Back to day 3, and starting to move past the relapse a bit...
 

Thank you all so very much for your words of understanding and encouragement. I am starting very slowly to forgive myself, and to realize that God spared my life for a reason. I am not trying to be melodramatic here, but honestly, waking up only to realize I threw up apparently while passed out was very frightening and bewildering. Such an ugly extreme (and first time ever happening after years of drinking) after nearly 4 months being completely sober.

I really just wanted to just check in, let you know I'm ok, and thank you all so much. Your kindness means so much. I hope that perhaps someone thinking about drinking again might have read my post, and decided, "ah...maybe not today..."

Peace and hugs to all.

I'm glad you're OK HS...there were so many times by reason I probably shouldn't have been OK too.

I guess they don't call them sobering thoughts for nothing :)

D

Thanks for letting us know how you are doing. For me its very hard forgiving myself. Which may not be that bad, in matters of having a conscience. The hard part is letting it go (not forgetting) but picking up the pieces and learning from it.
Just one day at a time. I wont drink today.
Dean

Glad you're feeling better. Just keep moving forward and you'll be ok.:)

I'm glad you are doing well, and YES, forgive yourself, treat yourself well, you made a mistake and learned from it....you will remember it and dredge it up again the next time you are faced with "that little voice that says, you can have just one or two".

i conjure up that very scary image of what I went through the first few days (along with the auditory halleucinations, extreme vomiting) everytime I think how nice it would be to tuck a bottle of Grey-Goose in the freezer and just have "one or two".....

your reiterating your experience did help to bring me back to a stronger resolve, thanks.

Congrats on 3 days, and don't be hard on yourself. You're battling a monster, and it's bound to get in a few hits here and there. It's who emerges victorious at the end that matters. Hang in there!

Rev

I was thinking about you, HS.

We're not superhuman and alcohol is a cunning manipulator - Glad to hear you got back up, dusted yourself off and are back on the path.

I'm so glad that you're feeling better!

Thanks for posting Humblestudent, The important thing is you haven't given up on giving up!! Stay Strong and keep moving forward.

Thanks for checking back HS....:hug:

I do know I have a purpose ...it gives
me much joy and peace.
:yup:
I certainly hope you will find yours soon.