Notices

NA 1 meeting back in YEARS VERY Dissapointment This Evening

Old 05-08-2010, 09:31 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Thread Starter
 
Dream2bClean's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
Thumbs down NA 1 meeting back in YEARS VERY Dissapointment This Evening

I went to my first NA meeting in about 6 years today. It was held at an olf firehouse basement my old home group and the meeting I used to adore. Not one person was still there from back in the day. I announced my name and that I was a newcomer (6 years out of the rooms) and my name. It was a younger guys (most of the atnedees were younger...maybe a dozen adults (over 20 somethings) it was a guys 3 year anniv which I respect VERY much but the entire meeting was about him.
Therewe only about 12 girls (out of about 50 people) and I would say maybe 3 were like me in their 30's or above all were def. younger 20 somethings.
It was very discouraging when at the end I stood there with an open small notebook for names and phone numbers which I desperately need and only 1 girl (after I accepted a white keychain even) introduced herself, did not give me her #, I used the rest room and every other girl had left.
No introductions, no names, no #'s I left with nothing but a keychain and a few welcomes from the older gentleman, but of course didnt get their phone #'s as the rules go.
I know it takes time to find the right group and am not going to get upset b.c that used to be my favorite group and my first back in a very long time for drug problems I never had (MUCH WORSE NOW IV USE) than I ever did befroe even though I do understand it doesnt matter what you use to have the same addictions but I really needed a couple #'s and it want easy and I am sure is not for anyone to go back to their first meeting.
I will go back, maybe not to that meeting, i am going to church, and taking ym daughter with a friends mother tomorrow morning (which I also havent done it YEARS AND YEARS) looking for sme support or just a good word there to help me quit drugs and alcohol.
I have a meeting I will go to on Mon night literally right up the street from my home at a church that when I used to go had a lot of older woman who had bee with the program a long time when I used to go so hopefully if they arent there at least some adult woman will be there.
I am hoping it was just Sat night and I didnt look to great b/c I went last min and just threw on some clothes lying around and all these girls - the one that inrroduced herself to me looked like young 20 something supermodels and like I said not 1 even welcomed me. What happened there, isnt the newcomer still the most important person in the meeting or has NA reall become completely materialistic and clicquie like HS?
I really hope thats not the case with the meeting Monday. Maybe I have to go to the meetings with the other desperates at the local mental (sorry I know thats not the right word) detox type hospitals near me that have meetings, or maybe although NA was my preference when I went to both AA and NA and drugs are certainly my main problem, but maybe AA will be better for me. Any thoughts? Is this just my area, or did I jsut go to the wrong meeting on an offnight for me?
I understand a 3 year anniversay but should the ENTIRE meeting be dedicated to them and onkly about 4 other epople spoke for about 1 minute tops about their burning desires and some people there were also reaching out for help BAD and no one approached them after the meeting and they were make so I didnt either.
I am at a loss with this...PLEASE HELP! <3 Dreams
Dream2bClean is offline  
Old 05-08-2010, 09:45 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I'm sorry this happened tonight.....

I know I perfer some AA meetings to others
I kept going until I found one that suited me.

I lived in D.C. then so there were plenty of meetings.
I like early morning meetings best...

I did "meeting shop" for awhile.
I'm pleased to see you are going to do the same!
CarolD is offline  
Old 05-08-2010, 09:52 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Sorry you were disappointed, Dream.
I'm not an AAer or NAer but I agree with Carol - if you're not satisfied, shop around

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 05-08-2010, 10:05 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Go to AA as well, you obviously need all the help you can get and you might find you prefer the atmos, i know druggies that perfer AA and drunks that perfer NA...find the meeting you feel comfortable in i guess!

I didn't really have any more options when i went to AA, even as a clearly insane individual i realised that i had tried it all, so no more looking for quick fixes from church, rehab, antabuse, anti depressants, counselling, psychologists, psychiatrists, geographicals, career changes, new relationships, gyms, eating plans, moderation, type of drink etcetc...i had done it all and was ready to get a sponsor and work the steps...

If you are at the same place then someone will be put in front of you as long as you keep going to meetings and looking, if you aren't sure about NA/AA there are a host of other things you can try to kill time, then get back again to NA/AA later if the drink/drugs don't kill you first:-)
yeahgr8 is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 12:55 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 453
Thanks for the share, I too had to go to a number of different meetings before I found one that I "Clicked" with. Try a different day, time or location. Please let me know what you find.
Thanks!
SeekSobriety is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 03:04 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kmber2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Dream.....I am sorry that you haven't found what you are looking for at this point. Keep on going with search and I am sure you will find that right fit.

