I don't know what to do
 

I need someone to talk to, and as sad as my life is the only people I could think of was someone here. I have not posted for ages so only some of you will know me. I don't even know why I am posting here, I don't think my current problem has anything to do with drink. Well apart from the fact I don't know how to cope with problems without drinking as that is how I usually cope with everything.

I have had a few drinks tonight when I really really should not have, more so than normal, I don't know what to do. I know this is really kinda cryptic but i dare not say the truth as then everyone one will think of me as bad as I think of myself.

Hi Sax

I dunno what the problem is but I know you'll find help here :)
Drinking over whatever it is tho is counterproductive - we both know that :)

D

Not sure how to help not knowing what's up, but I hope you get the support that you're looking for!!

Tomorrow is a new day

Hang in there saxony, I'm only on day one but have been sober and relapsed numerous times- just wake up tomorrow and jump straight back on the wagon

I hope we can help you find your way to sobriety soon. :) Don't give up on yourself, start over again and learn from your mistakes.

I know it is, I have stopped now and thrown away the rest in the house, I didn't drink loads and the first time in over two weeks, can't believe I drank any though, I just feel so bad that I drank at all. I was just upset, it's no excuse, I have never felt like an alcoholic more so than I do now.

It's what we do Sax - until we decide enough is enough and we find other better ways to cope.

Don't give up - the fact you keep coming back is a good thing, not a bad one.
D

Yeah but the fact is I drank, knowing I was pregnant :( It wasn't loads and like I say I threw the rest away, only because I knew I would not stop if I drank much more. I just can't believe I drank any at all, I have not had any since I found out, just over two weeks ago, but one really bad day and there I am back to the only thing I know, I feel like the worst person ever. I have had the worst weekend, I don't know how to cope, I don't know what to think, I don't want to be me right now :(

Don't beat yourself up about it. You can put that energy into making good choices and we are all here to support you! The fact that you tossed the rest of the booze in your house speaks volumes about your power to make healthy decisions. Sending good vibes your way...

hey Saxony,

I'm 40something - I'm pretty sure a lot of our parents drank when we were conceived - mine did - noone knew any better.

I'm not a doctor but common sense suggests one drinking episode, and you and the bub will probably be ok

That being said, you're an alcoholic...if you keep drinking with any regularity the chances are your child will end up with fetal alcohol syndrome or some other related condition, and I know you don't want that.

It's time to do something R.

See your doctor, see a counsellor, try AA or any one of the other recovery programmes...but do something.

Harming ourselves is bad enough but I know you want whats best for the new baby.

Act now, mate :)
D

Saxony,

I'm glad you threw away the alcohol and stopped drinking. I agree with Dee that you need to take some action right now so you can get through the rest of your pregnancy without drinking. Please take care of yourself and your child.

The thing is, I am not even sure I want this baby, and I can't believe I am even writing this, today when I had that first drink it was because I didn't care, I was thinking maybe if I drink it will go away, and I won't have to decide anything, yeah thats how bad a person I am, I kinda came to my senses and stopped drinking, because I know I was not really of sound mind you know, but I really really don't know what to do.

Then it's even more important that you get to your Dr and discuss all your options, Sax.

D

Hi Sax. I'm glad you came here to talk about this. You still have many friends here who care about you. You already know this - nothing is made any better by drinking. This is the time for staying clearheaded to make important decisions without being in a fog. I'll be thinking of you & praying you'll feel better when you get the stuff out of your system. Love, Joanie

Glad you are here, Sax.

just read your post sax,

and thinking of you as a 'bad person' is the last thing to come to mind. a big thing is going on in your life now. pregnancy. first possibly harming the baby. and second not sure if you want the baby. there are many people like you in the same dilemna, even right now and you would not persecute them as much as you may be doing to yourself.

take me for instance...i have punished myself for many years because of things that happened to me when i was a child. things i did and didn't do. i've punished myself over and over and over. i don't know why we do that...i would have complete empathy for someone else who had my life, but for myself: none.

you are a beautiful person. i just know that. deep inside you do care about you.

follow your heart as best you can. and thanks for your post

Well don't disappear from here again, make sure you stay and post about this...drink or no drink:-)

Hello Sax,

I also don't think badly of you. You're in a delicate crisis situation and need some guidance. I think it's wonderful you thought to come here.

Good for you for getting rid of the rest of the alcohol.

To help prevent drinking to relieve the immense stress you must be feeling, is there a women's community health center where you are that offers support for women who are pregnant, unsure of what to do and can help you explore your options?

My thoughts and prayers are with you for getting the support you need - it's out there, don't be afraid to ask for help.

Take care ~

Saxony,

I remember you from when I joined here about a year ago. Yours was one of the first posts I responded to. Just like then, I can offer you the same solution that transformed my life, and as a side benefit, has kept me sober. A spiritual awakening as the result of AA's 12 steps. All you have to do is be willing to take the action.

I definitely remember you well Sax and I do pray that you won't just disappear this time, but more important then SR is that you take action and find a way to stop drinking. I don't care which method you take, but I do care that you do something. Wishing that baby away isn't going to make it disappear, but a lot worse could happen if you don't address it. I am sure you know that. Listen to that inner voice and please keep in touch here. I wish you were closer. Internet is good at times and frustrating as heck other times.

Do you have anyone you can talk to? Do you have a church? A counselor? A friend? A family member? A hotline? Something or someone that could help you would be a good start. Don't close the world out now. Don't hide either. Please.