artsoul

congratulations Wombie!8

Remember, all we have to today and today we CAN handle what comes up for us. The BONUS is that by not drinking, we actually have a great start at tackling tomorrow, too!

Stick around and keep posting. It's alot like the fellowship at AA and it's open 24/7.

Womble

One day sober..WTF ???

I really can't seem to get it at all..I still go to aa meetings every day but I still drink...but not yesterday and today is now an hour old.

Somehow the message is just not getting through.

Maybe I need some more misery and bad health to open my darn eyes

Any advice on what I am doing wrong would be welcome

smacked

What has your sponsor said? I know I couldn't stay sober until my heart wanted it, no matter how much my head did.

artsoul

I think smacked has a really good point: even after we know intellectually that we're alcoholics, we choose to drink. Infact, that is what makes us alcoholics. When that thought of drinking comes up, and we start entertain the idea of anything positive it might do for us, it totally blots out all the good knowledge we may have had yesterday or the day before. We forget that we really want to be sober until, of course, the withdrawals start again.

You've come here and you've been honest and that's so important. It's obvious you want sobriety. But you're forgetting how miserable you get. You may need to immerse yourself in that memory for a few days and read others' posts to see that it can only get worse. It will take convincing yourself over and over and over again until it goes from your head (an "idea" of sobriety) into your gut - "do I want to continue suffer, or do I want to get better?" There no middle ground. Period.

I hope I don't sound preachy - I'm talking to myself and well as you! Take heart from the people here who didn't think they could stay sober either. Hugs going out to you.

NewBeginning010

Hi Womble, I have been following your story. You need to do this like your life depends on it. Do it for you & your family.

Thinking that a few beers would be nice on a hot day just isn't going to cut it. This stuff is poison ready & waiting to take you out, are you really going to let alcohol win.

"Why dont you choose your own conception of God?" AA page 12

Have you read the BB recently or listened to some of the tapes?

Alcoholics Anonymous : Click on the Book You Would Like to Read

XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

I have danced with this devil many times & know it well, its is there ready and waiting for you to convince yourself you can have just one. Please take care.

You can do this but you need to put everything you have into if you really want it to work.

Take Care,

NB

Womble

Thanks guys, but I just don't feel I am ready. I went yesterday to an aa meeting and got slammed by an old timer saying that I am obviously not ready to quit and i should go out and do my best to loose everything including my life "we don't give a F*** if you get sober or not" well I (or my pride) can't/won't accept that kinda behaviour so I got good and drunk ( and this guy freely admits he only came into the fellowship because he thought he could borrow money to fuel his alcoholism)....I really don't know where to go from here...and that was after I had given a guy with immediate financial probs $40 so he could put a roof over his head till he gets some money sent from Oz.......I really am at a crossroads with all this now, and at the moment am anti it all. FAILURE, I know I should not care what others say, but I sit there and I KNOW I am being judged, and by people who have no right to judge me.....its not what Bill W intended..he said."can you imagine one alcoholic judging another"? well yes judging others is alive and kicking in Thailand,

A sad Womble

SparklingSeven

I got in with an old regular when I first went to AA - a real old A-hole with many issues. Really couloured my view at the beginning. Set me back a bit as well. Forget that person - that individual is not AA and they are not you!

I was 26 when I first started trying - I am now 42. My life would have been so much worse if I hadn't at least been making the effort. Stop being so tough on yourself. Do what you can do when you are able and just keep at it. Stop wanting it all NOW!!

Wish you well,

Stu.

SparklingSeven

There is of course no reason why you can't have it now - just don't be upset if it doesn't quite work out like that.

Grace2

Don't give up. We are all in the same boat and we are all human and prone to making mistakes. I am on day 3. I joined on Monday after giving my lovely family the week end from Hell. What I did last week end was so bad, I cannot even bring myself to write it on here. It was far worse than verbal abuse and I know know I have to stop drinking forever, for my sanity, because I am in serious danger of losing everyone I love. Funny way I have of showing love!!
I am finding this group really helpful and supportive and I can voice my feelings and thoughts at any time.

Please keep posting and be strong!

Dee74

I'm sorry Womble.

People can be unthinking, rude, ignorant and all the rest - you know it and I know it - AA or not...

the point is drinking over them is just fuelling your addiction and it's hurting you, and those who love you, not them.

