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I think I have been hoodwinked!!

Old 04-17-2010, 01:55 PM
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I think I have been hoodwinked!!

By my own father! What do you do with that?

I cant even believe I have to try and process something like this.
Remember the 4 flats I got on my last run?
Well my gram had my dad help her get the new tires on the van since3 it was immobile.
She gave him the money (my money, I was in halfway house) to go buy them. He put them on. I told her make sure she got the receipt. She said he told her he left it in his other jacket. Never did produce the receipt.
Well the truth comes out. The tires are suppose to be 70R but he got 75R because he said they were cheaper. Now they are rubbing right on the bottom of the shocks.
I told him they were rubbing and he was like he dont know what it could be. I then told him my friend said the tires were too big and he all of a sudden said he would come look at it.
He comes and then tells me the truth that he didnt get the right ones on purpose. But told me to havbe my uncle fix it and then he left.
WTF???
My dad is a sheister. He works people alot. But I never thought he would his own family.
I really dont know for sure if he got the tires somewhere else for nothing and pocketed the money or he did just get the wrong ones because they were cheaper. I dont lnow what to believe. I know I need to buy at least 2 new tires now...AGAIN!! Its pretty bad when you dont trust your own flesh and blood.
I dont know what to do with this. What if I didnt find out until the dam tires blew going down the highway one day? With friends or the kids in the car?
That just isnt safe. I dont care if the other ones were more money. I had the money and he didnt even ask to see if I could pay for the right ones. Is a few dollars worth that?
I hate thinking my father would be like that with me. There is just so much BS that goes along with trying to have a relationship with him. I cant do it anymore.
I need to just keep my distance I guess. I love my dad so much. But I cant be feeling like I cant trust him or have to act like I like his wife when really I hate her with every fiber of my being.He has been sober for 24 years. I look up to that. I am proud of that. But 24 yrs of sobriety doesnt mean **** if your going to be a con artist.
I am very sad about this. It hurts my heart.

Sry I feel like I am being needy again. I just dont understand.
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Old 04-17-2010, 02:12 PM
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(((Trish))) I am sorry you are hurting, especially with such an important person in your life..
Information comes in many forms to us, and can cause us so much pain sometimes, but in my experience, always becomes key in me moving forward, for my highest good, once I have managed to process it all...

Our lives change in recovery, and our eyes open to things that have always been there.

You are strong and have good recovery and I know you will use this information for your highest good..

Gentle hugs and prayers
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Old 04-17-2010, 02:28 PM
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That Sux ((((Trish)))) keep talking and writing about it, get it out and move on, keeping your recovery first.
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Old 04-17-2010, 02:34 PM
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I'm sorry T. I dunno much about tyres and stuff. Glad you're safe tho.

I do know you gotta try and not let this eat at you - as a kid I used to wish my family were different, and better and all 'goodnight John Boy'...but they just are what, and who, they are....

and so are we. You're cool and that's all I'm worried about
D
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Old 04-17-2010, 02:42 PM
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Trish, it's true that your life changes in many ways, in early recovery.

You are seeing a side of your Dad you didn't want to see before. It's in front of you now and you can use the knowledge and learn. It doesn't mean you don't love your Dad, but you don't have to do the same kind of thing again.
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Old 04-17-2010, 03:00 PM
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That really stinks! But there ARE dishonest people out there and some of them are related to us. Don't let him rip you off again and be careful in the future of having relatives and 'friends' "help you out". :ghug3
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Old 04-17-2010, 03:27 PM
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I know I would like to believe the best in people especially a father. Yet somethings go amiss. Then it becomes a life lesson. Unfortunately or more as reality would have it, lessons come at a price. I learn, be thankful for the lesson, forgive my teacher, and be all the wiser.

But it aint easy, especially in learning to live life as it comes as an addict in recovery. Hurt, disappointment and the saddens that ensues just sucks for sure. Its okay to feel as you do, that's real and reality bites sometimes. Hoping you can find some peace today...be well and blessed be.
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Old 04-17-2010, 07:23 PM
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One of the hardest lessons I've ever had to learn, that any father figure in my life was a POS.

I'm hoping it has made me stronger.

My best to you, Aysha.
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Old 04-17-2010, 08:03 PM
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Sober or not....some people are just not trustworthy
when it comes to finances. Knowing that is
painful but will serve you well as you continue
to live successfully.

Prayers for your peace T....
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:28 AM
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Thx everyone. Its not so much if or what he did with the money. Because either way, I did get new tires. So how he got them is irrelevent really. But Its the fact that he didnt get the right ones on purpose and acted like he didnt know until I said a friend confirmed they nwere the wrong size. He also saqid they didnt need to be balanced. BS! Thats my safety and anyone else who happens to ride with me. Thats nothing to play with. And my father is careless with his own stuff too like that. He may not care, but I do. And if it costs a little more to make sure I am safe, Then thats what it will be.
I dont liek settling or preparing for the worst and hoping for the best anymore.
I need to do things right. The first time if possible. Cause now look. I am out $300 and now have to buy all brand new tires again for a what would have been just a few dollars more the first time.
I am tired of trying to get ahead or even just caught up and going backwards.
I dont smoke or use anymore, so there is no reason why I shouldnt have my stuff up to date and some extra put away. You guys know the money that is wated on just smoking let alone a drug habit. Geez, If I keep going, I could have a nice little savings in a year.
Its just the lack of concern for safety that pizzed me off.
Anyway. I wont ask my dad for anything anymore.
I love him, but I wont rely on him or anything like that anymore.
Thx again all.
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Old 04-18-2010, 12:36 PM
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I think you are taking the high road here (no pun intended). You can't change him, but if you can forgive him, it's better for YOU. Just because he is your father, doesn't mean you *have* to trust him...and you can tell him so, but only if YOU want to.
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Old 04-18-2010, 01:58 PM
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I do not have any more to say than what others have posted.

Just thinking about you. Agree that it sucks. And sorry that you have been hurt by this.

Sending you a hug.
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Old 04-18-2010, 07:21 PM
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trish,

i haven't heard "hoodwinked" in years!!!

and i know your not my age!

sad, though happy to see your moving on, and growing from all of this...

blessings out
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