Day 12...Story Time
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Day 12...Story Time
Im starting Day 12 today. Yesterday, I got that feeling like I wanted to drink, but I remembered my accident from a few years ago. I want to share that night.
The plan was to go camping with a bunch of friends. Me and another friend got an 18 pack each and pretty much downed everything within 3 hours. At some point I blackout. During the blackout, (according to friends)I was throwing wood into the campfire when another friend (also drunk) flipped out on me and wanted to fight. I do not fight friends (wasted or not) so, i took off. Unfortunately I took off in my car. I crashed into a tree leaving the campsite. 10 minutes later I crash again on the highway, and this time my car is completely totaled. A car stopped and see what happened. Since i'm still in a blackout at this point, i have no idea who it was or what was said. Whoever is was, gave me a ride home 45 minutes away from where i totaled my car. When i got home, apparently i didn't know how keys worked, so I used my shoulder to knock in the door. I didn't remember this either until i saw the evidence the next day. i guess i felt the need to call someone, but i left my phone in my crashed car by mistake. Still in a blackout, i get on my motorcycle an head back to the crash site. Midway through the ride, going about 120mph I snap out of the blackout. Realizing i'm about to kill myself at this speed, i slow down. Then the motor shuts off; i forgot to fill it up with gas. So there i am stranded on the side of the road, and very confused. I saw headlights, so i got in the road and waved down the car. It was the Police. I told them my bike wouldn't start and tried to get some help. The ran my plates and noticed that my bike was registered to the same person who crashed their car a few miles down the highway. They asked me about the car, and I honestly didn't remember at first. They smelled the beer, and asked me to do a test. I must have been really drunk because i couldn't even say the ABC's. At that point, i told them to take me in. I get arrested that night and go home early the next morning. When i got home, i saw what i did to my door.
It was a $1,000 to get my motorcycle and car out of the impound. I kept the bike but the car was totaled. The lawyer fee was $2,500. The court fee was $700. the DMV driver assessment was $750. Car value $5,000. Alcohol doctor for 4 months of treatment $1400. Oh yea, and lost my license for 18 months in total...
This happened in Sept xx, 2006. Jan 1, 2007 I took a sip and had been drinking ever since (up until 12 days ago). It crept its way back up over time, but by 08 i was back to my usual amount. After my accident I mainly drank it at home where i couldn't do anything stupid. And if I did something stupid, id be alone so nobody could remind me about it.
I just couldn't sit around an wait for another disaster to happen. This time it has to last...
Song of the Day...I'm Broken by Pantera
The plan was to go camping with a bunch of friends. Me and another friend got an 18 pack each and pretty much downed everything within 3 hours. At some point I blackout. During the blackout, (according to friends)I was throwing wood into the campfire when another friend (also drunk) flipped out on me and wanted to fight. I do not fight friends (wasted or not) so, i took off. Unfortunately I took off in my car. I crashed into a tree leaving the campsite. 10 minutes later I crash again on the highway, and this time my car is completely totaled. A car stopped and see what happened. Since i'm still in a blackout at this point, i have no idea who it was or what was said. Whoever is was, gave me a ride home 45 minutes away from where i totaled my car. When i got home, apparently i didn't know how keys worked, so I used my shoulder to knock in the door. I didn't remember this either until i saw the evidence the next day. i guess i felt the need to call someone, but i left my phone in my crashed car by mistake. Still in a blackout, i get on my motorcycle an head back to the crash site. Midway through the ride, going about 120mph I snap out of the blackout. Realizing i'm about to kill myself at this speed, i slow down. Then the motor shuts off; i forgot to fill it up with gas. So there i am stranded on the side of the road, and very confused. I saw headlights, so i got in the road and waved down the car. It was the Police. I told them my bike wouldn't start and tried to get some help. The ran my plates and noticed that my bike was registered to the same person who crashed their car a few miles down the highway. They asked me about the car, and I honestly didn't remember at first. They smelled the beer, and asked me to do a test. I must have been really drunk because i couldn't even say the ABC's. At that point, i told them to take me in. I get arrested that night and go home early the next morning. When i got home, i saw what i did to my door.
