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My life seems to be geeting harder not easier

Old 04-12-2010, 10:27 AM
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My life seems to be geeting harder not easier

I am so frustrated. I am nearly 4 months sober. During this period, my sister who is my dearest friend and a non-smoker, has been diagnosed with stage IV metastatic lung cancer, my father is in rehab after a surgery that led to a horrible infection and my partner's migraine condition seems to be getting worse right now. The situation with my partner leave e to tend to our children (one of whom has cerebral palsy) on my own along with helping mys sister, mother and father. The situation with my sister is utterly devastating. It is hard for me to concentrate at work and yet, this is an extraordinarily busy time at work. Every place I look, I see stress and I really feel lile I can't take it. I don't want to drink but I also don't want to live like this.

How is it possible that I try to get myself in a better place by quitting alcohol only to find myself in one of the shittiest places of my entire life?

I also have a Stage IV breast cancer that has thankfully been in a complete remission for 3 years. I am so scared that all this stress is going to awaken the cancer at some point. I quit drinking to live sober and because alcohol is not a good thing for people with breast cancer.

I thought life would improve sober but it has actually gotten a lot worse. For today I will not drink over it but man, this totally sucks.

2be
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Old 04-12-2010, 10:33 AM
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Im off to a meeting right now
even at 19 yrs sober. All i have
is today.

I wouldnt be helpful to anyone
else if i was drinking.

My recovery is no. 1 then the
rest will fall into place as it
will be.

Ill write more later.

You are IMPORTANT.
Your recovery is that
IMPORTANT.
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Old 04-12-2010, 10:35 AM
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Sorry to know of these sad happenings.
Prayer gives me comfort in all situatioms...
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Old 04-12-2010, 10:43 AM
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That is some serious stuff for sure, but it's life, which goes on whether we drink and/or drug or not.

I know for me (and I'm about 4 months in too), being sober has been really, really tough and uncomfortable. Now I don't have any health problems, but I do have problems and dealing with these problems are tough, especially dealing with them sober.

I want to see what's on the other side of this. I want to see what's on the other side of "getting and staying sober" more than I want a quick fix drink/drunk today.

Hang in there.
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Old 04-12-2010, 10:51 AM
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Originally Posted by 2besober View Post
How is it possible that I try to get myself in a better place by quitting alcohol only to find myself in one of the shittiest places of my entire life?
Think how much worse it would be if you were drunk...

This is a time where many find strength they didn't know they had. Meaning and purpose in your life and it's twists and turns... You have to look. Many find it in spirituality.

None of it makes any sense, so trying to figure it out doesn't either.

Prayers for you and your sister.

Mark
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Old 04-12-2010, 11:09 AM
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I am sorry that you find yourself in such a bad place. The only thing I can say is that it would be so much worse to be going thru all this if you were still drinking. Life isn't fair, at all, and bad things happen to good people for no reason that makes sense to us. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Don't give up your sobriety no matter what cause drinking will only make it worse.
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Old 04-12-2010, 11:35 AM
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Wow! That is a lot to swallow for sure. My only thought about this is that all these things would happen if you were sober or you weren't. Life seems to attack us at times, but the sober self doesn't shrivel up and crawl under the covers like the alcoholic. The sober self tries to reason things out and go with it.

The Serenity Prayer has helped me countless times and I pray that it helps you, but you really have to apply this to the things that are clouding your world right now. Posting it here for you -

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Okay the first part is the one I have heard most often but the second paragraph is good too. Kind of ying and yang; good and bad. You can't know happiness if you have not endured sadness. You need to have a comparison.

The second paragraph is also directed to people that believe in a power greater then themselves. The world is much easier if you believe there is something else that is in charge. I don't know if that's your belief or not and so pardon me if this does not apply to you. I am only "trying" to help.

The problem with your situation is it is all coming at you at once. Do you meditate? How about exercise? You have to find a way to release that stress that's building in you so you don't get sick.
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Old 04-12-2010, 11:36 AM
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Wow, sounds like you are going through a lot. My thoughts & prayers are with you & yours. As mentioned above, imagine if you had to go through this drunk/hungover.... uggghh!

You might find some friendly people who understand what you are going through in a lot of ways in the rooms of AA, just throwing it out there.

All of the best in your recovery & your current challenges.

Take Care,

NB
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Old 04-12-2010, 02:01 PM
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Mark75 said "Think how much worse it would be if you were drunk... `
He is right !!
You would have to sober up first to tackle your problems..
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Old 04-12-2010, 02:02 PM
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Sorry , double post.
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Old 04-12-2010, 02:40 PM
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I will keep you in my prayers too. In spite of all you are going through and the incredible stress you face, you still serve as a great example -- probably to all the family you have mentioned. Remember too that, inevitably, the darkest hour is just before dawn.
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Old 04-12-2010, 03:52 PM
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Prayers out to you 2be.
I'm sorry it's all so hard - but lean on us and your other friends

D
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