Hoper

Hello all!

I have been very happy since I made the decision to stop drinking and apply my self to the program and 12 steps. It just feels as if I have a promising future ahead without drinking and the depression it has caused me.

I get nervous about the changes I will go through without drinking but I fall back into the: its only for today mentality and it gets better.

Any way, I have been to 3 AA meetings only so far, but they have caused quite a good impression on me, I actually had a dream of me being in a meeting and gave me confort. Surprisingly, I was in a school meeting today, and I started getting really nervous. There were people around I did not knew and started thinking is any one here attending one of my meetings? Do they know I am an alcoholic? What if subconciously I start my contributions by My name is... and I am an alcoholic! It was scary for a minute or so and I felt really anxious. The topic of the meeting was about a get together for the school finishing the academic year with drinking being part of it so I was also thinking I should avoid that...I am not sure if that placed me in a mental spot where I flashed back to a meeting.

I have no idea what happened but I am afraid this will repeat it self in subsequent meetings outside of AA.

HAs any one experienced this?

yeahgr8

For me no, i made a big enough tit of myself and behaved in such an appalling manner when drunk that if anyone knew i was going to AA my credibility would have gone up several notches:-)

CarolD

I'm so glad to know you are heading into recovery

Try to remember how productive and interesting your
sober future will be. You are doing the very best
thing for yourself.

At my 2nd AA meeting I knew 6 people...not one said
I did not belong there. They were there for the
exact same reason.....to find their way into joy.

I've never made a point of keeping my AA committment
a secret....but I never discuss who else is n AA.

I too avoided drinking situations early on. If you must
attend....go late leave early usually works best.

Please try to relax....I never have and I've been sober
a long time.

All my best.....

Mark75

I am a Boy Scout leader and we close each meeting by holding hands in a big circle and with a prayer... it starts:

May all scouts be prepared to go, not only on the earthly trail, but also upon the heavenly trail....

I am always afraid I'll start it off with:

God, grant me the serenity...

Mark

four812

how funny! yes and i've also almost done that too

keep up the good work

Hoper

I guess there is definitely a funny side to this story! LOL. Thanks for the replies and making me look at this from another point of view. I guess its much better to be afraid of this while being in control sober than being afraid of what happened last night and who should I apologize to lacking control.

Note to the side...got a small craving after dinner, wanted to go to the gym to shake it off but I was full and its already late. I have a hidden bag of chocolates which I broke out...had a small dark chocolate and I was proud of having my chocolate! I still think excercise is better but this felt GOOOOD! Just thought I'd share my affair with hershey's today.

topspin

Hoper,

I thought it was funny too !, like in a screenwriters sort of way.
After yeahgr8's message (his avatar , cracks me up anyway ) and then Mark's message, I thought oh no, this is funny LOL

I've become a little hesitant to say anything since I've never participated in any type of forum, combined with the fact I'm so newly sober. Fully aware I'm the last person qualified to offer anything helpful .....like Carol or Dee ( just to mention a few )always seems to do


I'm glad to be here though, ...cause this forum has taught me more than I could have ever expected the last 9 days. Already realizing I need to think, think, think , before I just start typing.

Sounds like you're on the right track !!!!

...trying to do the next right thing in my life, ..one day at a time