It was a $1,000 to get my motorcycle and car out of the impound. I kept the bike but the car was totaled. The lawyer fee was $2,500. The court fee was $700. the DMV driver assessment was $750. Car value $5,000. Alcohol doctor for 4 months of treatment $1400. Oh yea, and lost my license for 18 months in total...
This happened in Sept xx, 2006. Jan 1, 2007 I took a sip and had been drinking ever since (up until 12 days ago). It crept its way back up over time, but by 08 i was back to my usual amount. After my accident I mainly drank it at home where i couldn't do anything stupid. And if I did something stupid, id be alone so nobody could remind me about it.
I just couldn't sit around an wait for another disaster to happen. This time it has to last...
Song of the Day...I'm Broken by Pantera
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
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Wow Wash! That was such a powerful story. It certainly shows the insidious control this alcoholism can have over us. Definitely would propel my efforts. Are you in any face to face program like AA? If you aren't and you find yourself looking longingly down that road again I would say maybe try a program.
The only way I stayed and stay sober is knowing "before" I take a drink I will have exhausted all means of staying sober. I knock on SR's door and if that doesn't work I will go knock on AA's door.
You seem pretty determined though and so good for you.
The only way I stayed and stay sober is knowing "before" I take a drink I will have exhausted all means of staying sober. I knock on SR's door and if that doesn't work I will go knock on AA's door.
You seem pretty determined though and so good for you.
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Originally Posted by Horselover 
Wow Wash! That was such a powerful story. It certainly shows the insidious control this alcoholism can have over us. Definitely would propel my efforts. Are you in any face to face program like AA? If you aren't and you find yourself looking longingly down that road again I would say maybe try a program.
The only way I stayed and stay sober is knowing "before" I take a drink I will have exhausted all means of staying sober. I knock on SR's door and if that doesn't work I will go knock on AA's door.
You seem pretty determined though and so good for you.
The only way I stayed and stay sober is knowing "before" I take a drink I will have exhausted all means of staying sober. I knock on SR's door and if that doesn't work I will go knock on AA's door.
You seem pretty determined though and so good for you.
I did the 90/90 in AA after the accident along with the Alcohol doctor. To be honest this web site has helped more. With AA and the DoC, you had to wait for a meeting; while this web site is here for me anytime...
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Portland, Oregon
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Thank you for sharing your story.
I could not even drink safely at home alone. I managed to bang myself up, getting bruises and a cracked rib. Not to mention drunk dialing people.
Congrats on your sober time and keep on trucking.
I could not even drink safely at home alone. I managed to bang myself up, getting bruises and a cracked rib. Not to mention drunk dialing people.
Congrats on your sober time and keep on trucking.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi Wash-
I've gotton two duis, both with totalled cars from driving in a blackout (pending my court date for the 2nd one).
My friend, we are extremly lucky to have not hurt anyone in our stupidity. If you're like me (and it sounds like you are in regards to blacking out), you'll drive again. I did and got another dui, but this time I crashed into another car. Thank God they are all right or else my problems would be a lot worse.
Do what it takes to stop. Let me know if I can help.
Kjell
I've gotton two duis, both with totalled cars from driving in a blackout (pending my court date for the 2nd one).
My friend, we are extremly lucky to have not hurt anyone in our stupidity. If you're like me (and it sounds like you are in regards to blacking out), you'll drive again. I did and got another dui, but this time I crashed into another car. Thank God they are all right or else my problems would be a lot worse.
Do what it takes to stop. Let me know if I can help.
Kjell
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Thanks, Washburn, for your post and for the last part of the information, especially, about how things crept back up again once you restarted. Your story really moved me and reminded me of the dangers (physical and financial) of this demon. Luckily, I never had a car accident or DUI, but I spent years living in a major city and had many blackouts where I could not remember how I got home (public transport? car service? cab? some other horrifying way?). Good luck to on your 12th day and congratulations for your progress so far!
