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Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Frank I'm going to be in your same situation soon. As you said, conditions are optimal for a huge bender. I suggest you go spend the money on having as fun a day as possible without booze. Whatever it is you like, rent some dvd's get a pizza, buy a game, go to a movie, whatever floats your boat. Get some endorphins into you, I think that's important.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Do what you gotta do FrankBarone. Sometimes them hatches have just gotta be battened down!! Gotta be done at times.
Just remember that your mates probably aren't alcoholics. I empathise with you mate and can relate. Try to keep your thinking concerned with whats best for you and try not to worry about what others are doing. I haven't read your story but i can imagine you're here for a reason. Think where those beers at the footy will take you mate. I can relate to the lifestyle mate. It is truly a UK male thing. Mine is more music based but also used to enjoy watching the footy and getting wrecked. Everybody seems to be doing it on a weekend in UK. It's an easy and enjoyable recreational activity, but it comes at a heavy price for an alcoholic.
Keep your thoughts firmly rooted in the present and remember what will happen when you wake up not remebering how you got home, what you did/said etcetc. Not good.
These are the things that have to be overcome if you want to stay sober and start on a new path in life. This is why most people revert back to their old 'easy' ways again.
Just don't pick up and you'll get through it and post lots on SR. It really helps me and has helped me through similar situations.
All the best mate, peace
Just remember that your mates probably aren't alcoholics. I empathise with you mate and can relate. Try to keep your thinking concerned with whats best for you and try not to worry about what others are doing. I haven't read your story but i can imagine you're here for a reason. Think where those beers at the footy will take you mate. I can relate to the lifestyle mate. It is truly a UK male thing. Mine is more music based but also used to enjoy watching the footy and getting wrecked. Everybody seems to be doing it on a weekend in UK. It's an easy and enjoyable recreational activity, but it comes at a heavy price for an alcoholic.
Keep your thoughts firmly rooted in the present and remember what will happen when you wake up not remebering how you got home, what you did/said etcetc. Not good.
These are the things that have to be overcome if you want to stay sober and start on a new path in life. This is why most people revert back to their old 'easy' ways again.
Just don't pick up and you'll get through it and post lots on SR. It really helps me and has helped me through similar situations.
All the best mate, peace
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 957
Originally Posted by FrankBarone 
I've a knot in my stomach, can't sit at peace or concentrate and have a general feeling that my head's ready to burst. This is all because I know that my mates are heading to the football tomorrow and then out on the beer and that I have a few quid burning a hole in my pocket - optimum conditions usually for the start of a genuinely unintended bender.
F.
I know that for me in my early sober days, I could not and would not put myself around alcohol, way too tempting for me, I always gave in.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Central Scotland
Posts: 174
So I got through the weekend OK. Dodged a bullet by not going to the football on Saturday and then managed out for a meal last night and quite enjoyed myself.
Today, I've felt increasingly restless as the day's went on. I'd set today aside to go and rectify a situation that came about during my last bender but as the day's gone on, I couldn't bring myself to leave the house and go and see this friend of mine who I've let down. I've let him down in a big way as he was trying to do me a favour and I've not lived up to my side of the bargain. I've told myself that I'll go tomorrow and sort things out but I can't be sure given how I've acted today.
I'm also weary of the possibility that if I go and sort some of my stuff out (basically I've been deliberately incomunicado for the last three weeks as I try to get sober) I might start to feel 'good' again and travel that well trodden path back to 'controlled' drinking. I'm not sure if I'm deliberately leaving some issues unaddressed in order that I keep myself 'down' so to speak, in the hope that the retention of this melancholic feeling will, somewhat paradoxically given that a lot of people drink when they feel bad or down about something, keep me away from alcohol.
Does the point that I'm trying to make in the third paragraph there make sense to anyone else? (It is clumsily put together on reflection).
As usual, all advice appreciated.
F.
Today, I've felt increasingly restless as the day's went on. I'd set today aside to go and rectify a situation that came about during my last bender but as the day's gone on, I couldn't bring myself to leave the house and go and see this friend of mine who I've let down. I've let him down in a big way as he was trying to do me a favour and I've not lived up to my side of the bargain. I've told myself that I'll go tomorrow and sort things out but I can't be sure given how I've acted today.
I'm also weary of the possibility that if I go and sort some of my stuff out (basically I've been deliberately incomunicado for the last three weeks as I try to get sober) I might start to feel 'good' again and travel that well trodden path back to 'controlled' drinking. I'm not sure if I'm deliberately leaving some issues unaddressed in order that I keep myself 'down' so to speak, in the hope that the retention of this melancholic feeling will, somewhat paradoxically given that a lot of people drink when they feel bad or down about something, keep me away from alcohol.
Does the point that I'm trying to make in the third paragraph there make sense to anyone else? (It is clumsily put together on reflection).
As usual, all advice appreciated.
