im confused, can things only be one way or the other?
 

I caved yesterday, day 4, so here I am again on day 1. Spent half the day reading about how to manage stress, as I had to think about how I got myself into a lather yesterday leading to buying some cigarettes and wine. I felt really spineless, how I just give in when the going gets tough, and its not in terms of substance cravings, more not bearing being in my own head. Anyway, that aside. I am learning a lot on here, to take very seriously my endeavours to get clear of alcohol abuse. However, what is the defining point between people who can, and people who cant drink? If I get on top of the issues that underlie why I drink, will I be able to drink socially? What can people tell me about this?

In my head when I drunk last night, I was combatting my warpy thinking with wise words from this community, it was really great (even tho' it added to my feeling like a loser ten fold) especially comments around spending lots of wasted years trying to control drinking and realising its a losing battle....thats probably me about now.

Anyway, Im wholeheartedly starting again...just Im preparing myself for the little mind trip that will start around day three

Thanks for listening!

I don't know what or where that point is HandA.
What I do know is that I crossed it a long time ago.

I am an alcoholic - pardon me for sounding like a rap artist, but there's no remission from that condition.

For me, I have to accept that reality. I can work on those underlying things all I like - and I do - but that won't turn this pickle back into a cucumber.

D

Kosher Dill here

at the point i could have stoped drinking,

it was already to late...

good wishes home

I've never felt as good as when I finally admitted that there was no more 'moderation' for me, it simply doesn't work for an alcoholic.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...st-myself.html

sums it up really!

Hey hang in dont give up keep coming on this forum I know all about day three I have been there not wantin to drink then beating myself up with guilt when I do.Comes to a point its not worth the hassle.Praying for you ...........jo

I don't think that understanding why you drink will enable you to drink socially/normally. Simply put, we are alcoholics and cannot drink at all, whether we understand why we drink or not.

I know now why I drank. To combat boredom or to numb away depression and anxiety. But I dare not drink again, ever, as I know it will always lead me back to that dark place and I barely escaped with my life - don't want to go back there.

I have just recently learned that once you cross that invisible line, wherever it is, you can't uncross it.

Thanks everyone, I need to hear these things, Im going to my first meeting tomorrow night. Its at my local church so the familiar ground will make it less scary going for the first time. Im not coping very well with having lots of priorities at the moment, study, getting healthy (fitness wise), working (I need income), being a mum and having pets, and dealing with withdrawal - all the nurturing activities that make it bearable, plus amongst all this will feel isolated and lonely, anyway, I cant seem to figure it out, so hoping AA might help me. Of course I have dragged my feet on this one, but from what I have read on here my thinking is way off track so best to give it a go. Thanks for reading, you guys are so valuable

The only way to find out if drinking in moderation can work for you is to try it, unfortunately. I eventually ran out of options and rationalizations and places to place the blame and had to look squarely at the fact that there was absolutely no way that i can drink or use drugs responsibly. I learned this through trial and lots and lots of error and suffering. It doesn't have to be this way but honestly usually is for us. In my experience it takes reaching your pain threshold to accept and surrender to your condition and be willing to do anything to change. I hope you don't have to reach that point.