For me, I needed counseling. I wasn't always a drunk but I surely needed counseling to overcome grief and loss. Sadly, I didn't because I was always that strong person who helped everyone else so why can't I fix me. The pain was overwhelming and an abusive relationship did not help it that is for sure. Instead of addressing my pain, I self-medicated and well we all know how that goes.

I had to let go of pain that I had and I shopped much like you around to counselors. Finally, I checked into mental health on base and my sessions are 100% helping me.

Point is to not give up and to find what works for you. We are all different and you have many choices. They all serve a purpose.

Wishing you well my friend.
Kmber2010 is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 01:26 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Raleigh NC
Posts: 100
I am in AA and probably 50% of the people in my meetings did both Alcohol and others drugs. Many of the folks whose DOC wasn't alcohol simply like AA better. Some identify themselves as and "alcoholic" and some as an "alcoholic addict."

While our group keeps it mainly to alcohol some that drank and drugged or just drugged say "when I was out there" or "when I used"....The bottom line is we are united with a common cause which is to help each other live a sober life. I think you might want to hit some AA meetings if you don't find luck in NA. I have not been to NA but many seem to like it. I do find a lot of folks coming to AA from there though. Maybe it's just because there are more meeting options??
Good Luck!
ghal is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 05:22 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Thread Starter
 
Dream2bClean's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
Thanks Guys! Went to church with a friend today for the first time in years, will go to an old NA meeting I used to like yers ago when I went and if I find it to be the same sit. as the other nights meeting its off to NA for, after a lot of thining with an abviously much clearer head I think A may have been my bigger problem for me b/c that always lead me to craving and doing the N's.
I will keep looking and thank you all for your responses and that was exactly my plan, just keep going and looking, I dont thnk the church I went to today was the "right" one for me either but I still enjoyes it, my 3 and 1/2 daughter LOVED it and I know its the best gift I could have given both her and I for Mothers day EVER!
I went to the church service with a friend of mine (who uses but got to a point he told me I was out of control that he wouldnt use with me anymore and I feel bad b/c I did start him on the really bad stuff) I know he is a grwn man and makes his own choices (and he tells me that too) but I also know he NEVER would have gone the further step I tookk him too if I hadnt introduced him to it but thats what my BIL did for me and I dont blame him, I always had an interest and it ws my decision so I blme no one but myself and I am not expecting anyone to "fix " me but me but I also know I cant do it alone, but I already feel much better just to be on the path.
Today is day 1 NO drinking s I did have one big beer yesterday and they dont sell here on sunday but I became a mess (mixing it with narcs) and upset my husband and I had gotten a couple beeers for today and flushed them after doing what I did to my husband and letting my daughter see me that way.
So b/c of the small steps I am taking I can see the good things already happening. I dont feel too bad today, luckily I have been able to be distracted all morning w. church and lunch and its mothes day so my husband (he would anyway hes very sweet and supportive although he has Narc issues of his own but their his but his eyes are much more open to htem now seeing what I am trying to do)
I can see things already happening in my life b/c for lunch we went with my freinds mom (that uses) but his wife and brother and new baby (1 week old , and 3 weeks early, sooooo cute!) and they invited me to their church next week which is right near me and MUCH smaller and intimate and invited me to church with them next week! So thats how God works, putting the right people in your path as soon as you start to reach out. ITs amazing.
As far as WD's today, afther this mornings mothers day festivities, I am SUPER tired, super thirsty, have a mega headache, but thats about it and I know it chould/could be much worse for as much a I drank and for so many years. I have felt so much worse when I just tried to stop on my own before and KNOW iots becase I am at least taking steps and reaching out to God its not so bad. I am not a reeligious person by far although I sound like one, but maybe I need to be
I am long winded, a rambler, right now, whos kidding myself, oh myself I am always like this sorry, I prefer the word detailed.
Good luck to those in crisis right now, I hope this helps you in some way. I know I havent done much of anyhting yet but the little I have done has helkped SO very much I know it can for you too so if your strugginling with alcohol or any other addicction, just do something, go to a meeting, read a book about addiction (alhtough for me thats a huge trigger but I keep doing it anyway) go to churchm tlak to people, and watch what begins to happen. Its amazing.
I hope I still feel this way tomorrow
I am pretty sure I will! <3 Dreams
Dream2bClean is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 05:57 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,328
Hi Dreams,

Welcome!

