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Started day 4

Old 04-16-2010, 12:07 PM
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Started day 4

Do not worry I am not going to post a thread everyday on my recovery. Hopefully with time something more helpful for everyone.
Just thought maybe some new persons to the site might be able to see the agony of what a relapse can do. And maybe some persons with longer sobriety might be able to add something to help me or others.
Yesterday was horrific overwhelming anxiety and guilt. Sweats, shakiness and being very hungry but unable to eat.
I talked to my wife and explained to her what happened prior to me leaving to go up north and what happened on the way up there. Felt some relief after talking to her.
Met with my sponsor for over 2 hours. Felt even better, excellent conversation.
This morning woke up tired and sweaty. Still felt a little anxious and guilt.
I was able to get things done but still a struggle. Forgot to mention being on this site and getting support also helped a LOT.
Still tired. Plan on calling my sponsor prior to me leaving work. Get to a meeting tonight.
I have been doing a lot of writing everyday since I got back from up north. Going to attach them permanently to my head, as a reminder.
The writing in the journal, being on SR, talking to my wife and sponsor have helped greatly.
Praying and asking for guidance/forgiveness and giving thanks is vital for me.
Thanks
Dean
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Old 04-16-2010, 12:21 PM
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The first week or so is rough, but it does get better. I'm glad you're using as many recovery tools as you can to stay sober. It's so worth the effort.
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Old 04-16-2010, 12:25 PM
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What you are doing is SO worth the effort. You're doing a brave thing and it is the first step towards having a real life. I know when I was in the grips of dependancy, I was a slave to drink. It is no life, and I am pleased you are opening the door to a happier future by giving up. Good luck!
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Old 04-16-2010, 12:39 PM
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I don't think posting something on here every day that you are sober would be a bad thing. I like to read other people's experience on this sober journey. You do help the new and the not so new with your experiences.

You are doing a good thing and the tools you are utilizing are great! Good for you Dean. Keep us updated.
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Old 04-16-2010, 12:53 PM
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Yes,

Please keep posting as much as you like. I know what you mean though, feel the same sometimes, I don't want to come across as being nagging or whatever. But actually part of the repetition is what makes the imprint in the mind stronger I think and don't we need that?

I think it's great that you:
a. have a lot of support
b. are willing to use that support!!
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Old 04-16-2010, 01:05 PM
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Post away Dean. I want to read your recovery.
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Old 04-16-2010, 01:14 PM
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Originally Posted by dkayvins125 View Post
Do not worry I am not going to post a thread everyday on my recovery.
Well, there is no rule that says you can't do that but what you could do is reply to THIS thread every day or every couple days with an update on your recovery, that's what I did with my first thread when I arrived back in Oct 08.
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Old 04-16-2010, 01:18 PM
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Dean thank you for sharing and post as many times as you feel. Relapse it hard because of the guilt associated with it. I just relapsed and it is hard when people who were so proud of you are concerned for you. I feel I let everyone down and now I am back to square one. I share so many of your withdrawals. My hubby is gone right now but I have been talking outloud to myself on what I will say. He knows what happened and I sent him an email on it too. He has been my cheerleader and I just so wish he was here to help me with the shakes and anxiety.

I am so proud of you and look forward to reading your posts on recovery. There was a great quote by somebody important and it goes - Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.

Huggs and cheers on your road to sobriety~!!!

Kim
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Old 04-16-2010, 05:25 PM
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I feel your pain

What a perfect reading to come across on my first day here. I remember my relapse and I also remember my 4th day! It truly is unexplainable how horrible u feel. I am on day 42 and looking back i remember when I was where you are. May I commend you for going to work!!!!!? As well as meetings why u are feeling this way!!!!
Without meetings I wouldnt have made it as far as I have. Even though 42 days may not be months or years to me its a wonderful blessing that I have held on one day at a time. So even though I dont know you and you dont know me I can understand every feeling you are having right now. Your not alone! Thank you for this post. ~BrandyLyn
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Old 04-16-2010, 05:30 PM
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Welcome to SR BrandyLyn

Congratulations on your sober time

D
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