You deserve a life free of addiction. Don't stop working for that, Womble.

D

artsoul

I agree with Dee, that you're hurting yourself and that jerk probably didn't give it a second thought. Maybe try another meeting? As in life, there are some recovering alcoholics who have personality disorders and create chaos wherever they go. I've had one of them latch onto me and it's hard to deal with them. But besides that, who knows except you when you're ready to stop drinking? That's a horrible thing to tell someone who comes to a meeting for help.

There's a part of us that wants to hold on to that addiction. It takes time for that addict part to die. We just have to get scared enough and convinced enough that we can't do it alone and it will only get worse if we don't do something.

Keep trying!!! You're worth it!

(When you think about that A**H***, tell yourself what Ivana Trump said after Donald divorced her: Success is the sweetest revenge! )

Womble

As I now cant get 1 day sober I went to the hospital today. to see the shrink
They have put me on a drug called Ativan. (Lorazepam), if that does not work today then I have to admit myself tomorrow..I'll do whatever it takes, I am that deperate for sobriety again..I really dont know what went wrong??

Dee74

Womble

Ativan is a benzodiazepine used to treat anxiety disorders or anxiety associated with depression.

It's not a magic pill to help you with your alcoholism, and it can in fact be very dangerous if taken with alcohol, so please remember that.

Have you considered inpatient rehab?
D

SparklingSeven

Very important warning!! I spent a night in police custody for that very reason.

Kmber2010

Welcome to SR! You are here and that is the first step to addressing alcoholism. What is offered here is not a cure or a solution. We can't stop you from drinking or give medical advice.

What you will have is support from a community at all different stages who you will connect with and know that whatever it is you are feeling most of us are there or have been there. From someone who just quit today to seasoned veterans with years of sobriety under their belts, you will find useful information and a wealth of experience.

If you have an urge to drink or had a tough day....well 24/7 there is someone here. Once you have ditched the alcohol and dealing with withdrawals, or questions on things going on.....well we are here.

I personally have not done AA and have used SR and counseling to achieve sobriety. There is far more then just tossing the bottle to be sober. It is about changing things in you and around you.

I just want to say that I do agree with so much of what AA is about. As alcoholic our lives when we look at them closely are pretty unmanageable, insane and out of control. Yeah we may get to work, drop the kids at school, hide our addiction well but alcohol controls us. It consumes us.

Don't worry about relapsing.....that happened to me and so so so many others. Ask yourself what did you learn? Hopefully you will get it loud and clear that YOU CAN'T DRINK period. No sip, no maybe a couple. Just one drink and you are rock bottom feeling depressed and like a failure.

Get back up, dump the booze and hang onto every bit of help and support out like your life depended on it. Because it does.

Think of this....you have a stomach ailment and you continue to drink right? That is pretty insane and unmanageable isn't it?

Keep going friend and stop counting days and that BS. Focus on staying sober for the moment and continue on. It does take willpower and a clear decision to fight for sobriety. It can be done, your life will be more blessed than you can imagine and yes, you can do it!!

Womble

Thanks Kim....I'm drunk as I write..but I have my doubts about waht the hospital can do for me....maybe if I just get off my ass and ignore the twats I can do it myself

All the hospital will do is pump me full of drugs for 5 days and send me back...to aa. I have to fly to the UK in 8 days and I wanna be sober for my family..I'm shi@ing myself with worry...I have drunk with the Ativan but still alive, its 8 hours since my last tablet and I did not drink till 4 hours later...gee I hope I make it through the nite

What a Fukc up I am !!!

Norther

Insanity is painful. I'll pray that you find your way back.

MissMissy

Anna,

How did you do it / get sober, without AA? I don't have access to AA, and I would appreciate guidance. Thank you so much.

artsoul

Womble - If all it took is a willpower, there would be no such thing as AA or SR. I hope you follow through on the above post you wrote:
There's never a better time than the present. Sending a hug your way....

Dream2bClean

This forum is AMAZIN for anyone who wants to stop anything thats bad for your health basically and mainly addictions. Its a very active board, as you see, I have never posted and not gotten a response. I love SR you just need to read read read, post, and listen to others. As in all situations you dont have to agree with everything everyone says but it sure as heck is nice to know all of these wonderful people truly are here for YOU.
Stick around and watch the magic of SR. Welcome! <3 Dream