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Join Date: May 2009
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Hi Washburn. Thanks for sharing that mate.
I can relate to it. I lost my driving license for 2 years through drink-driving. I Was actually drinking alone at home.
Stories like yours help remind me of the total unmanagabilty of drinking for an alcoholic. I remember how totally incoherant and generally mashed up I used to get. I remember coming out of a blackout many times trying to put my key in a door for totally the wrong house/flat with no clue where the hell I was. Who knows how long I was standing there for... Most of the stuff I used to do I can't remember. Much of it probably imagined too, but I will never know, thats what used to drive me insane. Was I dreaming or in blackout?
I never took any other drug which could wipe my mind as much as booze used to. I literallly couldn't even remember my name.
Keep the Faith.
I can relate to it. I lost my driving license for 2 years through drink-driving. I Was actually drinking alone at home.
Stories like yours help remind me of the total unmanagabilty of drinking for an alcoholic. I remember how totally incoherant and generally mashed up I used to get. I remember coming out of a blackout many times trying to put my key in a door for totally the wrong house/flat with no clue where the hell I was. Who knows how long I was standing there for... Most of the stuff I used to do I can't remember. Much of it probably imagined too, but I will never know, thats what used to drive me insane. Was I dreaming or in blackout?
I never took any other drug which could wipe my mind as much as booze used to. I literallly couldn't even remember my name.
Keep the Faith.
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I never took any other drug which could wipe my mind as much as booze used to. I literallly couldn't even remember my name.
Keep the Faith.[/QUOTE]
Completely true. I tried almost every drug in the book too and Alcohol is by far the worst.
Keep the Faith.[/QUOTE]
Completely true. I tried almost every drug in the book too and Alcohol is by far the worst.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Redondo Beach, CA
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Great song of the day. Regret not being able to see Pantera live ever again. That's one area that I wish I wouldn't drink, going to concerts. When I was in high school I remembered the shows (I was sober). Now shows are kinda like a haze. I often times don't remember if they played my favorite song. That happened at the last Lamb of God show. I wish I was sober so I could have enjoyed it.
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Originally Posted by kyb5
Wow if there was every a story to keep me from drinking that's it. Thanks for sharing.
Still there with you on day 12.
WE ROCK!!
Still there with you on day 12.
WE ROCK!!
I have some other disturbing stories i'll post in the near future. I honestly don't know how I'm still alive. EVERY problem I've ever had to deal with was alcohol related... Its amazing how we forget so soon...
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Originally Posted by Oddman
Great song of the day. Regret not being able to see Pantera live ever again. That's one area that I wish I wouldn't drink, going to concerts. When I was in high school I remembered the shows (I was sober). Now shows are kinda like a haze. I often times don't remember if they played my favorite song. That happened at the last Lamb of God show. I wish I was sober so I could have enjoyed it.
04-04-2011
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: AZ
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Originally Posted by Washburn
I have some other disturbing stories i'll post in the near future. I honestly don't know how I'm still alive. EVERY problem I've ever had to deal with was alcohol related... Its amazing how we forget so soon...
I, too, went to drinking from home. Hated the blackouts, not knowing what the heck I did the night before.
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I too would prefer to drink alone, but it's amazing the scrapes that I would get myself into, just drinking totally alone with nobody else. Literally anything was possible when I was drinking, as I would be possessed once under the influence. I remember the paranoia/anxiety from just drinking alone was also quite bad as I would end up calling people up for drugs or knocking round peoples houses or something random to try to get drugs or somebody to drink with.
I don't miss those times when I stop to think about all of the associated crap that goes with it. A nice, quiet drink was a fairytale for me. Even alone I was a liability! haha. I can look back now and laugh about it, but at the time it wasn't too funny.
Only ever one drink away from going back there though. Grateful to be sober.
Peace
I don't miss those times when I stop to think about all of the associated crap that goes with it. A nice, quiet drink was a fairytale for me. Even alone I was a liability! haha. I can look back now and laugh about it, but at the time it wasn't too funny.
Only ever one drink away from going back there though. Grateful to be sober.
Peace
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