Lenina

Someone,

If you can manage it, I'd recommend inpatient and this is why: it will give you time and space to really work on recovery without distractions. You'll be in a safe place. You will be able to totally focus on getting well.

I went to an excellent 30 program, it was 12 Step based but that was nearly 25 years ago. It helped me tremendously. I also got counseling for some of the other issues I had. I have never regretted going inpatient. And that I was able to learn.

Try going to AA, if it's clicking with you, great! You might ask at a meeting if anyone is willing to be a temporary sponsor until you can find a good fit. Go to the women stag meetings, if you can find some, I felt more comfortable there.

I'm so happy for you! Good job!

Love,

Lenina

If you can

SomeoneSomwhere

I know I should and I know it would help me.

But I just don't want me parents to have yet another thing to worry about. I've had my share of issues...and I just don't want to add alcoholsim/rehab to that list. My Dad just lost his job & my brother died 7 (almost 8 now) months ago. They just don't need anymore stress you know? Finding out their daughter is an alcoholic and needs rehab...I just think it would really kill them.

My parents aren't perfect but they do love me and they are good people and I just don't want to hurt them like that you know? They have enough to worry about. And also if I go into treatment I can't work. I help my parents out with rent/bills by working. I know that seems weird but with the economy the way it is, I have to. It's not that they don't try and find work or whatever, it's just that the economy sucks. My Dad was good at his job but he worked for a food company and they let go of everyone not from foreign countries basically. My Mom is a nurse so she makes pretty decent money but it's still not enough so I help out. I just don't want to leave my family you know? And I don't want to add stress to their lives. I know I should like focus on getting better but my Mom and Dad and little sister (she's 7 months and so cute btw) mean way more to me than myself. Maybe that's not right but I really love them and I want to be there for them. And if I'm in rehab then I can't help them out financially and they would have to worry about me.

yeahgr8

SPONSOR - Find someone who has worked the steps and has had a spiritual awakening, make it clear that you are keen to work the steps as quickly as possible as bestas you possibly can and you need help and direction.

Just hang at the end of the meeting and bring the topic up with someone...

If you do the above and are willing to do the work then you won't need rehab, if you don't you might put together a dry spell but when you come out the other end you, odds are you will be much worse as you will drink more and with greater frequency until the point where your parents will have to get involved as your problem will be much more obvious and they will be fearful for your life.

Good luck and let us know how you get on:-)

SomeoneSomwhere

So I didn't get drunk yesterday and I was really feeling it today. I was in class and freaking out. I had a bottle of Caldwells in my backpack. That obviously sounds bad but I don't like leaving it at home, I share a room with my baby sister so my parents are in here a lot and my room in TINY with a bed and a crib and dress and tiny ass closet jammed in there so there isn't really anywhere to hide alcohol in my bedroom. Anyways... not to be all defensive, just explaining myself.

But moving on, I had to leave class to drink in the bathroom. Yeah I know right that's like oh okay and yet you're having a problem truly accepting you're an alcoholic and yet you're leaving class to chug alcohol? Ha I just felt like **** and I was like having an anxiety attack and shaking/heart racing etc so I needed to calm down. And it did help. I didn't get drunk, not even buzzed really just took the edge off.

I just got back from the cemetery to go visit my brother & that's always pretty damn painful. I've always had Ryan to call after this...he isn't there anymore. My friends simply don't have that affect on me, it's different when it's someone you love but yeah...ugh. So I'm drinking again and I know I shouldn't be but.... IDK. I feel like I'm going around in circles here.

I KNOW I'm not going to stop drinking until I get really serious about it. I just need hope that other people have been where I am. I just need to know that I can quit. I just don't know what it's going to take. I don't want to waste twenty years of my life being a drunk, but I just don't know how to take control over it.

I guess my big question is, how can you just tell people in your life? I've kept this secret so well and it scares me to think of anyone finding out. And it feels like I'm still at the point where I can keep it private then it can't be "that bad.

I guess I'm asking if I can do this on my own. And if I can't, which I'm starting to feel like I might not be able to, then how do I lay down my pride and ask for the help I need?

Dee74

Hi SS

I think the only way out of the cycle for you here is to reach out and let people know.

I think once you get to the stage of physically needing a drink you need to see a doctor and be honest and open with them and listen to what they tell you. There's no two ways about that for me.

If you're on a campus, do you have a health service there?

Do you have counselling or therapy, SS - sorry bad memory - again, my campus had counsellors on hand, so maybe thats an option if it's not in place already.

Telling your family, tho, is obviously your call.

For my 2 cents:

I think they're going to find out one way or the other anyway, SS - either you tell them now, or you keep drinking, getting more and more out of control - and they're probably going to find out for themselves - if they don't suspect something is up already.

D