I think I've heard it all...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 33
I think I've heard it all...
A coworker recently noticed that I wasn't drinking at a happy hour (I've been in recovery for almost 5 months). I explained that I didn't drink anymore and he proceeded to tell me that his wife, who was about to get her MS in Counseling, said the new thinking on alcohol abuse was moderation or a stepped down approach to quitting. I've never heard such a load of crap! Has anyone else? It just shows how much misinformation about this addiction is out there and how people who don't suffer from it really don't understand it. Stay strong everyone!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
I know that I couldn't do either of those two methods. I know what happens with one and what a huge struggle it would be to keep the numbers down. I tried it for years. Not worth the effort. Better off staying sober.
(BTW I have heard of that, but as I said I know what works for me and what doesn't.)
(BTW I have heard of that, but as I said I know what works for me and what doesn't.)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Jersey City
Posts: 17
This topic really hits a nerve with me.
I stopped drinking for 9 years after a really bad series of accidents, jail, etc.
Friends and family forgot how bad I was prior to these events and for the longest time got on my case about how "obessive" I was regarding alcohol and other substances.
Eventually, I had that drink and it didn't take long for me to get back to that bad place. Difference was I was older, didn't need to be out partying, and was able to hide my drinking and function with hangovers, etc.
New "friends" and family started to give me attitude and seemed to forget the person I had become while sober. I became a closet drunk, passed out most nights, and more often than I care to think about did things I never remembered but caused others to not want to be around me.
No one seemed to remember trying to make me drink, nor did much to stop me once I started again.
As bad as I got, no one except my wife thought I needed to stop drinking all together. Even the doctors encouraged moderation, until I ended up in the hospital with acute renal failure.
If moderation works for some - great. Not for me.
Chris
I stopped drinking for 9 years after a really bad series of accidents, jail, etc.
Friends and family forgot how bad I was prior to these events and for the longest time got on my case about how "obessive" I was regarding alcohol and other substances.
Eventually, I had that drink and it didn't take long for me to get back to that bad place. Difference was I was older, didn't need to be out partying, and was able to hide my drinking and function with hangovers, etc.
New "friends" and family started to give me attitude and seemed to forget the person I had become while sober. I became a closet drunk, passed out most nights, and more often than I care to think about did things I never remembered but caused others to not want to be around me.
No one seemed to remember trying to make me drink, nor did much to stop me once I started again.
As bad as I got, no one except my wife thought I needed to stop drinking all together. Even the doctors encouraged moderation, until I ended up in the hospital with acute renal failure.
If moderation works for some - great. Not for me.
Chris
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Yes, It's funny how people who aren't alcoholics try to proclaim that they know what the solution is. Just because they are proficient in counselling doesn't mean that they have got a clue about alcoholism.
It's kind of like someone advising you how to fix your car who isn't a car mechanic and has never worked on a car. Just going from a text book.
I personally believe that only another alcoholic can ever truly empathise and understand another alcoholic.
A recovering alcoholic, who is also a trained counsellor, would make a counsellor worth listening to. But a counsellor who ain't an alcoholic, really isn't in a position to be able to understand an alcoholics thinking/psyche and what will work.
However, alcohol abuse is different to alcoholism. Many people abuse alcohol and manage to cut back and moderate I'm sure. But I bet there has never been an alcoholic who has successfully managed that without being utterly miserable and depressed. Only to eventually end up worse than before.
Keep sober one day at a time. Embrace recovery each day. The only way for this recovering alcoholic.
It's kind of like someone advising you how to fix your car who isn't a car mechanic and has never worked on a car. Just going from a text book.
I personally believe that only another alcoholic can ever truly empathise and understand another alcoholic.
A recovering alcoholic, who is also a trained counsellor, would make a counsellor worth listening to. But a counsellor who ain't an alcoholic, really isn't in a position to be able to understand an alcoholics thinking/psyche and what will work.
However, alcohol abuse is different to alcoholism. Many people abuse alcohol and manage to cut back and moderate I'm sure. But I bet there has never been an alcoholic who has successfully managed that without being utterly miserable and depressed. Only to eventually end up worse than before.
Keep sober one day at a time. Embrace recovery each day. The only way for this recovering alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Cubs, I think it is malarkey too. It could be that he was rehashing whatever she mentioned in a bastardized way. I don't know what stepped down is supposed to entail. I haven't bothered to look into the topics like moderation management, and I don't even know what the success rate is supposed to be for AA anymore. I suppose it's possible for people to change and be normal drinkers after having been a problem drinker, but I have this notion in my head that this would be extremely rare.
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
I heard about that moderation method, the lady even started meeting after her DUI and some people were successful not at sobriety but at their method but it was shut down after someone in the group or it may have been that very lady got a another DUI and is behind bard for vehicular manslaughter and her defense was that she was below (not the legal limit) but the limit they allow themselves in that group which I think was like 3 drinks a day not takingg into considerations, tolerances, epoples medical histories, family histories of allcohol abuse and addiction, current and past leagal problems due to drinking, what they drink doubles triples, beer, liquer, or anything for that matter except hat they supported each other in drinking and staying under or at the 3 drink a day mark. CRAZY
<3 Dreams
<3 Dreams
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Do you know the difference between lying and bull ****?
If a person lies they have to know what the truth is...
If a person is bull shitting they have no regard whether what they are saying is true or not, it is irrelevant...it is not based on truth or fact at all, it is just..well...bull ****...
