wicked

Oh no, not me. No jogging. Somethin' could break or somethin'.

Slick probably just likes a brisk walk anyways.

HumbleBee

Welcome, GGC - loved your post and pics.

I did AA in early sobriety - it was good for me then - met alot of great people who I could relate to, etc. and am still friends with a number of them today.

What saved my life was an alcoholism counselor who was in recovery for many years himself. He taught me how to develop the tools and foundation for living life in recovery as opposed to just not drinking (plug in the jug, so to speak).

I love SR - there's alot of wisdom, honesty and support that can be found 24/7 with people from all over the world. There's so many different 'life' forums here meaning it's not *all* about alcoholism and addicition just like each person here is not just about their own alcoholism and/or addiction label.

Glad you found us. Look forward to walking this journey with you.

Mark75

The nuge!! An interesting role model for the clean and sober, huh? Mystical flight of the arrow and all that... Love him. My son, the nimrod of the family wrote him and he wrote back!!

Well, just shootin' the breeze... Stick around for a while. And when you are ready for some AA talk ... Head over to the 12 step support section!!

Mark

GreatGonzoChops

let me tell you something about that little dog..... that s.o.b has conquered the 2nd highest peak in the Smokey Mountains, Mt. Silver. 18.2 miles, and he pulled me the ENTIRE way

I am from indiana, there are no mountains where i am from. so hiking is unheard of. if you are walking somewhere, you probably lost your license.... so when a friend asked if i wanted to go on a hike up a mountain for 5 days, i thought "that sounds neat, probably just like camping".....wrong.

beautiful, but i will never do it again.

here is a picture of me and my trusty steed (in my arms) leading the way.



EDIT: oh by the way, if you ever go hiking a 18.2 mile mountain with a little dog, never do it in work boots.

GreatGonzoChops

see, that's what i like, because problems tend to not come up around a meeting schedule, and it's hard for me to "bond" with any one person who is a recovering alcoholic that i can talk too sometimes, this seems like a great starting spot for me. i got to get to know people first before i can just open up like that. i have had a few moments in life where i didn't have anywhere to turn but to the people at those tables and they helped me a ton get threw it (this was before i moved). but it was always hard for me to get to know the old timers of the tables, ya know, cut up a bit and what not, take it to the next level. here we have a choice, you can read what a person says and respond to it or if it doesn't fit into what you know, more than likely someone can pick up the rebound because they have been threw that situation before or something, it's like a super think tank in a way... like i said, i am really happy i found this place, and you will probably get tired of seeing my name pop up in threads

nice to meet you by the way

GreatGonzoChops

you got it Mark, thanks man

wicked

Is Slick a miniature dachshund? So is mine! LOL
Yeah, it is amazing how they can pull, pretty determined little dogs, and no fear of the big dogs, she likes the last word.

Glad to meet you too GGC.

HumbleBee

I doubt that ^^^

It's great to meet you too.

We may have all come to know each other through a monitor and keyboard here, but it doesn't make the caring, sharing and support any less meaningful - in many ways it's more meaningful for me.

p.s. loved the nazareth vid...thanks!

Hevyn

I agree - I feel like I can speak from the heart instead of trying to live up to people's expectations. What a relief.

GreatGonzoChops

lol, that's another thing you will get sick of, i am a music postin mofo

GreatGonzoChops

i feel ya on that one... there are things i can speak about online, that i couldn't even confide in my best friends in my town about... it's not that i would lie to them or anything, but there is a closeness you can get from folks threw a forum, yet still have a distance factor which makes it easier... plus ya don't have to worry about getting smacked in the mouth

HumbleBee

I see you haven't been to the get off your pity pot forum yet... :rotfxko

Just messin' with ya...back on topic...you'll get the skinny from folks here while being respectful that each of us has our own opinions and experiences and are able to agree that we sometimes disagree.

You're right tho - a virtual slap is not nearly as bad as a real one upside the head...!

GreatGonzoChops

in due time, i am sure

GreatGonzoChops

ya know i was just laying in bed, thinking about this whole thing, this forum, recovery and everything... and i love to keep things light hearted, but then i start thinking about how many people suffer this "thing" the booze.. there are people who never get a 2nd chance, they are dead.... there are people who might have said "ehh tomorrow", get in a wreck, kill someone, spend the rest of their life in jail.... there are people right now, drinking, crying for help into the bottle and have no idea what to do.... no idea "how to stop". christ, i thought i did.... "stopped once, i can stop again", took over 5 years to do it again.... it's so weird thinking back on those moments, drinking by my self, at my desk, and not knowing how too put down the bottle.... and it's only been a month... there's sooo many more days ahead of me and things to work on.

it scares the sh*t out of me to think of taking another drink. not that i am running off fear, i don't think. i got lucky this time, i get a couple days in jail and i lose my license for a year...some fines.... so maybe mines trivial in a sense, there are a ton of people with way lower bottoms than that, but too me that is a massive crossroad for me... been in trouble many times, never behind the wheel. then i go to my "assessment" thing at the courthouse, and i run into people who tell me those 2 days are "cake" nothing to worry about, this is their 5 or 6th time threw.... i laughed at first, because it is county, it's adult daycamp, but it's really not funny... how many times does one have to screw up before they can look themselves in the mirror and understand that "maybe this ain't so good for me?"

i joke about being on a cloud of boobies but it's those ups and downs that will get ya.... just keep me between the ditches, today, please...

sorry, had to get that out (mainly for myself) or i would just have laid there and kept thinking about it...