I'm glad you are seeking support and that you are searching for meetings that work for you. You will also find support here and you can come online anytime here. It's good to see that you're feeling better about things.
Anna is online now  
Old 05-09-2010, 07:43 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Thread Starter
 
Dream2bClean's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
TY I am feeling MUCH better just like a HUGE ball of anxiety RIGHT NOW. Like I am almostt spinning, riunning around my house like a crazy person for my first sober night in YEARS, well not true, I had 5 days a few months ago but think I was still ujsing Narcs at the time so I didnt realise the effects of the A WD's as much.
I have a very important interview in the AM, I know its time to focus on myself and put me first and I really am trying to but this is a chance for a 95 actually 8-4 which I have not had in well my entire adult life sue to the undustry I chose and now with a 3 and 1/2 year old i need one more than ever b/c I recently worked a managemrial job (as a ssistant a huge step down for me) but recently never went back about 2 weeks ago b/c in all honesty (although it was a HORRIBLE schedule for my daughter and husband and I basically had to work 60 plus hours a week leaving him to do EVERYTHING, after him working all week in the now super HOT Southern sun outdoors doing physical labor) and then coming home to an empotionally wrecked wife that was an A and narcotic addict, shooting up, crying or bouncing off the walls about every little comment he made leaving him to everything.
So regardless I REALLY need this job it would make my life much easier. I didnt work for a year and 1/2 due to an emergency back surgery, the "economy and nott bigng able to find a job and my drug and alcohol problemns escalating and believing as soon as I got a job everything would be better, i then realised the job added more stress to our life, relationship and family, so i realoise that there are so many layers of this b/c I have to obviously get over that b/c everything time I get "the thing' I think is going o make eveything "all better" it turns out to be exactly the thing that made me worse and worse at my behaviour.
So I am no longer banking on anyhting helping me but me, finding a programn and working the steps, which i have never done before even when I went to NA on and off for a couple years had found a lot of great groups good people, never the right sponser and I am praying I do this time.
As I mentioned going to an NA meeting that about 5 years ago when I went NA there were a lot of old time woman NAers in there and I am praying they still are b/c they were not at the meeting the pther night which was a let down but I remember the last time not bieng easy either but this time I am dealing with much stronger addictions, I dont think you can compare, but I know the needle has been known to be the hardest to kick an I see why....I have literally been seeing visions of thosee danicing in my head everytime (from time to time ) when I blink, spoons and lighters etc. Its a bitch.
I am quite sure I am over the majority of WD sympoms, (I know they can literally last years) but the worst of the worst fo the symptoms of that and could for the first time in over a year be comfortable enough to wear a short sleeved shirt to church and lunch today but I was ampng the people who love me, and although they are not a part of my direct family except for my husband they are the ones (1 that even used w/ me as I mentioned above) but shoewed their concern that I was becomming a nasty full fledged junkie and were worried about me so although i still had light bruises in the crooks of my arms and I can feel my vens are all hard and bumpy (whicch I know I need to get checked out by a Dr ASAP if that doesnt go away in a day or 2 but w/o insurance I have no choice but to wait on that but then again if its a blud clot or something of course I cant wait.
Boy oh boy what have I done every minute of my day is filled with more realizations of what I have done and the hell I have made my life and pray I can overcome this. I love SR it also helped me years ago when I got 30 days clean a few times which besides my ENTIRE pregnanacy I didnt drink or use. SR was super handy during that time and I know will be vital to my recovery now.
So if you made it this far in my novel thankis for reading my babbeling, sorry I have to give my daughter (who I know is up way too late) a bath so no time to speel scheck and I am sure its horrendous b/c I dont even know why I am typing my fingers are just, flying typing my anxiety away, and it has helped so thank you!
What sis anyone do before SR at 11 PM?
Looks like I made it through day 1 no alcohol!!!!!!! Im stoked....<3 (Positive) Dreams
Dream2bClean is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 09:36 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 453
Thanks so much for sharing! I am rooting for you! Congrats on your day, great job! Good luck at the interview tomorrow. I have been out of work for a while myself and am also waiting for some news after a recent interview. I know that I did my best, now it is up to my higher power to make it happen. Of course I go out there and look for the work and take the interviews when they are available but as if it will work out, I must trust that everything will work out the way it should. I hope that this means in both our situations that we both end up getting some good quality work soon!
All the best!
SeekSobriety is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 09:50 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Thread Starter
 
