you've decided to do it, is because you're an addict. There is no logic in addiction. But, know that you can do this and we are here to offer support.

You said that you've stopped for 7 - 10 days in the past, but then go back to drinking. Drinking is a symptom. It's a symptom of the underlying problems and when you stop drinking, you need to look within and work on the problems that led you to drinking and numbing your feelings. It's a difficult journey, but so worthwhile.

Ronan

Mate, sounds like you're destined for great things. If you're an alcoholic, it's safe to say that you will get worse. Soon you won't be getting the same buzz off the same amount of drinks and will have to drink more and more. Eventually it will catch up with you and will be extremely detrimental to your life.

Now you have a chance to quit for good and stay sober and do great things. It's not about how much you drink - it's about how and why you drink. I got sober just over 30 days ago, 10 days before I turned 25 by the way so I can understand the mindset of being too young etc for this to be happening to you.

I went the AA route. If you checked out a meeting - all you gotta do is sit and listen - I think you'd like it. No pressure, and you can go whenever you feel like it. They can be really inspiring.


Good luck anyway mate, hope you stick around.