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Old 04-18-2010, 03:32 PM
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Here we go...

Intro:

I am an alcoholic (15 yrs).

Nothing dramatic happened to me to join this site and seek ways to normality.

I don't want to quit drinking. I want to be able to live a normal life and be able to have an occassional dink or two on an occasional basis. Is this an un-realistic goal? I appreciate the advice and feedback. Thanks.
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Old 04-18-2010, 03:47 PM
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Hi Smith123

Yeah, I tried that for 20 years - I found it was unrealistic for me.
I've never been happier since giving up that idea and quitting drinking entirely

I wish you luck tho.
D
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Old 04-18-2010, 03:51 PM
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I have known some problem drinkers who, when circumstances demanded it, were able to go back to occasional drinking.

I've known more who could not....

I am one who cannot drink normally. I have the reaction to alchohol where once I have a few, I crave the next one...and I have a mind that cannot remember the truth that drinking doesn't work for me....

You're sorta on your own to find out what type of drinker you are....This site will be here for you if you find you cannot sucessfully drink.

Thanks for posting your honest question.
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Old 04-18-2010, 04:24 PM
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I personally do not see it possible. If you want to cut down then why not cut it out completely. I have tried slowing down, moderation, etc. and somehow that beast dragged me back in and it was down hill again.

I ask myself this quite often. What do I gain from drinking? What do I like about drinking? There is nothing it does then give me a buzz which is just a high. That for me is an addiction. It changes the way I see myself and others and the way i live my life and behave.

For me it is drink or no drink. There is no middle.

All the best Sobriety is the key.
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Old 04-18-2010, 04:39 PM
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I appreciate all of the replies. And y'all told me what I didn't want to hear.

I've been through a couple of aa programs back in the day (due to a few dui's). The "program" just doesn't seem to fit me. Is AA the only type of program out there?

Again, thanks for the feedback.
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Old 04-18-2010, 04:43 PM
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No, there are lots of recovery programs out there, SR is just one recovery tool to use. Here is a link for info on different programs

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

Welcome to SR!
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Old 04-18-2010, 04:50 PM
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Thanks - least.

I don't think I have to learn how to quit drinking but I have to learn how to live without drinking. I heard that one time and it really made sense to me.

What do y'all suggest my next step is? Thanks.
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Old 04-18-2010, 04:52 PM
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Welcome Smith123. Oh, how I wanted to be able to control it. I tried so hard to have "just a few" now and then. It resulted in DUI's, health issues, and chaos. My life became out of control the older I got - I had no choice but to stop all together. I never thought it possible to live without my 'friend' - but I wasn't really living in the end. The fun & exhilaration I once felt from drinking was long gone, and I was killing myself.

I've only used SR for encouragement and support, do not attend meetings. For me, it's been enough. I hope you will find the answers you're looking for and will be happy with the outcome of your decision! Let us know how you're doing.
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Old 04-18-2010, 05:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Welcome Smith123. Oh, how I wanted to be able to control it. I tried so hard to have "just a few" now and then. It resulted in DUI's, health issues, and chaos. My life became out of control the older I got - I had no choice but to stop all together. I never thought it possible to live without my 'friend' - but I wasn't really living in the end. The fun & exhilaration I once felt from drinking was long gone, and I was killing myself.

I've only used SR for encouragement and support, do not attend meetings. For me, it's been enough. I hope you will find the answers you're looking for and will be happy with the outcome of your decision! Let us know how you're doing.
Thanks for the reponse. Here is what I don't understand: I fckin, fully understand that the quality of life will drastically improve being sober (quality of life isn't bad - right now). So, wtf, why don't I pursue that?
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Old 04-18-2010, 05:13 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

You don't pursue it because you're an addict. I'm an addict too, and the addict mind is manipulative and relentless. It will have you believe that you can have a drink or two, no big deal, and then the next thing you know, you don't remember what happened.

I don't believe that alcoholics can learn to drink occasionally. Like others here, I spent years trying to prove to myself that I could do that, and my life just kept getting worse and worse.

Please stick around and get to know us.
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Old 04-18-2010, 05:15 PM
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Smith -

I quit cold turkey and doing the withdrawals (yet again) on my own and do not go to AA and do not have access to much treatment where I am at.

What I use is will power, SR, and my Dr. who provides me with counseling. Have you tried counseling? You may have underlying issues that are hard to deal with....family, loss, whatever it may be and drinking is a way to numb the pain or many of think. I got divorced and my drinking skyrocketed. Hell, I didn't know how to live a day without it. It numbed my brain and made me forget everything. Many use booze to hide from problems, issues with shyness.....it becomes so much a part of our lives that it seems we can't live without it. Sadly it usually takes something bad to make us stop and face reality.

Please keep posting more on your situation and by doing so we can gain more insight and through posting you will begin to understand more of why you turn to a drink.

All the best - Kim
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Old 04-18-2010, 05:26 PM
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Yes, that was it exactly for me too Kim. I anesthetized to mask my shyness & hide from problems. It had the opposite effect in the end - I was isolated from everyone & in a prison I'd created for myself.

Smith - you say your quality of life isn't bad right now (and of course we hope it never becomes bad) so maybe that's why you aren't more motivated to stop. I was in a living hell and had to get out or die. SR threw me a life preserver and I grabbed it & held on tight.
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Old 04-18-2010, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Yes, that was it exactly for me too Kim. I anesthetized to mask my shyness & hide from problems. It had the opposite effect in the end - I was isolated from everyone & in a prison I'd created for myself.

Smith - you say your quality of life isn't bad right now (and of course we hope it never becomes bad) so maybe that's why you aren't more motivated to stop. I was in a living hell and had to get out or die. SR threw me a life preserver and I grabbed it & held on tight.

What is my next step?
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Old 04-18-2010, 05:34 PM
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I would look at the links least provided - see if something appeals to you there.

If nothing does, and you've decided AA is not your scene, counselling is another option, as is outpatient, or inpatient, rehab.

Speaking honesty and opening with your doctor is often a good first step if you're really at a loss.

Naturally we can't do the actual leg work for you - but those are the directions I'd look to begin with

D
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Old 04-18-2010, 05:55 PM
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Just one question from me.....if everthing is going great
for you...why be concerned about your drinking?

Welcome ....
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Old 04-18-2010, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted by CarolD View Post
Just one question from me.....if everthing is going great
for you...why be concerned about your drinking?

Welcome ....

Talk about a loaded question. Simply put - it is just not normal to drink oneself to sleep every freakin night. Obviously, things aren't great and I certainly didn't mean to imply they were. Anyways, back on topic. Next step suggestions? Thanks.
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Old 04-18-2010, 06:10 PM
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Early sobriety I used counseling and AA meetings, as well as this site, to stay sober. I finally think I 'get it' this time. Some people here use SR as their main support, others have different methods of staying sober. Whatever works for you is good. Try different approaches until you find one you like.
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Old 04-18-2010, 06:20 PM
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I think my suggestion would be 'change'.

For me, I had to change everything, including myself from the inside out, to begin to recover. I changed my daily routines, my drive home from work, people I spent time with - anything that would help me to stay sober and begin to find peace in my life.
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:46 PM
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Hey there Smith, come on man, you know the next step, you really do. And its going to be hard and scary, it will hurt, alot, and it won't even seem worth-while to see it through the night until you've done it. Then you'll find the mists start to clear and you may think it wasn't quite as bad as you thought it might have been. Then you can make it two days, and then three, and once you got a few behind you you'll find you have something worth having and keeping and adding to. It will be like collecting the rest of your life day-by-day. Good luck, friend, we all wish you well. Jim
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