F.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
hey Frankie sounds to me your holdin up pretty well...in the maelstrom of alcoholism ...
wish i could say the same fella...nah man doin roughly 2 weeks abstinate then a few days back on..not a way to go at all...keep the good work up fella your settin a fine example...i wish to follow best regards frank.
wish i could say the same fella...nah man doin roughly 2 weeks abstinate then a few days back on..not a way to go at all...keep the good work up fella your settin a fine example...i wish to follow best regards frank.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Central Scotland
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by Kerbcrawler
hey Frankie sounds to me your holdin up pretty well...in the maelstrom of alcoholism ...
wish i could say the same fella...nah man doin roughly 2 weeks abstinate then a few days back on..not a way to go at all...keep the good work up fella your settin a fine example...i wish to follow best regards frank.
wish i could say the same fella...nah man doin roughly 2 weeks abstinate then a few days back on..not a way to go at all...keep the good work up fella your settin a fine example...i wish to follow best regards frank.
Yeah, ten days off, four or five days on is my usual drinking shift pattern as well. Not good.
Cheers for the support.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Welcome FB! It looks like you are doing pretty well! Nice job.
Take things slowly, one day at a time.
There will be a time for amends and you may very well need to make some as you go along your days, but do not rush yourself.
I am sure your friends will be happy to see that your intentions are pure as you struggle to stay sober, one day at a time.
A living amends is always better than words. And that is where to keep your thoughts today.
You have no control over the past, but the future is up to you.
Keep up the good work!
Take things slowly, one day at a time.
There will be a time for amends and you may very well need to make some as you go along your days, but do not rush yourself.
I am sure your friends will be happy to see that your intentions are pure as you struggle to stay sober, one day at a time.
A living amends is always better than words. And that is where to keep your thoughts today.
You have no control over the past, but the future is up to you.
Keep up the good work!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Central Scotland
Posts: 174
Dangerously bored today.
This is exactly the kind of day where I would go up to the pub 'just to see who was in' and not get back 'til closing, remembering virtually nothing of my day and then fighting with my Girlfriend for waking her up and talking incoherrent nonsense to her down the phone.
I need to find a new release.
This is exactly the kind of day where I would go up to the pub 'just to see who was in' and not get back 'til closing, remembering virtually nothing of my day and then fighting with my Girlfriend for waking her up and talking incoherrent nonsense to her down the phone.
I need to find a new release.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 32
Originally Posted by NewBeginning010
Don't worry about the spiritual/god part of AA in the beginning. Your higher power can be anything that you want it to be, even your desire to quit drinking.
I have tried and failed many times trying to beat alcohol, I have finally admitted my powerlessness and that I needed a support group to beat this thing. Right now it is AA and working the steps. So far so good my friend.
I wish you all of the best in your recovery, stay close to SR.
I have tried and failed many times trying to beat alcohol, I have finally admitted my powerlessness and that I needed a support group to beat this thing. Right now it is AA and working the steps. So far so good my friend.
I wish you all of the best in your recovery, stay close to SR.
Any support, even support you don't seem to relate to at first, is better than trying to do it alone.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Central Scotland
Posts: 174
28 days today. Four whole weeks. How good does not having a hangover feel? No dry mouth, no paranoia, no cringeing like a tourettes sufferer every time some imagined flashback enters your mind. Fantastic!
Made some proactive moves on the job front today and will hopefully hear some good news tomorrow. Feeling fit, things are starting to make sense with no alcoholic cloud engulfing my thoughts and we're another step along the road of recovery. What a change from the crying, shaking wretch I saw in the mirror nearly a month ago.
Made some proactive moves on the job front today and will hopefully hear some good news tomorrow. Feeling fit, things are starting to make sense with no alcoholic cloud engulfing my thoughts and we're another step along the road of recovery. What a change from the crying, shaking wretch I saw in the mirror nearly a month ago.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Sunny Down Under
Posts: 64
Great job Frank. You're story was the one first one I read when I found this site two weeks ago, so I've been following and rooting for you along the way. Keep up the good work, you're inspiring me!
Hannitized
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 353
Originally Posted by FrankBarone
I'll keep bumping this because it a good way of articulating my thoughts, letting off steam and generally keeping track of progress so far.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Central Scotland
Posts: 174
So day 30's nearly over. Was out at an election hustings and then actually ventured in to my local to see a few mates and catch the end of the football on TV. Only stayed for twenty minutes tops and had no temptation to booze but I'll not be making too much of a habit of returning to the scene of so many of my drinking crimes in the coming months.
I'm glad to be sober today.
I'm glad to be sober today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by FrankBarone
So day 30's nearly over. Was out at an election hustings and then actually ventured in to my local to see a few mates and catch the end of the football on TV. Only stayed for twenty minutes tops and had no temptation to booze but I'll not be making too much of a habit of returning to the scene of so many of my drinking crimes in the coming months.
I'm glad to be sober today.
I'm glad to be sober today.
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