Dream2bClean's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
SeekSobriety thank you so much ill keep you posted on the job thing and really and honestly wish you the best too. Now that I made it though day 1 off alcohol and 5 days off shotting drugs if I stay off I have a MUCH bettter chance of not only landing the job but KEEPING IT HAHA! Its not funny but I have to laugh b.c I am happy I did this myself its been really hard work yes i know its just been a day but I did it and I really plan to stay here.

Please do keep in touch and good luck to us! <3 Dreams (of getting this job Sober and not rushing home literally fdriving hme at 9ish in the Am driving over 100 MPH in my car to reward myself by drining all day just b.c I got theough the interview not even aring if I got the job, thank you note whats that, something I stopped doing b.c I kinda wished I didnt get the job anyway b.c that would def. get in the way of my drinking and drugging, I know I have such a long way to go but just realising that I actually thought that way is FRIGGIN UNBELIEVEABLE!!!!!) Is it not? I guess for us its not too crazy but it sounds sick, Ta Da!!!! We are sick, At least I know I am, was but I am now recoverring, IAM IN RECOVERY OMG I cant believe it, I made it to recovery, I am so happy to be recovering I know its going to be SUPER HARD but all I can say is bring it on, RIGHTNOW Iam ready.
I am goingt to be and they dont seel alcohol where I live on Sunday so I know no matter what I wont be getting any today, and I DO NOT EVEN want any I am just securing the fact that I MADE IT through day 1, b.c I am off to bed, I am SO HAPPY!!!!!!


I made 1 day no alchol, havent shot drugs in ling enough to wear short sleeves on this beautiful mothers day today and I am thrilled! I did it!

Now that hard work begins, but at least I got HERE, where that is I dont know, so digressing and rambling again and ready to kicks day 2's as* tomorrow! <3 (Grateful) Dreams!
Dream2bClean is offline  
Old 05-10-2010, 12:40 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Posts: 4
Dream2bClean,
I've read your posts and admire you for your courage/determinatoin to get clean. I joined this site a short time ago because I have a terrible problem with alcohol and pain pills. I'm trying to gather up the strength to finally quit. Please keep posting. If it's any help to you, you are helping others like myself that are on the edge of taking the step that you have. Thank you for your posts and I pray for your success.
Mark
MarkedMan2010 is offline  
Old 05-10-2010, 02:06 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kmber2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Proud of you Dream and your commitment. Take it one day at a time and post often....that so helped me those first days and well I continuously still post....I don't forget what helped me walk the line and I know now that every day is journey.

Mark - Glad to see you are reading and thinking about quitting. It can be done my friend and there really is no perfect time when you are done with living that life. Toss it and go for it. Keep in mind to update your Dr. since withdrawals vary from person to person.

I'm loving everyone choosing sobriety.
Kmber2010 is offline  
Old 05-10-2010, 03:15 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Thread Starter
 
Dream2bClean's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
C;mon Mark joim me, I need a quitting buddy here on SR (everyone here are my quitting buddies but everyone else (a lot of these supportive people are ahead of me) and we can lean on each other as we loook to them to have what they have...a life free of drugs/alcohol. I never dreamed possible for me, actually never thought about it until I found myslef hididng, literally hiding in my vloset every morning with a needle in my arm, to stop the pain of WD's just to get going for the day, to the point my veins were collapsing, I would be in my closet a bloody mess, cleaning off the blood with my beautiful suits I used to wear when I had a great job just a couple weeks ago and just never went back. This was my bottom, oh yeah and people I USED WITH and taught to use in that way (I feel very bad about this) going to my husband telling him I needed help.
I guess that would be my bottom.
I will not drink or use today (except the medication I am prescribed so I dont have a seizure from WD's) and once I am free from those meds I wil be off everything. It will bee amazing.
So join me.....Thanks for this first sober morning in years SR and God.
Lets go get this job and then Ill be back to figure out what to do before my meeting A LOT of hours away this evening, maybe Ill find an AA one sooner and try that...I have to do something.
<3 Dreams (of getting this job, and staying sober TODAY)
Dream2bClean is offline  
Old 05-10-2010, 06:00 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
dopeless hope fiend
 
augustwest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
Meetings are like a box of chocolates....

