mayson28

I don't know how to deal with emotions and stresses so where to I go from here?? Everytime I think I want to get sober, I get hit with something I have to deal with so I continue drinking. Deaths, fights, my husband...

Dee74

Life is full of stresses and emotions, Mayson.

I avoided them for so long by drinking I was like a little child when I got sober. I didn't how to solve anything or even how to cope.

I had to learn to deal with life, with all its ups and downs and problems, and learn to cope without drinking.

It was hard, but I did. I'm better for it too.

Some people use a support group - either here or AA or something else. I found a lot of support here when I run into difficulties.

You'll be surprised what you can do sober when you give it a go, Mayson
D

Asta1

I think that's something we all here have in common. We used alcohol to make our problems disappear, but they don't, do they? They just submerge for a while while we are loaded then we sober up and oops! they're still there.

I have found this community VERY supportive. There are many subforums of various interests. Read through a lot of peoples posts and you will no doubt find a LOT of people going through the same things you are. Reach out to them. People here are great at sharing their own experiences and how they handled them.

For starters, throw out all the alcohol in the house. Then stock up on some beverage that you like. And snacks (preferably not too calorie ridden or you will exchange one problem for another). Anyway, reach for that other beverage and/or snack. Go for a walk. Exercise is a GREAT stress reliever. Everyone will tell you that. If the weather is bad, exercise indoors by jogging in place or doing floor exercises or whatever. Try not to wallow. It's hard. I am an expert wallower (is there such a word). I also keep a journal of my feelings. I think it helps to write them down. For me it is a release. When I go back and read them a few weeks later, sometimes it's a real awakening of how much I have improved or gone down hill. I am also female, in my late 50's with a pretty much retired lifestyle. I have a part-time CPA practice during tax season but that's about it. Having all this togetherness time with spouse is no picnic. So I'm looking into volunteering opportunities. Is that something you could do?

artsoul

Mayson - I feel for you. I hope you will grab onto the support here, because none of us can do this alone. Lately, I've been putting my faith in the hope and experience that so many people at SR have. I think it will probably take me a while before I can feel confident dealing with really big issues, but I've been able to tackle a couple little ones today. I've noticed that just a few days of sobriety has really reduced my anxiety level (I call it the "inner shakes"). I think alot of my feelings of being overwhelmed were due to the damage alcohol was doing to my nervous system. We're either going up or coming down, you know? While I was drunk I couldn't deal with much and it was even worse when I was going through withdrawals 2 or 3 times a week. When I was inbetween, I was fighting urges or planning to satisfy them. Had to finally give up.

We're here for you!

least

I see an addiction counselor once a week. She helps me with my 'life issues', how to deal with them without reaching for a drink. It's a great deal of help for me. Is counseling an option for you? Look into it... and do anything but drink.

john0000

Everything is so much harder to deal with when drunk - I know this now but doesn't stop me wanting to drink every time I come under stress iof any sort. And up until now I have. Drinking also makes you unable to face up to anything and is very easy to hide and ignore everything.

I used to have to buy little shots to have in the day to cope with stress - on top of the three large glasses of wine i would then drink in my lunch hour - followed by two double shots on the way out. Work thought it was funny and so did I at the time. That was before I left work and could drink at home for the rest of the night.

I am hoping to get through two weeks on here and then try and go and see a counsellor - I know that there are a lot of other issues that I have never managed to face and drank to keep everything under control - all that did was ended up with me never being able to be in control of drink as i keep pouring it down my neck until i can't physically take anymore.

I remember the point about 7 or 8 years ago when I was in a horrible relationship with my ex, another nasty argument, I drank a bottle of wine at 10 in the morning and thought "Well now it doesn't seem so bad, it hurts a lot less now" and so it did. Problem is now I feel worse about my drinking and trying to get control of it then I ever did about him.

I have had my little boy so I have it under some sort of control, however the anxiety and shame I feel when I wake up in the morning and I am not fresh for him is worse then anything. I stopped drinking in pregnancy and only when I started drinking again have I come to realise in the last year I have a major problem and it is not going away.

I understand where you are.

Anna

Mayson, it will get easier. I was not prepared to deal with life when I stopped drinking and I remember feeling overwhelmed. I truly believe, that if you fully accept that drinking is not an option, then healthier ways of dealing with life will come to you.

giveit2god

I have the same issue but you know what I have come to the conclusion that I want to feel again . I feel like life with no up's and downs would be boring . I am now just trying to regulate my emotions better trying not to get to up or to down but again still feel.

Sidney14

I think we can all relate to that, Right now I am going through an exteme deal of stress at work but just try to keep it in the today in the now I know it is not easy but it is easier then thinking about tomorrow ....which you have no control over ,..

Dream2bClean

I know what I am saying has been said several different ays above but to put simply, what I have been hearing at AA a lot fo rthe last week (and on here as well) and has been a bit of a mantra for me or sometimes I pose it to moyself as a question if a stressful thought comes to mind and then a beer pops into my head, no kidding I can see it.
But I ask myself would having a drink make __________ any better?
Or ask myself honestly how would having a drink right now fix _____________ situation?

Then I look a little deeper and for me have to come to terms wioth the fact that drinking at some level, for me, drinkiing for so long leading up to _________ situation probably played a part in causing the problem in the first place. Now what am I going to do to fix it? What are my options? Can I do anything right now? If I cant do anyhting right now, I give myself a break, tell myself I am working very hard on my recovery, that comes first right now, i can ignore the fact the ___________ is going on but if its something really bothing me, I cant fix it now, and I do not know what to do I decide when Ill adress it. Tomorrow right after my AA meeting when i feel more content, or when I can discuass it with my husband.

I know for me ignoring my problems is what has given me plenty of excuses to continue drinking rather than quit and hte more excuses I had the more I drank without addressing those problems and dealing with them. Especially big issues like you are dealing with, those should be dealt with personally, and quickly, b/c when they go left unadressed they seem to fester and multiply and I noticed when I let my issues go unaddressed, my drinking progressed and my disease got the best of me and started calling the shots.

I am so happy I am now learning the tools to coping with stressful situation and knowing that a drink is NOT in any way going to help things, but more than likely will make them worse.

I hope you can learn the same, as it is no easy task, but just look at so many of the successful sober people on here, they dont drink everytime something stressful happens in their lives, they deal with it using the tools they have learned and practiced.

Best of wishes in your struggles.

<3 Dream