Hi my name is Andi and I'm an alcoholic...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
60th day
I thought I'd put this update under my first post I wrote on SR.
I'm on the 60th day now and my world has been turned around in such short amount of time, it's amazing. I couldn't be doing this without this site and my sense of a HP.
The first couple of weeks were not easy, eating candy in the middle of the night, sleeping bad, acting irritable and knowing why. But still "something" kept me from drinking. Those feelings eased down a lot, are mostly gone actually.
This might be of help to you who are starting out fresh, it's worth it, YOU're worth it.
It's still early days and I sometimes get that little devil saying, hey you could go ahead and have just one. Then I think of putting a glass of wine in my mouth and really tasting, not gulping down, a sip. And everytime I realize that a) I can't see myself actually do it b) I don't even really like the taste. So I'm trying to keep that feeling alive.
I'm not trying to forget about my past, but it is the past. I look forward to the rest of the day and we'll see what treasures tomorrow brings.
x
I'm on the 60th day now and my world has been turned around in such short amount of time, it's amazing. I couldn't be doing this without this site and my sense of a HP.
The first couple of weeks were not easy, eating candy in the middle of the night, sleeping bad, acting irritable and knowing why. But still "something" kept me from drinking. Those feelings eased down a lot, are mostly gone actually.
This might be of help to you who are starting out fresh, it's worth it, YOU're worth it.
It's still early days and I sometimes get that little devil saying, hey you could go ahead and have just one. Then I think of putting a glass of wine in my mouth and really tasting, not gulping down, a sip. And everytime I realize that a) I can't see myself actually do it b) I don't even really like the taste. So I'm trying to keep that feeling alive.
I'm not trying to forget about my past, but it is the past. I look forward to the rest of the day and we'll see what treasures tomorrow brings.
x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 385
Originally Posted by murrill 
Andi,
Welcome, and congratulations on making a decision to quit. I tired everything I could think of to keep drinking---pacing myself, changing liquors, drinking with food, drinking without food, waiting 'til dark, etc---but the results were the same. I always came to (as opposed to waking up) with nausea, vomiting, a headache....despairing because I could not remember what I had done---or maybe because I did remember and had an awful sinking feeling. My last episode was a doozy--DWI, a night in jail. I was in deep trouble. It was over; I surrendered. Just couldn't keep it up any longer.
So I went to treatment. Of course, I did not think that I needed treatment, for I had vowed never to drink again. Infact, I was about five weeks dry by that point, but going to treatment would look good when I went to court on the DWI charge. The thing that scared me about not drinking was that I would have to live sober. I just didn't know how I would carry the shame and the self-loathing into a sober life. That's where AA came in. The rehab facility required that I attend meetings, though I just knew it wouldn't be right for me. I had heard all sorts of things---especially that it was a religious group. Thankfully, I was wrong. Today I have been sober for many years. It is rare that I attend meetings now, but I still subscribe to the 12 steps.
I am fairly new to this site, but there are lots of points of view. I think you will find a great deal of support.
Welcome, and congratulations on making a decision to quit. I tired everything I could think of to keep drinking---pacing myself, changing liquors, drinking with food, drinking without food, waiting 'til dark, etc---but the results were the same. I always came to (as opposed to waking up) with nausea, vomiting, a headache....despairing because I could not remember what I had done---or maybe because I did remember and had an awful sinking feeling. My last episode was a doozy--DWI, a night in jail. I was in deep trouble. It was over; I surrendered. Just couldn't keep it up any longer.
So I went to treatment. Of course, I did not think that I needed treatment, for I had vowed never to drink again. Infact, I was about five weeks dry by that point, but going to treatment would look good when I went to court on the DWI charge. The thing that scared me about not drinking was that I would have to live sober. I just didn't know how I would carry the shame and the self-loathing into a sober life. That's where AA came in. The rehab facility required that I attend meetings, though I just knew it wouldn't be right for me. I had heard all sorts of things---especially that it was a religious group. Thankfully, I was wrong. Today I have been sober for many years. It is rare that I attend meetings now, but I still subscribe to the 12 steps.
I am fairly new to this site, but there are lots of points of view. I think you will find a great deal of support.
blessings
zenbear
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
60 DAYS!!! Yippee! It was great to read your posts in the first few days and then to read that you have two months now. That's really fantastic! I could relate to your story, too (single mom and all). Keep up the good work!!!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,511
Andi, That's the kind of post that makes it all worthwhile. Coming here and holding each other up - sharing what we know, and where we've been. This place has meant the world to me. I'm glad you've found help and support here with us. Be proud.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 159
Thanks!
Usually I post under the "Class of April 2010" aka Aprillers ;-)
To have a "sub-group" has helped me, it gives a sense of belonging.
But yeah I think it's important to come back to the other threads in newcomers and share experiences from time to time (even in a hectic schedule). It's such a small effort if it can help some people feel a little less desperate during early days. Plus when I help others, I'm also helping me...sometimes a vicious circle can be a good thing! ;-))
Usually I post under the "Class of April 2010" aka Aprillers ;-)
To have a "sub-group" has helped me, it gives a sense of belonging.
But yeah I think it's important to come back to the other threads in newcomers and share experiences from time to time (even in a hectic schedule). It's such a small effort if it can help some people feel a little less desperate during early days. Plus when I help others, I'm also helping me...sometimes a vicious circle can be a good thing! ;-))
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