Hello Everyone. 28 Yr Old Here.
 

Hello Everyone,
This is my first post here and I am finally ready to come on and tell my story. It's not terribly interesting but here it goes. It will help me a lot to just simple say it.
I am 29 years old. I had my first drink at 19. From 19 to 23 I drank regularly, not everyday. I enjoyed it socially and also drank alone. My initial draw to it was that it helped with my insomnia. I would have 2 drinks and go to sleep in a wonderful slumber. I could not do this on any given night as easily as I could do it. To this point I considered myself a completely manageable drinker. And as I sit here now I still think that I was. I grew up it Sacramento, California with a wonderful, close-knit group of friends and family.
In 2006 I moved with my wife to Dallas, Texas so she could complete her masters degree. I had always been a homebody and a "mama's boy" I'll say. I was terrified of moving but we had been together for three years so I took the plunge. I was shellshocked by how difficult this move was for me. I was happy with my wife, but missed my friends and family terribly and found myself despising my new city/surroundings.
Since moving here my drinking has increased from 3-4 drinks a night up to 5-10 drinks a night. And I do mean 350+ days out of the year. I used to vary between wine, beer, and vodka but for the past year vodka has been my choice since it gives that *bite* and the quick buzz. There have been half a dozen occasions where I lost control/mild black out and humiliated myself. The first few were with my wife, kept under wraps but the last two were in front of longtime friends. Yelling, crying, busted my chin open, bled all over my shirt. Woke up the next day absolutely wanting to crawl in a hole and die of humiliation. Other things I hate about the way I've lived my life the past 3 years is people at my work always telling me I look tired, waking up hung over (everyday the past year), the 30 lbs I've gained. I realized the party was over when I started (obsessively) reading online articles about alcohols effect on your health. I looked in the mirror (literally) and saw a 28 year old (no longer 21) who has been extremely unhealthy for three years. It hit me when I realized I that I have drank the quantity over a long time period for problems to start happening. I am a bit of a hypochondriac so as I sit here writing this I have anxiety pains in my stomach, convincing myself that something is already gravely wrong.
At 28 I see myself as having climbed the bad mountain and standing at the top. I can continue and start the descent or I can stop and "turn around" I'll say. When I say "turn around" I mean stop drinking and rediscover the life I had before. The past few days I have had 2 beers before I go to bed. For me this has been a minor miracle. I am continuing to cut down and I want to quit.
Mel

Yep the time goes by fast, and I'm scared I will do some sort of damage I can't reverse here. I'm really scared I'll get diabetes, or something like that.

I have never slept better than I have in sobriety.. when I drank to sleep I was merely putting my brain to sleep and passing out. I also thought my drinking was treating my anxiety.. I haven't suffered from insomnia or anxiety since I got sober.. guess what was causing both?

Welcome to SR!!! Glad to see you in chat today. :)

Welcome!

I'm glad you found us.

welcome Mel

I'm with Flutter - I sleep like a baby these days, but I always suffered from insomnia when drinking - of course the only thing that would fix it was a drink - vicious circle.

Consequently I'm not a great fan of cutting back - I'm happy you say it's working for you, but personally it just served to keep me in that circle.

I would see your doctor instead and be honest with him about whats going on...especially if you're prone to anxiety.

Hope to see you round some more :)
D

Hi Archives and welcome to SR! This is a great place to get support. What brought me here is that I found it impossible to limit my drinking for an extended period of time, and decided I didn't want to have this obsession anymore (I sure did try, though). I'm glad you're considering stopping if you can't control it and I hope you'll keep posting and reading!

Archives I am just like you. I am new to recovery and a little scared and lost. I did not know that when you quit drinking you could have insomnia or worse irrational fears of any noise you hear while sleeping. It will get better I promise!! I send you hugs!!

Hi Mel, and welcome to Sr

Sounds like you're headed in the right direction

I'd have to agree with Dee, cutting down never worked out for me either.

It was helpful in the short run , but I was constantly obsessing about drinking everyday anyway.


I've always heard; " sobriety is not for those people who need it, ....just for the people who want it."

If you're serious about wanting to quit, ..... you're in the right place.


SR has helped me so much the past 5 weeks ,

These folks can really help !!!

Hey, your story is similar to mines. Even moving out of state with wife etc.. I used to stay with her on campus and I was so bored I drank alot.

Yea Im a manageable drinker to. i drink alot "when" I'm social drinking, but when Im alone I usually may have a 6pack or more on some nights.


I'm on a 3o day withdraw. My plan is to cut down.. Only drink "socially" lightly....o knows, I might go 3 months sometimes without drinking,

I'm not hooked to the point where I need to "STOP" but I do need to get it under control....

WOW craazy. As I was typing this, I just pictured a 24 oz can of beer and my mind was telling my body to get up and go get some beer. I jumped for a minute like I was getting up to go to store.. Yea,, see its all out of habits for me...

When I drive home from work sometimes I will pull into a party store or gas station thinking Im going to get some beer then I realize Im stop drinking..


Be safe and good luck

Glad you made it here, archives - I have found SR to be a wonderful resource.

There are echoes of my story in yours, so I can appreciate some of what you're going through (new city far from home, etc...)

Since I quit 2 months ago, I now sleep like a baby (first week or two were tough, though), and feel pretty good in the morning.

Congrats on cutting down and looking for a brighter future. A good first step is probably to go see a doctor - they can point you in the right direction.

There is no upside to continued drinking - only downside. Keep us posted.

betterlife, I had similar experience with going to the store to get drinks, just because its a habit.

So now I have a new daily habit of running out to the store and getting those refrigerated starbucks mocha drinks. Not exactly as healthy as brocoli and carrots, but a lot healthier than booze!

Archives I don't have any experience cutting back, but I know it wouldn't of worked for me so I had to quit. I totally get what you mean about waking up and and regretting the night before, and worrying about my health.

Whatever you do I wish you luck. I have found a lot of inspiration on SR. Please consider sticking around.

Welcome to SR Archives! Good that you want to do something about your drinking. Quitting is probably the best option at this point.
I was 28 too when I quit, 29 now, and I can relate to the escalation of the drinking- drinking more, getting into very embarassing situations, the resulting shame, the physical deterioration. All this was accompanied by high levels of anxiety and insomnia, and much of that was caused by alcohol itself- it took a bit of time, but it definitely got a lot better. It's really worth it, and you can feel better again.

Archives, I, too drank to try to quell my anxieties. It actually has the opposite effect and makes you more anxious.

You are in the right place at SR. You will get wonderful advice and support here.

Yep: welcome. We always think that alcohol is helping with the anxiety, fear and insomnia, whereas it actually is causing them!

hi,
like many on this forum, I used insomnia, anxiety as an excuse use alcohol and found my problems only became worse, which then contributed to an escalating pattern of abuse. Since becomming sober, my problems have actually decreased! Give it a go. remember, we seldom repent of having drunk too little!