How insidious this all is.
How insidious this all is.
After 3 months fron october to January without a drink, I have had several occasions where I have had a glass or two of wine. And now these are more frequent lapses and I don't want to go back where I was. Howdo people re-commit themselves to abstinence? I feel so much better yet have romantic notions about wine. Am clearly trying to straddle a fence. The pressure to be remain straight is hard to deal with but then giving into even moderate drinking creates pressure too. Why can't I get comfortable with either lifestyle?
I know it's hard. At three months, there simply wasn't enough time to find out if you're comfortable with a sober lifestyle.
Start with simplier ideas perhaps? Tell yourself that in six months you can drink if you still want to. Then just try to keep repeating it every six months. ;-)
Start with simplier ideas perhaps? Tell yourself that in six months you can drink if you still want to. Then just try to keep repeating it every six months. ;-)
Am clearly trying to straddle a fence.
I hope you can get off that fence and stay sober. Sobriety really rocks! Not to mention the dangers of drinking that staying sober eliminates.
Read here watsonc. Read everyday.
Not just this forum, but Alcoholism as well - and Family and Friends.
That's the best way I know to challenge those romantic notions, and re-commit oneself to sobriety
D
Not just this forum, but Alcoholism as well - and Family and Friends.
That's the best way I know to challenge those romantic notions, and re-commit oneself to sobriety
D
I have those "romantic notions" as well. I work in a restaurant (where about 35% of our sales are alcohol) and see our customers, many of whom are my friends, and employees (after work, of course) hanging out and having fun and enjoying a few drinks. I find myself thinking, "I can do that. 1 beer and 1 shot won't hurt."
But the problem is, I know that when those people leave and go home, they'll probably have a nice feeling from the alcohol, watch a little TV and head to bed.
I, on the other hand, even if I controlled my drinking in public, would likely pick up a 24-oz beer to drink on the drive home and kill a 6-pack of tall boys once I got to the house. Or as many of the 6 as I could drink before I blacked out and passed out on the couch in my clothes and sweat from the night at work.
That's where my problem lies. Heck yeah, I'd love to be like most people and have a couple drinks, not have a problem cutting myself off, and have a lovely evening. That's unfortunately not how I operate. That 1 drink for me leads to a lot of bad stuff that the majority of the population doesn't have to worry about. And that kinda sucks, but all I can do is play the hand I've been dealt. I got a problem, and I can either ignore it and allow it to destroy me, or I can man up and attack it head on. I've chosen the latter.
But the problem is, I know that when those people leave and go home, they'll probably have a nice feeling from the alcohol, watch a little TV and head to bed.
I, on the other hand, even if I controlled my drinking in public, would likely pick up a 24-oz beer to drink on the drive home and kill a 6-pack of tall boys once I got to the house. Or as many of the 6 as I could drink before I blacked out and passed out on the couch in my clothes and sweat from the night at work.
That's where my problem lies. Heck yeah, I'd love to be like most people and have a couple drinks, not have a problem cutting myself off, and have a lovely evening. That's unfortunately not how I operate. That 1 drink for me leads to a lot of bad stuff that the majority of the population doesn't have to worry about. And that kinda sucks, but all I can do is play the hand I've been dealt. I got a problem, and I can either ignore it and allow it to destroy me, or I can man up and attack it head on. I've chosen the latter.
For me, there was a big difference between abstinence and recovery. I can't abstain and feel good about it, but I can feel good in active recovery. AA, SR, helping other alcoholics -- that is what does it for me. There is no silver bullet, though, just a lot of honesty, open mindedness, and hard work. But, it is so so worth it.
I had nothing but romantic notions about my drinking for nearly 30 years. Those romantic notions finally landed me in the hospital, thinking I was losing my mind.
Nobody was going to hold my hand and make it stop...I had to dig down deep and find the strength to finally change my ways. That was almost 10 months ago and I can honestly say that my worst day sober has been WAY better than my best day drunk.
It takes a lot of soul searching, but we can and do recover.
Nobody was going to hold my hand and make it stop...I had to dig down deep and find the strength to finally change my ways. That was almost 10 months ago and I can honestly say that my worst day sober has been WAY better than my best day drunk.
It takes a lot of soul searching, but we can and do recover.
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