Hi my name is Andi and I'm an alcoholic...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Hi my name is Andi and I'm an alcoholic...
Hi everyone,
I've found the site about a day or two ago and I've spent a lot of time reading through the forum. I'm grateful I found it because of all the recognizable stories people are sharing. And also for learning about the thusfar unkown "possibilities" this horrible disease could have in store for me if I don't stop picking up that "one" drink.
I've been sober since, well not really sure...drunk thursday till well after midnight, I guess that means I've been sober since saturday? So today is the third day.
Keeping it short for today, and not really sure what to say next, but I guess that'll come later on.
I've found the site about a day or two ago and I've spent a lot of time reading through the forum. I'm grateful I found it because of all the recognizable stories people are sharing. And also for learning about the thusfar unkown "possibilities" this horrible disease could have in store for me if I don't stop picking up that "one" drink.
I've been sober since, well not really sure...drunk thursday till well after midnight, I guess that means I've been sober since saturday? So today is the third day.
Keeping it short for today, and not really sure what to say next, but I guess that'll come later on.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 343
Andi,
Welcome, and congratulations on making a decision to quit. I tired everything I could think of to keep drinking---pacing myself, changing liquors, drinking with food, drinking without food, waiting 'til dark, etc---but the results were the same. I always came to (as opposed to waking up) with nausea, vomiting, a headache....despairing because I could not remember what I had done---or maybe because I did remember and had an awful sinking feeling. My last episode was a doozy--DWI, a night in jail. I was in deep trouble. It was over; I surrendered. Just couldn't keep it up any longer.
So I went to treatment. Of course, I did not think that I needed treatment, for I had vowed never to drink again. Infact, I was about five weeks dry by that point, but going to treatment would look good when I went to court on the DWI charge. The thing that scared me about not drinking was that I would have to live sober. I just didn't know how I would carry the shame and the self-loathing into a sober life. That's where AA came in. The rehab facility required that I attend meetings, though I just knew it wouldn't be right for me. I had heard all sorts of things---especially that it was a religious group. Thankfully, I was wrong. Today I have been sober for many years. It is rare that I attend meetings now, but I still subscribe to the 12 steps.
I am fairly new to this site, but there are lots of points of view. I think you will find a great deal of support.
Welcome, and congratulations on making a decision to quit. I tired everything I could think of to keep drinking---pacing myself, changing liquors, drinking with food, drinking without food, waiting 'til dark, etc---but the results were the same. I always came to (as opposed to waking up) with nausea, vomiting, a headache....despairing because I could not remember what I had done---or maybe because I did remember and had an awful sinking feeling. My last episode was a doozy--DWI, a night in jail. I was in deep trouble. It was over; I surrendered. Just couldn't keep it up any longer.
So I went to treatment. Of course, I did not think that I needed treatment, for I had vowed never to drink again. Infact, I was about five weeks dry by that point, but going to treatment would look good when I went to court on the DWI charge. The thing that scared me about not drinking was that I would have to live sober. I just didn't know how I would carry the shame and the self-loathing into a sober life. That's where AA came in. The rehab facility required that I attend meetings, though I just knew it wouldn't be right for me. I had heard all sorts of things---especially that it was a religious group. Thankfully, I was wrong. Today I have been sober for many years. It is rare that I attend meetings now, but I still subscribe to the 12 steps.
I am fairly new to this site, but there are lots of points of view. I think you will find a great deal of support.
Three days is a good start on a better way of living.Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
All the way from one day sober
to many one days at a time
collected to get yrs sober. We
are all learning from each other
on how to stay stopped drinking
or using a day at a time.
Learning and educating ourselves
about our diseases thru various
programs offered to us.
Once we r exposed to recovery then
our drinking or using careers will
never be the same.
Welcome to the beginning of a new
and rewarding life for u.
to many one days at a time
collected to get yrs sober. We
are all learning from each other
on how to stay stopped drinking
or using a day at a time.
Learning and educating ourselves
about our diseases thru various
programs offered to us.
Once we r exposed to recovery then
our drinking or using careers will
never be the same.
Welcome to the beginning of a new
and rewarding life for u.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
Welcome Andi!
This is a great place for us to share and know that we are not alone in our struggles. Look forward to traveling on your journey with you! Congrats on 3 days sober and exploring how to take your life back!
This is a great place for us to share and know that we are not alone in our struggles. Look forward to traveling on your journey with you! Congrats on 3 days sober and exploring how to take your life back!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community....
When I was new in AA....someone said
"It's the first one that gets you drunk"
I thought she was soooo wrong..not really an alcoholic.
geez! ....I could drink at least 6 ....
Glad you are here
When I was new in AA....someone said
"It's the first one that gets you drunk"
I thought she was soooo wrong..not really an alcoholic.
geez! ....I could drink at least 6 ....
Glad you are here
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
welcome to sr andy.
this is a great place and i use it alongside AA in my journey of recovery.
i tried to stop many times over the years but i think my longest period was 2 weeks.
so when i got serious about recovery i knew i needed a recovery plan.
i use the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and my life is good these days.
i wish you well on your journey.
this is a great place and i use it alongside AA in my journey of recovery.
i tried to stop many times over the years but i think my longest period was 2 weeks.
so when i got serious about recovery i knew i needed a recovery plan.
i use the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and my life is good these days.
i wish you well on your journey.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR Andi, I too had my life saved by AA, I would suggest to seek out AA or another long term recovery program for support & guidance, as you can see here, you are not alone in this & there is no real reason to try & do this alone either, seek out any & all help you can get, seek out people tho know how to stay sober long term & simply ask for help.
