harleyluv

Well I'm working tonight. Going to have to deal with all the other dancers pushing booze on me. I was able to say no last night. I hope I keep my will power up tonight.

Anna

I wouldn't have been able to do that, for sure.

I wish you well tonight, Harley!

aasharon90

Changes in recovery for me had
to begin with moving away from
people places and things associated
with alcohol, poison, drinking.

Dont know about ur story so
share a little bit about urself
here so we can follow.

There will be some experiences
strengths and hopes we can
share with u as u travel along
ur journey.

Hi Im Sharon and Im an alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that and u I am truely grateful.

NewBeginning010

All of the best tonight. Do you have a plan/program to help you?

Take Care,

NB

harleyluv

Well iam a mother and wife. I have been an exotic dancer for a year. U can imagine the drinking and drugs that goes on in the dressing room. I haven't. Touched drugs and never will but the alcoholism took controle of me. Once I figured out I had a prob. I quit. It took a year to realize it though. I thought I had it under control because I never drank outside the club. the withdrawals were terrifying. I dnt want to be that person anymore. I know with the proper support I can dance and not drink.

artsoul

I also drank "on the job." I'm a painter and thought that alcohol helped loosen me up. The problem was that it also hindered me because I would feel even more anxious/tired the next day, so I found myself drinking to get over the effects of drinking.

It's really awesome that you were able to stay sober last night. It feels so good waking up in the morning just knowing you didn't drink the night before, so just try to keep that feeling with you.

harleyluv

Oh and no I don't have a plan tonight. I guess i will just try to stay away from it.I know that everyone I work with are not real friends. I also know they will try to force me to drink but I will try my best to not give in and just stay away from them.

TTOSBT

Harley
I wish you the very best in your resolve. I can only imagine how hard that is with the two going hand in hand.

I am curious though, why did you start dancing? Was it because you had to ($$) or because you want to? I am just wondering if you are going to have a hard time dancing without the alcohol. Be open to the possibility that in sobriety some doors close. The great news though is that others always open

Welcome to SR!!!!

ElegantlyWasted

Good luck. Alot of people need a total change of environment to really make it work... If you need the money go for it. I find it hard to believe you actually enjoy it if you are hapily married? Any other vocational possibilities in a better environment. Having been around that crowd, I know it can be a recipe for disaster if you can't figure out a way to make it just a job. The jobs in and of itself cam become an unhealthy escape. Still I know girls who have used it to pay for college and done very well. Some of them even found benefactors (I personally think that's a little sleazy, but if you have two consenting adults...). A lot of sleazy insecure guys as well who try to buy people and friendships. Just my experience with the Biz; had at GF that waitressed at a "gentleman's" club. Favorite memory was Billy Gibbons of ZZ top crawling under a table and passing out.

harleyluv

I want to thank u all for being so kind. It's nice to know I have someone to talk to. My husband thinks my drinking isn't a prob cause its not at home. So he doesn't help much when I m trying to say no. Pour man has no clue.

harleyluv

No I am not happy with my job but I need the money. My husband and I both work. Being that we have kids I have to work nights and the club is close to home. If I worked some where else my husband couldnt finish school and we would loose our house. So this is my only option for now.

harleyluv

Oh and Eleagantlywasted I would appreciate it if u were a little more understanding. I'm not sleazy. It is just a job to me.

TTOSBT

Ok, so if this is truly what you believe, then you are going to have to find a way to stay sober in spite of the environment. It can be and has been done. It just might be a bit more difficult.

And as far as the husband not having a problem with it because it is not at home, his thinking is very short sighted and self centered, in my opinion. Regardless, this disease is progressive and there is only so long that you can keep it contained to certain areas of your life.

You are making the best decision for your life but it is going to be near impossible in your situation without some support. Have you considered AA or another recovery program? I can not begin to tell you how much it helps to be able to share your experiences and troubles with another alcoholic. If you decide to try, I would suggest a woman's meeting to start. In those rooms you can share openly and honestly about yourself.

Keep coming back

Dee74

Hi Harley

Welcome to SR

I was a gigging muso for many years, so I know the pressures to conform to the lifestyle.

I found it was possible to do my job and not drink, but I had to be very hard on myself...I had to believe that even one drink could, or would, start the cycle again.

Eventually I stopped playing - for a number of reasons - but one of the chief reasons was I was a non drinker in a very ramped up drinking environment.

I wasn't tempted anymore but it was always a tension and not a comfortable fit for the new me...so I got another job.

D

smacked

I had to change my entire life to get and stay sober. I haven't regretted it yet.

aasharon90

It is comforting to know that
we dont have to go thru any-
thing by ourselves. So ur not
alone. Never hesitate to ask
for help, unlike me, who was
afraid to desturb others.

My kids were in school and
i could see them struggling
with a particular subject that
I surely couldnt help....esp if
it were math...lol

I shared with them that it was
ok to ask someone for help.
Kinda use them to get what
u need in a good way and ud
be surprised at how they would
gladly help them even if their
paths never met again.

They got the help needed to
pass and now they know its
ok to ask for help and not worry
about bothering others.

In recovery i found out that
the only people that understood
me was the fllowship of the
program itself. People just like
me learning to stay sober or
clean a day at a time.

No one outside the program
had a clue as to who r what
i was. I learned that it takes
an addict to know one.

My family and close friends
didnt have a problem with
drinking like I so i couldnt
reach out to them for support.

SR has been another tool and
lifeline in rocovery for me.

There isnt a thing i need ever
go thru alone or by myself.

There's always gonna be someone
who has experienced similar
situations as i and all i need
to do is ask for help and with
them sharing their own experiences
strengths and hopes with me
helps me a great deal.

When one door closes another
window or door opens for us.

With u sharing here, u may
get suggestions to guide u
along to finding a healthier,
safer, secure job to help ur
family. And one that will be
positive for u and ur recovery.

harleyluv

Getting nervous. Almost time for work. I keep having these thoughts of... maybe I'm able to control the amount I drink now. Maybe I could have just a little. I know I can't though. It's so weird to fight with myself.

ElegantlyWasted

Harley.... Never meant to imply that you were, just the environment in general. Just wish you had other options. Have been in that scene and understand it pretty well. I had no issues with my girlfriend at the time working there as I trusted her and she had fewer addictive tendencies than I did. Did take longer than planned to graduate as she did like to party.... Sounds like you're medicating to be able to do something you would rather not?

harleyluv

Woo hoo made it without a SIP.

Dee74

good stuff Harley.

It's know it can be pretty exhausting to do that night after night tho unless you're really determined - I hope you're set, but if you find yourself wavering, do think about a recovery programme like AA or SMART or something...sometimes it's that little extra bit of support that makes it, you know?

D