-nite

Mark75

Your bottom is what you make it. Just put away the shovel, ya know? BTW I'm originally from Southern Illinois, and I lived near Evansville for awhile in KY too... Nope, no mountains out there.

Hevyn

Thanks for that heartfelt post Great Gonzo. That made so much sense - you are right, playing with it can be life destroying. I was sober for 3 yrs. When I started up again I was far worse than I'd ever been, and that's when I got my 2 dui's and let down so many people in my life. I tanked worse than ever, thinking surely this time I could control it. I could have killed someone, or spent my life in jail (and it would have been deserved). I might not have gotten my 2nd chance, as you put it - I was just lucky.

Good thoughts, and thank you.

Kmber2010

You speak from the heart Gonzo and I couldn't agree more. If I didn't toss the bottle I would not be here and that I am certain of.

GreatGonzoChops

past couple days were interesting....

I travel a lot for my job and it's pretty labor intensive (to say the least) so i work with a group of guys (4 of us that went) that work hard and play hard...

All the guys know i quit drinking but they are not about to play the mommy character and say "now craig, you know better" act. So i am in this little Podunk country town in kentucky, population about 10,000. I think for recreation they had a bowling ally and about 130 churches, beautiful country out there, but a little too backwoods for me.

So of course, one of the guys is GUNG HO about seeing the sights of this town (which probably consists of getting drunk at the bowling ally and finding Jesus later on that night for dessert). And to the Booze Brain part of my head, that sounded like a great time!! So on impulse i said sure. but then the rational aspect of my brain shot right back at me, as quick as i said "sure"... throwing all this guilt at me, and it was justified i guess... so here i am having this internal dialog with myself trying to justify why i could waste the time i have invested in stopping drinking because this bowling ally really needs me too drink a few beers in it....

So in the end i didn't drink. The conversation with the guy from work went like this:

"hey man, i can't go with you tonight, you know i can't be drinkin'"
"why? you don't think you can handle a couple?"
"i am going to jail on friday because of drinking, does it sound like i can handle it?"
"i gotcha, i gotcha..."

and damn it that was tuff. Doesn't sound like much at all really, just a couple sentences and a person saying they don't want to do something... See, i can admit to myself and to everyone around me that i am a alcoholic all day long... as long as it's not in play, play meaning a "choice" to be made, Well i had a choice, it was either Get Drunk or Don't. Either one of those choices fulfills that i am a alcoholic, but i think the 2nd one was even more humbling (in a good way i guess). it was good to come to terms with it
and feel a little bit "out of your element" for NOT drinking, than getting hammered and dwelling on it for the next days, about how we are a piece of chit, and worthless and all the other things we tell ourselves after we screw up (at least that's how i am).

So it's kinda like, your close friends, they don't want you drinking in the first place. They know it is bad for you, and true friends respect that you are going to make a effort to stop and love you. but those people are easy to deal with when it comes too evading the impulse urges i guess for the drink. Then you have your complete strangers, and they are pretty easy to deal with when the urge hits because, well, they are strangers, who cares what they think anyways?

It's that middle group of others, say work buddies or school friends, your peers or whatnot. The people you are in contact with on a day to day basis, that are friends to say, that have a perception of you, and may not understand and/or expect any change in your life like that...

"Golly Sam, we sure are going to miss your karaoke rendition of Judas Priest's Turbo Lover, drunk, wearing a sombrero and a speedo at the company picnic's"

...they shouldn't matter, and in the end they don't of course, but it's the way of the social beast is i guess...

I guess what i am trying to say is that it felt pretty good in the end to stick to my guns even though all i did was go back to my hotel room, watch some mindless crap on tv for a hour and go to sleep.... sober.

I was able to snap this photo of this sign in the parking lot of the elderly home/hospital i was working at though...



..and i have to say it must have worked, because i didn't see any (thank god)

Mark75

Yea that sight might have been too much for a guy in your tender stage of recovery

Hey so you are goin in Friday, for how long? Oh, I just reread your post, for the weekend huh? Well stay in touch.

GreatGonzoChops

lol, i don't mind if they do, just don't do it in the parking lot i guess

yeah, just the weekend, it should be alright