Perfect Equilibrium...

Old 04-21-2010, 11:43 AM
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Perfect Equilibrium...

This is what I love about my recovery. I love it when I am in that perfect equilibrium.

I literally cannot describe to anyone in any detail what I actual feel but I guess it's a case of what I also am not feeling. It is that beautiful sweet spot where I know that my recovery is working, and working well.

There is a wonderful calm about my mood and I can talk openly about my past without any regret or yearning for anything that I didn't achieve/do. I can look forward optimistically to the future but I'm just content living in the moment and waiting peacefully for whatever may be around the corner.

There is absolutely no feeling towards alcohol, other than a healthy respect, for I have total acceptance of my condition and I'm grateful for all of the times that I had with my chemical friends. They have taught me much about myself and now I can teach others too. My life has literally been given a rebirth. Without my alcoholism and drug addiction then I would have literally have been living in a parallel universe. The path I am now taking would have never have happened.

I love the fact that I am able to pinpoint certain things that will knock me off my equilibrium and to be able to learn from them and work my way back to that perfect balance. This can only happen over time as the clarity and strength can only be gained from experiencing all of the crap. Only by experiencing the pain and the crap can you appreciate the other end of the spectrum.

I love the way that when I stop to think about it, I cannot believe how good I actually feel. Unlike drugs and booze it is subtle and is there all of the while, rather than smacking you in the face and being too high, so that normal feels like a crashing low.

I am just grateful for my sobriety and all that I have achieved within it. I am grateful for being able to try to show other young people that there is a way out. It is far more rewarding than the dead-end of active alcoholism and drug addiction.

Thanks SR.

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Old 04-21-2010, 12:17 PM
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That's an excellent description of what I feel too. I never thought to try and put it into words, & you did it well. So true - how subtle this feeling of well-being is, as opposed to the "high" that will have to end and send us plummeting back down to Earth.

I remember thinking how boring a non-drinker's life seemed. How could they ever be happy or have fun? It never occurred to me that I was the boring one - living in a fog and not feeling anything or remembering conversations. It's such a relief to no longer worry about being incoherent and doing stupid things. Picking up the pieces of my shattered life is a job I never want to face again.

Thanks, Neo for another heartfelt post. I'm happy you are feeling encouraged and at peace.
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Old 04-21-2010, 01:21 PM
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Incitefull post neo. In his book, frank skinner ( uk comedian and former alcoholic) describes life as a drinker as having amazing highs and devestating lows, being sober is to walk that boring line down the middle!
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Old 04-21-2010, 11:08 PM
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Thanks Neo, great to see that you are feeling so well
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Old 04-22-2010, 02:47 AM
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You're an inspiration mate!
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Old 04-22-2010, 10:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Acorn View Post
In his book, frank skinner ( uk comedian and former alcoholic) describes life as a drinker as having amazing highs and devestating lows, being sober is to walk that boring line down the middle!

To me, being sober is having highs which are far higher and sustained for far longer than anything I ever achieved using alcohol or anything else. And I can always find serenity in difficult moments so I never feel despair or alone again.

Having a spiritual awakening and living in the Fourth Dimension where the world is a different place and life takes on new meaning is an experience I would not have wanted to miss. It just gets better every single day.

I got to this place by working the 12 program of AA and it was promised in the book of AA. There's nothing in the book which says "being sober is to walk that boring line down the middle".
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