Like when men get together and chat it is a bunch of bulls and girls a bunch of hens, it is understood that what is said is not based on any beliefs of the persons involved nor may even be what they really think...it is like a testing ground for the individual to see what they sound like saying what they are saying and to guage the reaction of the others...
Don't be so surpised and of course what you heard was BS!
If a person lies they have to know what the truth is...
If a person is bull shitting they have no regard whether what they are saying is true or not, it is irrelevant...it is not based on truth or fact at all, it is just..well...bull ****...
Like when men get together and chat it is a bunch of bulls and girls a bunch of hens, it is understood that what is said is not based on any beliefs of the persons involved nor may even be what they really think...it is like a testing ground for the individual to see what they sound like saying what they are saying and to guage the reaction of the others...
Don't be so surpised and of course what you heard was BS!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
They don't get the powerlessness thing... at all... it seems. That controlling one's drinking is really, over the long haul, is much more difficult and fraught with pitfalls, like RELAPSE, than just quitting the drink... We don't need alcohol to live... Maybe overeaters can benefit from moderation... but not alcoholics.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
It is truly scary to learn about how little the medical profession knows about alcohol/addiction in general.
I am truly amazed how uncomfortable my new found sobriety seems to make people that are still drinking. Its like they feel guilty for drinking & need me to as well regardless of the dire consequences I would face.
Whatever though... that's their thing :smile
I am truly amazed how uncomfortable my new found sobriety seems to make people that are still drinking. Its like they feel guilty for drinking & need me to as well regardless of the dire consequences I would face.
Whatever though... that's their thing :smile
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by chicubs1 
...the new thinking on alcohol abuse was moderation or a stepped down approach to quitting. I've never heard such a load of crap! Has anyone else?
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST
Yes, It's funny how people who aren't alcoholics try to proclaim that they know what the solution is. Just because they are proficient in counselling doesn't mean that they have got a clue about alcoholism.
It's kind of like someone advising you how to fix your car who isn't a car mechanic and has never worked on a car. Just going from a text book.
I personally believe that only another alcoholic can ever truly empathise and understand another alcoholic.
A recovering alcoholic, who is also a trained counsellor, would make a counsellor worth listening to. But a counsellor who ain't an alcoholic, really isn't in a position to be able to understand an alcoholics thinking/psyche and what will work.
However, alcohol abuse is different to alcoholism. Many people abuse alcohol and manage to cut back and moderate I'm sure. But I bet there has never been an alcoholic who has successfully managed that without being utterly miserable and depressed. Only to eventually end up worse than before.
Keep sober one day at a time. Embrace recovery each day. The only way for this recovering alcoholic.
It's kind of like someone advising you how to fix your car who isn't a car mechanic and has never worked on a car. Just going from a text book.
I personally believe that only another alcoholic can ever truly empathise and understand another alcoholic.
A recovering alcoholic, who is also a trained counsellor, would make a counsellor worth listening to. But a counsellor who ain't an alcoholic, really isn't in a position to be able to understand an alcoholics thinking/psyche and what will work.
However, alcohol abuse is different to alcoholism. Many people abuse alcohol and manage to cut back and moderate I'm sure. But I bet there has never been an alcoholic who has successfully managed that without being utterly miserable and depressed. Only to eventually end up worse than before.
Keep sober one day at a time. Embrace recovery each day. The only way for this recovering alcoholic.
I'm new here and I agree with what you said and found it interesting. I thought maybe you could help sort some things out for me. I have a drinking problem, whether I abuse alcohol or am an alcoholic, the bottom line is I want to stop. I don't think drinking in moderation works. Personally for me quitting smoking in moderation after everything I tried is the best way for me. Instead of thinking of smoking every 15 min. I now think of my next one every four hours, and my desires and thoughts about it are much less. However drinking, planning a drink, desiring one wasn't always an issue. But when I start I can drink half a case a beer, I've moderated, but more often than not once I have one I have way way too many. The end result is I get sick, maybe alcohol posioning after reading up on it, in addition it triggers my anxiety attacks. I stopped for three weeks but I find my other addiction more overpowering to overcome, but I am very well aware I need help to continue on my road to recovery! I'm very glad to have found this site.
RMK
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 142
thank you so much for starting this thread! I have been cruising the site for a few days and this prompted me to finally take the plunge. I too am fearful of people "reassuring" me that I may have abused alcohol on one occasion, but it isn't what constitutes a problem. It is hard for me to say that I choose not to drink -eliminating the possibility to ever place myself in a bad situation,without them wanting me to confess to being what their standard of a raging alcoholic is. I did not drink everyday or too excess every time when I did. But getting in trouble one time with the law was it for me. I am so glad that you all are sharing so freely. Thanks for the present and future support. Seems like a really great group in recovery here.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Originally Posted by Mark75
We don't need alcohol to live... Maybe overeaters can benefit from moderation... but not alcoholics.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
There's a TON of money to be made in the "softer gentler" approach. And let's not forget, since they won't work the first couple times, you'll have to keep paying and paying and paying to try it again.
For me, I found more recovery in AA than anywhere else and it's FREE. I wonder how many chancellors or therapists will take my call at 3am.......for free?
For me, I found more recovery in AA than anywhere else and it's FREE. I wonder how many chancellors or therapists will take my call at 3am.......for free?
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