HopefulGirl

Hey there! I am new to the forum....new to finally admitting I have a problem.

I woke up yesterday after one of my usual weekend binges. The first thought that always comes into my head the morning after is "who do I need to apologize to today?" I always act like a completely different person when I get drunk, and end up doing something to get someone worried or upset.

But this time, something felt different. I was so sick of feeling this constant shame and guilt, that I decided to go on the Alcoholics Anonymous website...just to see what it is all about. I looked at the quiz that asks you 12questions to see if you have a problem...and I answered yes to 8 of them! WOW! That was a wake-up call.

I always knew I had an addictive personality, but I never considered myself to be an alcoholic because I *only* get drunk on the weekends. I thought, "doesn't everyone do this?". Well, no - they don't. Most people can control thier drinking. I can finally admit that I have no control over it. Once I decide I am going out for drinks it ends up with me getting totally wasted and blacking out, and then doing really stupid things that people have to tell me about the next day.

After I admitted it, it was like a huge weight had been lifted from me....the weight of trying to control something for years, that I can't control. It actually feels good to know why I have been struggling with this for so long.

I have decided to get sober, and I am meeting with an addictions counsellor this week. I am also going to an AA meeting. I really want to do this!!!

Thanks for listening. It feels great to have some support.

: )

loveon2legs

Hi HopefulGirl!! welcome to SR!!! and big hugs to a fellow Canadian!!!!
When I read your post I really identified myself with you...the waking up and feeling like sh**t and wondering who you had to apologize to!! dreadful feeling...I think it's wonderful you are getting counselling and going to an AA meeting...all the support really helps!! I'm 104 days sober, and feeling great!! getting and staying sober will be the best decision you have ever made!! Keep in touch with progress!!

Liz

P.S. here you guys have snow!!!!!

least

Welcome to the SR family! This place has been a life-saver for me, I hope we can help you as well.

Hevyn

Hopeful, that was very inspiring. I'm so glad you've made the decision to get the poison out of your life. I have no idea why I clung to it for so long, I was miserable and sick - yet couldn't bring myself to take that step. With SR I was no longer alone, and that meant everything to me.

Let us know how it's going - you sound so ready for a change! Be proud of yourself for reaching this decision.

NEOMARXIST

Hi there. Sounds like drinking has been causing you a lot of problems. It was like that for me too. My drinking binges were a great cause of pain and sorrow for me too. Everytime I would drink alcohol I would end up passing out after usually blacking out to some degree. The point being that I always got wasted. There was no such thing as drinking responsible or within moderation. That was impossible for me as I too came to the realisation that I'm an alcoholic.

Being a drunk brought me much shame. Being a recovering alcoholic has opened up a new chapter in my life. One which is full of hope and optimism.

SR is great. I hope you will gain as much from SR as I have.

peace and Love x

artsoul

8 Welcome Hopeful!! You're doing all the rights things so hang in there! You really can do this! SR has made all the difference for me - I came here when I was going through the crappy stuff, when I couldn't sleep, when I got a craving, etc. We all know that feeling of planning that THIS time I'm going to have a FEW and then realizing the next morning "O ****, I did it again." : It's such a relief to be done with that. Keep posting and come join the May 2010 Class. We're all new students of sobriety.

Dee74

Welcome hopefulgirl

I remember that feeling of the weight being lifted too
I'm glad you've joined us - hope to see you around some more

D

HopefulGirl

thanks so much for all your kind words and support....it means so much to finally have people who understand what I am going through. It's so hard to talk to friends about this who have never had issues controlling thier drinking.

Looking forward to getting to my first week sober (which i have NEVER done before!)

thank you!!!!

LaVallette

Welcome HG. Your username says it all...Hope was something I had thought I'd lost after many "dry-spells" but repeatedly falling over...this site and AA have given that most precious of things back to me... HOPE.

You are not alone!

NewBeginning010

We are all here with you & hopeful about your new found sobriety & sober life.

You can do this

Digger

The last sentence sya it all, 'You really want to do it' if thats the case you have the best start going, good luck and get all the help you can.