My New Journey
 

Hello All,

I first came across this site quite a while ago. Since then, after a typical binge, I wake up in the morning feeling guilty and depressed, log onto the computer and read some of these amazing messages. I did not want to post my first message back then because I did not want to be accountable for giving up drinking as I thought I would be able to "reduce" my drinking, i.e. just have two drinks when I go out, three on special occasions. I have since learned that that is every Alcoholic's dream. I planned to give up drinking in February for a month to give my body a rest and did not find it too difficult to stick to my plans. When I started drinking again in March, it was moderate but then soon I was right back to binging, blacking out, making pest phonecalls, the lot. I read someone's post here on this Forum and it stated something that has stuck with me: "it is easy to give up drinking, but hard to stay sober". I planned to have my last drink this Easter and had it last night. Wish me luck.

Welcome to SR! :) It can be hard to stay sober sometimes but the rewards are so worth it.

Welcome to the sharing part of SR.....:wavey:
All my best as you move forward.

The problem I've found, EndlessNight, is that after a period of sobriety, my mind tells me that it is okay to drink again. Alcoholism is a thinking disease. Sooner or later I would forget what would happen when I drink. And if I remembered, then my mind would tell me that that won't happen this time. "This time it will be different." That is the mental obsession part of the disease. Once I've taken a drink, the physical allergy and craving take over. Maybe the first several time will be moderate intake. But sooner or later, the amounts of alcohol increase, and it is back to an all-out binge. I have found that self-knowledge and willpower don't work to fight the disease of alcoholism. I had to find a Power Greater Than myself which would solve my problem for me. Have you tried AA?

No I haven't tried AA yet but am prepared to. I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to give up drinking. I actually have a name of a Hypnotherapist here that has had some success with helping people quit drinking. I also want to buy some books on Alcohol Dependency and was going to post elsewhere in this Forum for suggestions on book titles.

sTAY STRONG

Thanks for joining us! AA has been terrific for me these last 11 days. I went to AA 4 years ago, but I couldn't grasp the first step: "We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, and that our lives had become unmanageable." I didn't think I was powerless; I had power over anything I wanted. My life certainly wasn't unmanageable; I worked, went to school and had an awesome girlfriend.

Fast forward 4 years. Back in school (missed about 4 years), got fired from a good job, and my fiancee (same awesome woman) was on the verge of leaving me. Actually, she did break up with me and tell me to move out. It's because of AA, the people here and the changes she's seen in me the last 11 days that we are together again, but the ice is very thin.

I now know I'm powerless. That's not even in debate, if any objective outsider were to view my behavior and lack of control over how much I drank. Unmanageable? Yep, pretty much. That realization hit me like a ton of bricks; once that happened, AA was the only logical place for me to go. And it's been great.

Welcome Endless,

Your first step (having your last drink last night) is probably the best gift you will ever give yourself. Congratulations!

Your second step of posting here, where you are among friends, is another great gift. I am on my 8th day of sobriety and the first thing I do everyday since joining is log on here and read the posts I missed during the night. Every time I think of drinking, I read some more. SR and the posters have been a great help to me.

I wish you the best of luck on your recovery and look forward to seeing you around here.

Hi there, this is my experience, last year when i stopped for 5 months it was really hard and sucked ass after the initial elation of not drinking anymore had gone and all i had done is removed the booze and not changed a thing about me so instead of being able to deaden the emotions and feelings i was stuck with them 24/7...this time i went to AA 9 months ago, did what they told me, looked at myself for the first time and it has not been hard at all and now i can say that it truly is a joy to be sober instead of just paying lip service to that phrase, well worth a visit to AA when you are ready...welcome and good luck:-)

Thank you all for your fabulous messages of support. I now have more incentive to succeed so as to not let you down.

I know that most people push the AA way here and I am entertaining the idea if I fall off the wagon. I am an Atheist and whilst I know that some meetings are less focused on the "religion" side of AA, I am limited to what meetings I can access. I have moved to a rural area from the city (in a bid to cut down the boozing) and there are very few meetings in my area (I have checked). If they were overly religious, I would probably walk out.

Anyway, I will try my way first and see how it goes.

EndlessNight,
There is no incompatibility between being an atheist and attending AA and working the steps of the AA program. I made the AA group itself my higher power. I took the qualities of the group (i.e., their wisdom, their strength, their compassion, etc.) and made those qualities my ideal of a "God of my understanding." No doctrine. No dogma. No religious faith. GOD = Good Orderly Direction GOD = Group of Drunks You have to be a little creative, but it can easily be done. On the other hand, you are free to try any method of staying sober that you choose. If you think some other way will work better for you, then by all means, try it. I can say that AA worked for me.
SusanLauren