early recovery and lost
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 17
early recovery and lost
i have been sober for 6 weeks and i am really trying to beat this and god i am exhausted i am trying to find myself sober and this is a big big issue because i dont know who i am sober
can i have some advice please
xx
can i have some advice please
xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,944
Originally Posted by robdan 
i have been sober for 6 weeks and i am really trying to beat this and god i am exhausted i am trying to find myself sober and this is a big big issue because i dont know who i am sober
can i have some advice please
xx
can i have some advice please
xx
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi mate. Well done on 6 weeks sober. That's a big deal in UK, let alone if you're an alcoholic!
I guess I will try and keep it simple as the last thing I guess you want to hear are a load of cliche's (though i found they really do work!!).
I guess simply put... The real 'work' in recovery starts after the drink has been put down. I think you need some form of a recovery programme to work, there are some well known ones out there. Work your own if you don't like certain bits, rather than go back out drinking again. Mix and match programmes if that's what it takes too, or follow them militantly to the letter! Do whatever works for you.
But I'm with 24hrsaday on this one. The rediscovery and healing takes time. Losing booze was like losing my best-friend. Everything I did/lived for was associated with drinking and living the wreckhead lifestyle. A big part of my early recovery was mourning/grieving and rediscovering myself to be happy as a sober/clean individual when all of my heroes and idols were exactcly the opposite! They still are but I'm a recovering alcoholic now, The alkies are dead and the ones that aren't probably weren't alkies anyway. I know I am.
It's a daily work in progress underpinned by a commitment to myself to not pick up the first drink. I do it without thinking about it now but in the early days this commitment is absolutely imperitive. It Still is obviously but it is part of my lifestyle now. Everybody knows that I don't drink, smoke, take drugs or gamble anymore. They know why too and they just accept it as being who I am. It is a great feeling to have such clarity. It can't happen overnight though, especially after 6 weeks. I drank again on 5.6.09 after 37 days under similar thinking. Got sober pretty much 1 month later. I knew I couldn't carry on as a drunk because I would have not lived for much longer realistically.
All The best
I guess I will try and keep it simple as the last thing I guess you want to hear are a load of cliche's (though i found they really do work!!).
I guess simply put... The real 'work' in recovery starts after the drink has been put down. I think you need some form of a recovery programme to work, there are some well known ones out there. Work your own if you don't like certain bits, rather than go back out drinking again. Mix and match programmes if that's what it takes too, or follow them militantly to the letter! Do whatever works for you.
But I'm with 24hrsaday on this one. The rediscovery and healing takes time. Losing booze was like losing my best-friend. Everything I did/lived for was associated with drinking and living the wreckhead lifestyle. A big part of my early recovery was mourning/grieving and rediscovering myself to be happy as a sober/clean individual when all of my heroes and idols were exactcly the opposite! They still are but I'm a recovering alcoholic now, The alkies are dead and the ones that aren't probably weren't alkies anyway. I know I am.
It's a daily work in progress underpinned by a commitment to myself to not pick up the first drink. I do it without thinking about it now but in the early days this commitment is absolutely imperitive. It Still is obviously but it is part of my lifestyle now. Everybody knows that I don't drink, smoke, take drugs or gamble anymore. They know why too and they just accept it as being who I am. It is a great feeling to have such clarity. It can't happen overnight though, especially after 6 weeks. I drank again on 5.6.09 after 37 days under similar thinking. Got sober pretty much 1 month later. I knew I couldn't carry on as a drunk because I would have not lived for much longer realistically.
