bananagrrrl

This will be the first time he has gone out of town during my 5 months of sobriety. Being alone was a trigger for me. He will be gone until Sunday.

I am going to go to a bunch of meetings, meet with my sponsor on steps 4 & 5, go shopping, take my dog for a walk in the park, see a friend, watch movies and post on SR. I have to stay busy or I am worried I will drink.

Any other suggestions? Am I the only one that sees this as an opportunity to drink?

Dee74

Hi Nan

I think many of us would have seen that as an opportunity to drink - in the old days.

But you have a good programme, lots of people to lean on and things to do now.
Don't let the fear get ya.

Just cos we have a trigger doesn't mean we have to fire the gun.

You can get through this and be stronger for it.
I believe you can do it Nan

D

Anna

Oh that was a HUGE trigger for me too. Wow, it was hard.

It sounds like you're prepared and have made lots of plans!

Horselover

You are pulling out the tools that have made you sober for 5 months. Add some new ones if you think it will help. Staying busy is good. Do you like to go to the movies? Do you have friends from AA that you could do something with after the meetings?

You'll be fine and of course, post an S.O.S. here if you need to.

suki44883

I've always kind of seen these occasions as a kind of "where the rubber meets the road" scenario. I mean, with no one around to stop you, you would be free to consume as much alcohol as you want and no one would ever know. BUT...if you truly desire to live a sober life, there is nothing that will stop you from doing that. You have 5 sober months under your belt and these next few days alone will be the test as to whether you are doing all of this for you, or to please other people. Hang in there. You can do this!

Flip77

I to would go to the store the minute my wife would leave the house even for a few hours. Now today is my first day of sobriety so I know that I may not have much advice for you but she will be at her weekly Wednesday womens club tonite for about four hours and I share the same fear as you. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

NEOMARXIST

I used to see any oppurtunity to drink! Let alone home alone!! Damn right I used to drink during home alone time. I would have been planning the binge meticulously for a few weeks and the second I woke up ( I would wake early with excitement) I would be around the shop filling up my rucksack with booze and packets of ciggies. I would have usually mail ordered my favourite 'legal' highs and waiting for the postman to drop them off and then I would be on the phone when i was drunk to a dealer to pick up some Coke to throw into the mix. SO yes I can relate. My music would go on and that would be me done for 36 hours. I would kiss the sky in ecstacy and I would roll around on the floor in agony.

I think most alcoholics/addicts could probably relate to having nobody but yourself to answer to as being a good test of your sobriety. If you really want to stay sober then you will do. Just remember if you start feeling old thoughts of picking up/rationalising creep in then make sure you get them out!! Either on SR or phone somebody from AA to talk it through.

Just keep working your recovery and keeping in contact with other recovering alcoholics and addicts and you'l be fine.

Peace

vegibean

You're doing great already by coming here and sharing. You seem to have all your tools and are using them, EXCELLENT!!!!! I bet you'll do great.

ANEWAUGUST

That would be my knee jerk reaction whenever I was "home alone", and the thought still crosses my mind., although now it is a passing thought.

Your recovery progress is shining Bananagrrrl when you can come here and post about your thoughts instead of acting on them.

The last opportunity I had to be home alone, I made a point to accomplish one task that I had been putting off, as well as treating myself to something I normally wouldn't.

Is there anything you would love to do that you haven't had the opportunity to do..dinner and/or dessert and coffee with a friend, a massage, haircut, manicure or pedicure? If there is, take this opportunity to be treat yourself in sobreity!

coffeenut

This was just a HUGE flashback a couple of years ago. When my husband was gone.....oooh....I could really tie one on! Like others said, I would plan the damn thing.

The first time I was alone it was strange....but like everything else I've learned in sobriety, it gave me strength. It let me grow.

I'd say find different routines for when he is gone. Treat yourself! And, be very proud of what you have accomplished now, and what you continue to accomplish.

Let us know how it goes!

bbr

I just went through a similar event a few weeks ago, when I too was at 5 months. My wife was gone on a trip for 10 days. This time, instead of making plans to drink, I made plans to work on my hobbies, do some projects around the house, have some nice dinners out with friends (I'm OK with that, even if they do have a few drinks), take walks with the dog, play soccer, log onto SR etc. The time flew by and one of the best parts was not having to answer a late evening call from my dear wife while totally sloshed You can do it... one day at a time.

BBR

loveon2legs

Hi BG.. Pamper yourself!!!! do some things you haven't done or had the time to do for yourself...When my hubby went away for a couple of days recently that's what I did, felt so good..get a mani/pedi..go shopping..get or give yourself a nice facial..go to bed early with a good book or magazine!! ENJOY celebrate yourself!! and all that you are!! and of course come on SR we're here!!!

bdiddy5522

I don't see it as an opportunity to drink. I see it as an opportunity to stay sober. I know you can do it. And just think how good you will feel about yourself when he gets home on Sunday and you didn't have a drink. Your next Monday will be MUCH more enjoyable having made it as opposed to having caved. Keep us posted. I know you can do this.

bananagrrrl

Thank so much everyone!

I should be getting my amazon order for FIVE books I ordered. I love to read. A pedicure is a great idea. I think I might treat myself to a new outfit too.

loveon2legs

FIVE books!! that's awesome BG!! a book a day!!!?? reading is something that I missed while drinking..I have devoured books since my sobriety!! I really forgot how much I loved to read!! can't wait to get some reading in during my 4 day holiday coming up!!!...reading on a holiday...something I haven't done in a very long time!!!

ENOY!! oh and enjoy shopping!!! and your pedi!!!

bbr

OK, so a pedicure and clothes shopping weren't on my list, (not typical guy things), but looks like you've got the idea Enjoy your free time.

BBR

yeahgr8

Make sure you do go to lots of meetings and do ring/meet your sponsors...this is one of those times that you would be fine because of working ALL the steps and getting your spiritual awakening and the mental obsession would have been removed regardless of the situation...but you haven't finished the steps yet so keep yourself very busy!

On a side note why haven't you finished the steps btw, what are your sponsors waiting for?

bananagrrrl

Yeag, I have no idea. We are doing steps four and five on Sunday. I guess she just wants to make sure I am ready?

I am going shopping at Ann Taylor Lofts outlet tomorrow after work and then a meeting! I am treating myself this weekend. I just started "Shutter Island" the book also.