Day 9 and the Committee in my head
 

So, today is Day 9 for me. This is my second go at sobriety...my first was 4-5 years ago and I had 200+ days. I fell off the wagon in part because of a struggling marriage (at the time) and my husband sort of encouraged me to drink because of his own guilt at the time. (he missed the ME who was numb and out of touch with our lives).

Anyway...lots of drama this weekend. Our daughter is 23, and lives here in town. She has been non-stop drama for about 5 years now. Too long to go into here. In any case, yesterday was horrible. I did not give in to the triggers, my husband and I talked, and got through it.

More phone calls today from her, with more clueless behavior on her part. I was out of the house on an errand, and had to get home. I had planned on doing some shopping, but the stores became dangerous places for me, so I had a Committee Meeting in my head for the 20 minute drive home. It went something like this...

"I need a drink. No I don't. If I drink, will DD still be in her situation tomorrow? Yes. If I drink, will I feel horrible tomorrow? Yes. Will drinking fix or solve anything? No. If I drink will I like myself tomorrow? No."

You get the idea. I drove straight home, and called a good friend. I'm going to spend some time working on my lesson for next week at Church, put my jammies on, and find something harmless to watch on TV. (why do they drink on almost every TV show?)

Sobriety is my goal. I will not live my life out the bucket of booze, and I will not be defined by alcohol. No more stinkin drinkin thinkin.

LOL, watch Dancing with the Stars tonight, and it will calm your nerves.

Good for you for recognizing that you're hearing your addict voice talking to you. And, good for you for not listening to it.

I think you're doing a really awesome job dealing with the committee, FS :)
:You_Rock_

D

Awesome job, FS. I may have to hire your committe sometime ;)

I have similar committee meetings in my head. Fortunately it seems there's less and less reason to argue with myself as the cravings are getting fewer and fewer.:)

OMG I had something like that happen today but it was "Hey Vic, you know you threw that bag of pot away and yeah the pipe, you should go get it and take a hit of it to calm yourself down.'' Than I thought OH NO NO NO>>>I am NOT Going to do that, h*ll NO." So I got in my house and than I started to get the Poor me thing going. Yeah right Pour me another drink. Not today I said thank you very much!

Thanks for sharing what you did I needed to hear most of it tonight.

Glad this place is here also!:You_Rock_

Great Post!

Glad to know you are getting back on track!

One of my favorite relaxation tricks...
A bubble bath with scented candles
Chopin or violin concertos wafting in.

Good job on thinking the drink through ...:hug:

I like the committee meeting analogy, thanks. Someone else here mentioned the ping pong game in their head the other day. I thought that was good also. I'm sorry that I don't remember who it was to give them the credit they deserve.

Best wishes.

Keep the committee coming back to the table!

Good job on the working it through.
Dean

Good going FrancoSarto.

My committee has been loosing power ever sense I began to empower myself by choosing to purposefully live a sober life.