All The best
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
and i am really trying to beat this and god i am exhausted i am trying to find myself sober and this is a big big issue because i dont know who i am sober
i found there was nothing more exhausting than trying to stay sober on will power alone.........trying to fight it....trying to beat it.
the fight was lost before it began the rest was me gripping the arm of the chair fighting the obssesion....feeling like a weak willed idiot.
nothing changed until i engaged myself into program of action
for me that was the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous.......there are other program but i have no experience with them.
i truly know where your at........and it aint a nice place to be
its like jumping from a burning ship only to find you cant swim.
but there is a solution......and if your an alcoholic you can recover.
get to an aa meeting and tell someone what you told us here.
god willing someone will point you towards the right person with experience to guide you through the steps.
please feel free to pm me anytime.......names shaun and im an alcoholic.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,320
Welcome to SR Robdan
It took me a while to get to know who I was again....a bit longer than 6 weeks.
I'd drank for years - it takes time for that emotional and physical damage to heal.
It's all a process - it's a bit ironic that after years of instant gratification with the bottle we now just have to wait things out, but thats how it works.
Naturally go and see your doc if you're really worried about things, but generally we just need to be patient with ourselves robdan.
Hope you'll keep posting here. You'll find a lot of support
D
It took me a while to get to know who I was again....a bit longer than 6 weeks.
I'd drank for years - it takes time for that emotional and physical damage to heal.
It's all a process - it's a bit ironic that after years of instant gratification with the bottle we now just have to wait things out, but thats how it works.
Naturally go and see your doc if you're really worried about things, but generally we just need to be patient with ourselves robdan.
Hope you'll keep posting here. You'll find a lot of support
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
I was sober for 3 months and was certain I knew who I was but I relapsed and in just 5 days of being sober, I have discovered more about myself then possible before. My underlying reasoning for drinking is stress and thinking I change things. I met with my Dr. today for my session and seeking counseling was something I did not do before. This isn't long term but he is helping me understand myself, my choices and to accept me.
Recovery is journey and it will take time to know our new sober selves.
Recovery is journey and it will take time to know our new sober selves.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hello robdan and welcome to sr.
i too go to AA and i would not have been able to recover without the 12 steps.
i am with trucker on this one.i stopped many times but always my head would tell me it will be ok this time and i would manage better,that i would be able to drink like other people,never worked!
glad you are giving AA a go.
when i was looking for a sponsor i prayed,and sure enough very soon the right lady visited one of my regular meetings one day.when she shared i felt straight away that i could tell that lady anything and i identified with her immedietly.i also knew that she would be no nonsense in her approach to taking me through the steps.
my life is beyond recognition now.
i hope you find a sponsor soon!
keep us updated.
i too go to AA and i would not have been able to recover without the 12 steps.
i am with trucker on this one.i stopped many times but always my head would tell me it will be ok this time and i would manage better,that i would be able to drink like other people,never worked!
glad you are giving AA a go.
when i was looking for a sponsor i prayed,and sure enough very soon the right lady visited one of my regular meetings one day.when she shared i felt straight away that i could tell that lady anything and i identified with her immedietly.i also knew that she would be no nonsense in her approach to taking me through the steps.
my life is beyond recognition now.
i hope you find a sponsor soon!
keep us updated.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 17
hello an update
hi all i am feeling on top of the world i was 6 months sober last week i feel like a huge burden has lifted and im only starting 2 know myself n im ok with that cuz im dealing wiv my issues aa has helped loadz i havnt got a sponser but i stil keep it in the day n strife 4 betta things thanks again 4 the posts they help alot x x x x x x x x 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Congrats Rob and thank you for updating.
I too am right here and just hit 5 months the other day. Amazing isn't it.
Funny thing was I was reading your initial post and when I got to your update....wow....a whole new you.
Keep it going and know that you inspire others.
All the best!!
I too am right here and just hit 5 months the other day. Amazing isn't it.
Funny thing was I was reading your initial post and when I got to your update....wow....a whole new you.
Keep it going and know that you inspire others.
All the best!!
Practice Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: KC missouri
Posts: 885
Welcome! I would take the time out to invest in yourself and future to find a program for yourself. I was too scared and lazy to do this a couple years ago. Finally I got tired of feeling bad and went to AA and a sponser! Welcome!
Congrats on six months. Keep up the good work, remember one day at at time good job rabdon
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