BTW seeing your Dr. & being totally honest is a VERY good idea.
BTW seeing your Dr. & being totally honest is a VERY good idea.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Thanks,
For welcoming me so warmly. I was reading a bit of the reply's while at work, but decided to answer while I was home and at ease.
I am a binge drinker, don't drink everyday, manage to drink socially every once in a while, to go completely beserk the next time. Or drinking at home, while my child is sleeping etc.
The times after I'm able to drink socially without misbehaving or acting stupid are always paired with an ppffeww I pulled it off, but then sometimes I'll be at home and drink lots more even while feeling exhausted...were as non-alcoholic people will call it a night, go home and do something else.
I have been to AA meetings and found them very very usefull (about one or two years ago) and haven't been as bad since. That was also the time I started talking to a doctor about my behaviour. He then gave me Campral, but how "fond" I am of booze, I can never keep up with any type of medication or pills, doesn't matter if it is beause of the flu or anything else. But I have found it very hard to keep at it (AA), because I am a single, working (more then full-time sometimes) mom.
So when I found this site I was glad, I'm hoping this will help out and there is tons to read to occupy me at night. Am also soooo thankful for my son, because if it wasn't for him, i'd be lying in a gutter by now, of that I'm very sure. Because of him I have managed to stay on top in my job, managed to buy a place etc despite this disease. I want to be able to care of him, but I also want to be able to take care of me.
Day 4 went well, I was feeling energetic and got a lot done, sun was shining...but at the same time my optimism scares the sh*t out of me, cause often just feeling great and hyped has caused me to drink!! So trying to keep my cool and trying to realize I'm not out of the woods, far from. But today is almost over and it will be a day without alcohol.
ps: I had a dream last night, I was a part of a secret society and it was all very mysterious and exciting. When I woke up I had to smile because I thought of SR immediately! :-)))
For welcoming me so warmly. I was reading a bit of the reply's while at work, but decided to answer while I was home and at ease.
I am a binge drinker, don't drink everyday, manage to drink socially every once in a while, to go completely beserk the next time. Or drinking at home, while my child is sleeping etc.
The times after I'm able to drink socially without misbehaving or acting stupid are always paired with an ppffeww I pulled it off, but then sometimes I'll be at home and drink lots more even while feeling exhausted...were as non-alcoholic people will call it a night, go home and do something else.
I have been to AA meetings and found them very very usefull (about one or two years ago) and haven't been as bad since. That was also the time I started talking to a doctor about my behaviour. He then gave me Campral, but how "fond" I am of booze, I can never keep up with any type of medication or pills, doesn't matter if it is beause of the flu or anything else. But I have found it very hard to keep at it (AA), because I am a single, working (more then full-time sometimes) mom.
So when I found this site I was glad, I'm hoping this will help out and there is tons to read to occupy me at night. Am also soooo thankful for my son, because if it wasn't for him, i'd be lying in a gutter by now, of that I'm very sure. Because of him I have managed to stay on top in my job, managed to buy a place etc despite this disease. I want to be able to care of him, but I also want to be able to take care of me.
Day 4 went well, I was feeling energetic and got a lot done, sun was shining...but at the same time my optimism scares the sh*t out of me, cause often just feeling great and hyped has caused me to drink!! So trying to keep my cool and trying to realize I'm not out of the woods, far from. But today is almost over and it will be a day without alcohol.
ps: I had a dream last night, I was a part of a secret society and it was all very mysterious and exciting. When I woke up I had to smile because I thought of SR immediately! :-)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
Welcome to SR Andi, I too had my life saved by AA, I would suggest to seek out AA or another long term recovery program for support & guidance, as you can see here, you are not alone in this & there is no real reason to try & do this alone either, seek out any & all help you can get, seek out people tho know how to stay sober long term & simply ask for help.
BTW seeing your Dr. & being totally honest is a VERY good idea.
BTW seeing your Dr. & being totally honest is a VERY good idea.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Welcome, Andi. I'm on Day 13 and this site has been tremendous for me. Like many here, I have found help in AA. Working the steps, talking to my sponsor, fellowship at meetings, it's all been good.
Focus on the things you love in life and want to keep. I constantly think of my fiancee and I know that if I go back to drinking, it will be worse than before and I will lose the best thing in my life. That's a pretty big motivator.
Focus on the things you love in life and want to keep. I constantly think of my fiancee and I know that if I go back to drinking, it will be worse than before and I will lose the best thing in my life. That's a pretty big motivator.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Originally Posted by Snarf
Welcome, Andi. I'm on Day 13 and this site has been tremendous for me. Like many here, I have found help in AA. Working the steps, talking to my sponsor, fellowship at meetings, it's all been good.
Focus on the things you love in life and want to keep. I constantly think of my fiancee and I know that if I go back to drinking, it will be worse than before and I will lose the best thing in my life. That's a pretty big motivator.
Focus on the things you love in life and want to keep. I constantly think of my fiancee and I know that if I go back to drinking, it will be worse than before and I will lose the best thing in my life. That's a pretty big motivator.
Congrats on your 13 days!
I have lost my husband, (partially) because of the booze, there were some other factors as well. I loved him and I still do. So now I'm thinking, why was loving him not enough??? Maybe because I need to learn how to love myself more and listen to the inner cues my body, soul and the universe are telling me, just my thought. Learning how to do that is an entire different story...
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