I've encountered all types of scenarios in meetings, both good and bad. I do know that the worst meeting i've ever been to was still a lot safer and healthier than the places i frequented in active addiction.

I don't know about your area, but for me there are multiple options to attend during the day and at night. It took me a bit to find the ones i like, and even those can get sideways sometimes.

I take the good with the bad, and the good has far outweighed the bad where i live. Whatever the case, i'm not going to let anyone or anything run me out of my chair in the rooms. I've found that i often learn great lessons in what not to do, both in life and in meetings, when i encounter 'bad' meetings.

Something else i've heard folks share is that if you don't like a particular meeting you could make it your homegroup and help to improve it!

Good luck finding what works for you.
augustwest is offline  
Old 05-10-2010, 06:48 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Kmber2010 View Post
Proud of you Dream and your commitment. Take it one day at a time and post often....that so helped me those first days and well I continuously still post....I don't forget what helped me walk the line and I know now that every day is journey.

Mark - Glad to see you are reading and thinking about quitting. It can be done my friend and there really is no perfect time when you are done with living that life. Toss it and go for it. Keep in mind to update your Dr. since withdrawals vary from person to person.

I'm loving everyone choosing sobriety.
Kmber2010,
I made my first post and received a bunch of encouragement. Thank you. I broke my back 5 years ago, that's when I got on the pain pills. They do me more harm than good now. You're right about the withdrawals. I have tried to quit cold and it made me really sick... Like I had the Flu. I'm afraid to tell my doc that I'm an alcoholic too because he might just cut me off due to some liability issue. I think that I can cut the pain meds down because alcohol is my drug of choice. Thank you for your comments... I am so tired of living this way.
MarkedMan2010 is offline  
Old 05-10-2010, 07:57 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Posts: 4
Dream2bClean, The title of this thread is "NA 1 meeting back in YEARS VERY Disappointment" .... You said that at that 1st meeting people ignored your presence and pain that brought you there. You also mentioned going to Church and God in your posts. Maybe there was a purpose for that?... To make you sensitive to others that you can help? Thank you for acknowledging my first post to you and encouraging me to give up drugs and drinking. I've been thinking that my only hope was to go into rehab. I can't afford the huge amount of money they cost.
I'm thankful that I found this place... It has given me some hope. The only one that can help me is myself and God.
Dream, please keep posting and encouraging others like me.
Mark
MarkedMan2010 is offline  
Old 05-10-2010, 09:33 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kmber2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
I hear ya Mark. You should post a thread telling all of us about you a bit and I found that to be a great way to get the ball rolling and to be confidence in your decision. You will be surprised just how many people are or were in your shoes. Go for it. Alcohol and pain pills can be a deadly combo. I will attest to that.
Kmber2010 is offline  
Old 05-10-2010, 12:08 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Thread Starter
 
Dream2bClean's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
Yea Mark, do tell us a little more about what brought you here et. I am in awe that I may have somehow through the haze of this past week helped somone else, but I am so sorry I dont remember your original post or responding. I just know if I am going to keep what I have I also have to give it away. (I know thats very scar tissue rhp if you know what I mean) but I find that to be VERY true with getting and staying sober.
Again this is not my first go around just my worst as I fell in the abyss of IV drug use and piking up the peies from that, well it is what it is, if really really hard to come back from.
But Ill be here for you man, thats always the PLAN anyway, I dont want to go back to my old life but it would be so easy right now...its only been a couple days but if you said I helped you in some way I agree with you something is already working and changing in my life I know church and Gof will help and there are spiritual principles in AA and NA and when I went to NA years ago i didnt really lean on them I really just went to meetings and listened, I am glad I went but above and beyond tht I just took up a chair, this time I am ready for work and to work, I never did any steps but 1 befor eand that was already decided the day I walked in.
Thank you for you post and all you guys here at SR, it means so much.
Mark what are you struggling with again? I just got off (close to) about everything plus alcohol and as I am not qualified to give you medical advice I can def. point you in the right direction if you want to do this but I can already tell you, its not going to even be east to get to 2 days, where I am, but if you can, so many things in your life will already begin to change. Its so wonderful! <3 (Flattered) Dreams
Dream2bClean is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:58 AM.